The Anxiety is killing me
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Hi all
As many of you know I was 6 months pregnant when we got the knock - Hubby is RUI for 2x communication offences. So far no updates from police other than "it's ongoing".
We have worked extremely hard with Social services and they did consider saying hubby would have to move out when baby was born and a CPP. However, we were put on CIN and hubby has remained home.
Baby girl was born 15/09 and is perfect. We are so in love with her and it feels like my world is perfect - except it's not.
Im so happy. My husband is doing amazing in therapy and we are closer than ever. He is home with us and proving to be be an amazing husband. My daughter is healthy, happy and just the light of my life.
But I cannot help but worry about the future. I am terrified that the police find something on devises (hubby says they won't), terrified that social services change their mind, terrified that when charges are bought he will be bailed and not allowed to be home and terrified he will go to prison then not allowed home.
I want to enjoy this time but cannot help but worry about this. No point to the post really but to air my worries and to not be alone. I don't want to tell my hubby how I'm feeling as he is on cloud 9 at the moment snd I don't want to pop the bubble. It's just so crap. Because he is an amazing dad and husband. He made a stupid mistake and because of that he could be taken from us. And it's all just so unfair.
As many of you know I was 6 months pregnant when we got the knock - Hubby is RUI for 2x communication offences. So far no updates from police other than "it's ongoing".
We have worked extremely hard with Social services and they did consider saying hubby would have to move out when baby was born and a CPP. However, we were put on CIN and hubby has remained home.
Baby girl was born 15/09 and is perfect. We are so in love with her and it feels like my world is perfect - except it's not.
Im so happy. My husband is doing amazing in therapy and we are closer than ever. He is home with us and proving to be be an amazing husband. My daughter is healthy, happy and just the light of my life.
But I cannot help but worry about the future. I am terrified that the police find something on devises (hubby says they won't), terrified that social services change their mind, terrified that when charges are bought he will be bailed and not allowed to be home and terrified he will go to prison then not allowed home.
I want to enjoy this time but cannot help but worry about this. No point to the post really but to air my worries and to not be alone. I don't want to tell my hubby how I'm feeling as he is on cloud 9 at the moment snd I don't want to pop the bubble. It's just so crap. Because he is an amazing dad and husband. He made a stupid mistake and because of that he could be taken from us. And it's all just so unfair.
Scaredlamb - congratulations on the birth of your daughter! I can't imagine how stressful all those doubts must be and how they would naturally impact on this time.
Looking at the dates your post partum hormones would normally drop around this time causing the baby blues. This is often, no matter the other circumstances, a time of doubt, disillusionment and low mood which can affect women to different degrees. If at all possible try to live in the moment and focus on little things you can do something about. If you feel these thoughts becoming overwhelming I would urge you to seek help quickly. If you can be open with someone and get them to keep an eye on your mental health it might be worth knowing you have someone looking out for you. I'm sure you are doing an amazing job! Lack of sleep and getting into the baby routine is hard enough without everything else. Thinking of you xx
Looking at the dates your post partum hormones would normally drop around this time causing the baby blues. This is often, no matter the other circumstances, a time of doubt, disillusionment and low mood which can affect women to different degrees. If at all possible try to live in the moment and focus on little things you can do something about. If you feel these thoughts becoming overwhelming I would urge you to seek help quickly. If you can be open with someone and get them to keep an eye on your mental health it might be worth knowing you have someone looking out for you. I'm sure you are doing an amazing job! Lack of sleep and getting into the baby routine is hard enough without everything else. Thinking of you xx
Hi Scared Lamb,
Congratulations! I can imagine it's very bittersweet at the moment with this lingering over you. I am sure your husband is telling the truth in regards to being nothing on the phone so hopefully the conversation aspect won't be strong enough for any conviction. Just remember that even if things do change there is always a way to work around things and you can adapt to it. Nothing will be permanent.
Stay strong and enjoy motherhood xx
Congratulations! I can imagine it's very bittersweet at the moment with this lingering over you. I am sure your husband is telling the truth in regards to being nothing on the phone so hopefully the conversation aspect won't be strong enough for any conviction. Just remember that even if things do change there is always a way to work around things and you can adapt to it. Nothing will be permanent.
Stay strong and enjoy motherhood xx
Congratulations :)
Easier said than done and it's difficult to do this myself but I try and remember tht when the thoughts an anxieties spring up in my head, I picture them as physical things whether it's a river flowing or a bouncy ball... They come in one of my ears, arrive my head but they don't stay and they trot along out of the other ear. Then I try and busy myself so the thoughts are replaced ( which I imagine you won't have trouble doing with a new little one)!
Easier said than done and it's difficult to do this myself but I try and remember tht when the thoughts an anxieties spring up in my head, I picture them as physical things whether it's a river flowing or a bouncy ball... They come in one of my ears, arrive my head but they don't stay and they trot along out of the other ear. Then I try and busy myself so the thoughts are replaced ( which I imagine you won't have trouble doing with a new little one)!
Thanks all
I actually feel better even just writing it out on here to be honest.
I love the idea of iminaging these scary thoughts as a bouncy ball that can come in but go back out. And I can certainly focus on the little beauty in front of me - seriously so in love! Her middle name is Hope - because she is our Hope for the future and I have to believe it will all work oit in the end and enjoy what time we have now to be a family - as I know we are very lucky!!
Thanks everyone
I actually feel better even just writing it out on here to be honest.
I love the idea of iminaging these scary thoughts as a bouncy ball that can come in but go back out. And I can certainly focus on the little beauty in front of me - seriously so in love! Her middle name is Hope - because she is our Hope for the future and I have to believe it will all work oit in the end and enjoy what time we have now to be a family - as I know we are very lucky!!
Thanks everyone
Congratulations ScaredLamb, and I hope you're managing to get some sleep!
im obviously not an oracle on this but in our case, my partner's bail stated he couldnr live at home whilst social services did their assessment and until they're happy. We're currently at the stage where I'm approved as safe carer/protective so he's here everyday and next step is risk assessment, and then phased return if that's positive.
The police can't stop your partner being at home, it's a multi agency decision and if social services have allowed him to be home and can see it's beneficial for baby then there should be no change.
I wish you all the best xx
im obviously not an oracle on this but in our case, my partner's bail stated he couldnr live at home whilst social services did their assessment and until they're happy. We're currently at the stage where I'm approved as safe carer/protective so he's here everyday and next step is risk assessment, and then phased return if that's positive.
The police can't stop your partner being at home, it's a multi agency decision and if social services have allowed him to be home and can see it's beneficial for baby then there should be no change.
I wish you all the best xx
Hi pregnant and scared
Pleased to hear from you. And super pleased that things are improving for you and he is allowed home now every day for visits.
Thank you for letting me know that! That does give me a great deal of hope that so long as everything goes smoothly with investigation and risk assessment (I have no real reason to doubt this!) then he should be able to stay home at least until sentencing (which we will keep everything crossed for a non Custodial).
Thanks all
Pleased to hear from you. And super pleased that things are improving for you and he is allowed home now every day for visits.
Thank you for letting me know that! That does give me a great deal of hope that so long as everything goes smoothly with investigation and risk assessment (I have no real reason to doubt this!) then he should be able to stay home at least until sentencing (which we will keep everything crossed for a non Custodial).
Thanks all