My boyfriend is on the SOR
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It's a long story but.. I met this guy i fell in love with him we where together a year and he went missing last year for 6 months and there was a roumor he was in prison so I sent letters to the prison for 3 months with no reply then he got out of prison 3 months later after I had just decided to let the whole thing go I came home to a letter on the door step he wanted to talk so I met him and we got back together turns out he had been cought with indecent images on his phone and got 3 months in prison I was shocked I didn't know what to do anyway I toled 1 person a out my situation someone that knew he is the move of my life and wouldn't be too jugemental while he was in prison he tried to kill him self and he relised he needs to change he doesn't have access to the internet or a smart phone and he's honestly trying to be a better person and I am supporting him to the best I can but I feel like there won't be much of a life for us if he's on the sex offenders register I'm so worried we won't be able to have a life or a family I have been toled he's on the register for another 5 years i wish things where different but they are not will I have to give up my dreams of a family??
Thanks for listening to me ramble I just haven't talked about this much
Thanks for listening to me ramble I just haven't talked about this much
You have been through a difficult time, the pain of him disappearing must have been huge. Why did he not tell you, you are a very forgiving person. Love is a powerful feeling but sometimes live isnt enough. Having a family with a sex offender is a difficult choice, there's a lot to consider, is he a risk to any child you might have, social services will be involved, how well do you know him etc. You could have a good life together but it may not be easy. I dont really know if you would have to give up on your dreams of a family but you would face judgement and difficulties but most of all you need to think about the risk posed to any children you might have, you would need help from professionals to assess that risk. There's no rush, if you truely want to make a relationship work theres always a way.
Hi Ninjapanda
sorry to hear you’re going through this. Maria has given you some sound advice. Nobody can tell you what to do, just help you think through different options. You may need to think bout why he didn’t tell you he was going to prison. I would imagine he felt be very ashamed, but if you are going to stay together you are going to have to be completely open and honest with each other - him especially so. You could ask to see the judge’s summing up document t from court so you can be satisfied as to what he was convicted of. If he wants a relationship with you he should give you all the information, even the really horrible bits which he is ashamed of. You may also wa t to ask him what courses he has attended for sex offenders.
if you do want to have a family with him, it is possible, but it will be a long and difficult course. You will social services involvement - there is no getting away from that. And the involvement will start as soon as you have your midwife appointments and disclose about your partner.
Have a think about what you would advise a good friend of your’s if she was in the same situation. X
sorry to hear you’re going through this. Maria has given you some sound advice. Nobody can tell you what to do, just help you think through different options. You may need to think bout why he didn’t tell you he was going to prison. I would imagine he felt be very ashamed, but if you are going to stay together you are going to have to be completely open and honest with each other - him especially so. You could ask to see the judge’s summing up document t from court so you can be satisfied as to what he was convicted of. If he wants a relationship with you he should give you all the information, even the really horrible bits which he is ashamed of. You may also wa t to ask him what courses he has attended for sex offenders.
if you do want to have a family with him, it is possible, but it will be a long and difficult course. You will social services involvement - there is no getting away from that. And the involvement will start as soon as you have your midwife appointments and disclose about your partner.
Have a think about what you would advise a good friend of your’s if she was in the same situation. X
Hi everyone thanks for all the support after long and hard think I agreed to stand by this guy and he has been totally honest with me and what happened to lead him into this situation and he is a better person now he is ridden with guilt and is very open about everything now I feel in my heart that this could work I just needed some reassurance really I'm not condoning what he has done but I feel like he deserves to try and start a fresh no matter how much people will need to be involved I'm fine with that but he would never hurt anyone physically and I trust him to the end of the earth so I suppose if we want a family we will have to prove that
Thanks for the replys x
Thanks for the replys x