4 months today.
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Hiya all.
Well four months today our world was turned upside down. We got the knock 4 months ago today. He was bailed and now on RUI.
So far he has had one conversation with the arresting officer who said devices are still being looked into. She said I quote what he said from the chat hoping to have news back at the end of October.
He has responded well to theraphy have done the six modules online and a private theraphy chat over zoom with another one next week.
Thank you everybody ((hugs)) xx
Well four months today our world was turned upside down. We got the knock 4 months ago today. He was bailed and now on RUI.
So far he has had one conversation with the arresting officer who said devices are still being looked into. She said I quote what he said from the chat hoping to have news back at the end of October.
He has responded well to theraphy have done the six modules online and a private theraphy chat over zoom with another one next week.
Thank you everybody ((hugs)) xx
Well done to both of you. Your attitude is so refreshing ! I hope that they do get back to you by th end of October Chelsea ...
We've been goig on nearly a year now and nothing but we live in the south which is why it's taking longer ...
We've been goig on nearly a year now and nothing but we live in the south which is why it's taking longer ...
Hiya Blackhound.
Yes we also live in the south and she said on the phone well done on theraphy etc.
These things can take up to a year before even going on to cps.
So just trying to keep busy. He still works and I have a part time job
((Hugs)) xx
Yes we also live in the south and she said on the phone well done on theraphy etc.
These things can take up to a year before even going on to cps.
So just trying to keep busy. He still works and I have a part time job
((Hugs)) xx
Heya Chelsea,
Im glad your both working, it helps keeps the mind busy. You don't have to say if you don't want to but what area in the south are you? We're near Hampshire Berkshire area. My husband only had two devices taken and nothing will be found he has assured me because the small amount he had was on Dropbox.
How are you living day to day life wise?
My husband has also completed the modules online and saw a private therapist for while. He stopped now.
Do you have any kids? We don't which makes things easier...
X
Im glad your both working, it helps keeps the mind busy. You don't have to say if you don't want to but what area in the south are you? We're near Hampshire Berkshire area. My husband only had two devices taken and nothing will be found he has assured me because the small amount he had was on Dropbox.
How are you living day to day life wise?
My husband has also completed the modules online and saw a private therapist for while. He stopped now.
Do you have any kids? We don't which makes things easier...
X
Hey Lee,
They know his dropbox password and account information he said that his never used the laptop, only the phone. I guess whether they count accounts on the devices such as dropbox as being on the device itself is another issue. They did say that apparently theyd like to use his account to work on bigger cases i.e. police decoys and such which Is why he handed the information over.
He explained that he had to download them to his phone in order to save it to dropbox and then delete them but if they're the same images only deleted I am hoping it'll count as one image.
He has told me that it's only about 130, mostly cat C and a few B, nothing Cat A (which I am aware 1 is too many but we're here now).
As I've said before the reason he downloaded the images was so that he could send them to men and gain their attention. Already depressed and confused about his sexuality, and not knowing what to do about it, he drunk himself into oblivion and went down the rabbit hole about 4-5 times. These were teenagers, not young children and there were images of adult women on their too.
Is it bad if I see it as not a big crime given the small number, the reasoning and the catagories? I'm not saying it's not wrong, he knows he deserves to be punished and I think he does too but the stigma...
From 4 months to 12 months this is proving too much some days. Other days it's okay. We all talk about the waiting but for me it's the secrecy of it all too. I hate keeping secrets. A lot of my family already hold a mixed impression of my husband because of his past mental health issues, brash personality and heavy drinking (which all tied with the handful on instances he downloaded it) so if they were to ever find out it'd prove to be the finishing blow.
I understand more now why he did what he did but the sinful nature of the crime... How are people supposed to reintegrate into society and become a better person when this is never talked about?
I really really want to start a movement or something like that, something that acknowledges the nature of the crime but also supports the need to help these people, reform them and say 'hey it's okay, you've paid your penance for your crimes and now that you've served your time anyour remorseful, we can welcome you back into society'.
One last rant, has anyone ever had an autism diagnosis as a mitigatig factor ? Or have they had a diagnosis and sent it to the police which helped their case?
They know his dropbox password and account information he said that his never used the laptop, only the phone. I guess whether they count accounts on the devices such as dropbox as being on the device itself is another issue. They did say that apparently theyd like to use his account to work on bigger cases i.e. police decoys and such which Is why he handed the information over.
He explained that he had to download them to his phone in order to save it to dropbox and then delete them but if they're the same images only deleted I am hoping it'll count as one image.
He has told me that it's only about 130, mostly cat C and a few B, nothing Cat A (which I am aware 1 is too many but we're here now).
As I've said before the reason he downloaded the images was so that he could send them to men and gain their attention. Already depressed and confused about his sexuality, and not knowing what to do about it, he drunk himself into oblivion and went down the rabbit hole about 4-5 times. These were teenagers, not young children and there were images of adult women on their too.
Is it bad if I see it as not a big crime given the small number, the reasoning and the catagories? I'm not saying it's not wrong, he knows he deserves to be punished and I think he does too but the stigma...
From 4 months to 12 months this is proving too much some days. Other days it's okay. We all talk about the waiting but for me it's the secrecy of it all too. I hate keeping secrets. A lot of my family already hold a mixed impression of my husband because of his past mental health issues, brash personality and heavy drinking (which all tied with the handful on instances he downloaded it) so if they were to ever find out it'd prove to be the finishing blow.
I understand more now why he did what he did but the sinful nature of the crime... How are people supposed to reintegrate into society and become a better person when this is never talked about?
I really really want to start a movement or something like that, something that acknowledges the nature of the crime but also supports the need to help these people, reform them and say 'hey it's okay, you've paid your penance for your crimes and now that you've served your time anyour remorseful, we can welcome you back into society'.
One last rant, has anyone ever had an autism diagnosis as a mitigatig factor ? Or have they had a diagnosis and sent it to the police which helped their case?
Hi, just curious as to why it takes longer in the south? I am in the south but the arrest was up north so it's kinda split for us, devices were seized in the south. I hope this doesn't make it take longer, the waiting game is torture and it's only just three months on. Where do you get your strength from? x
Our case took three months and that was torture. I sympathise with you ladies where investigation/conclusion drags on and on..... x
We are still waiting...
Arrest: July 2019
second interview: August 2020
Plea hearing: June 2021
Estimated trial date: End of Jan 2022
If that goes ahead it will be 2 1/2 years of waiting - all for 2 chats.
Arrest: July 2019
second interview: August 2020
Plea hearing: June 2021
Estimated trial date: End of Jan 2022
If that goes ahead it will be 2 1/2 years of waiting - all for 2 chats.
Wow CE-CE.
whereabouts in the country are you ,?
Xx
whereabouts in the country are you ,?
Xx
Yes pleading not guilty but still think it is a stupid amount of time. The knock was July 2019 - even at the plea hearing they said it was awful it had taken so long.
We are in Kent
Thanks Lee - yes defo not defendant's delays - have pushed for updates and news all the way. Can't blame Covid - they had all of it way before the lockdowns. They have no concern that a family had been put through this for 2 and a half years.
Oh Lee! Life on hold while we wait for it all. Biggest hugs to you - I'll update when I can and have news. In the mean time , stay as sane as you can and I'll try and do the same xx
Thank you Lee xx
Hi blackhound I will try to remember what to answer ( as I cant go back to the post whilst writing). Ant images deleted or not will be found as will the images in dropbox and normally they are all counted but will state if there are duplicates.
Hopefully they'll not count the duplicates then as the total images...
As for how you see what he has done that is your personal decision and no one elses dont forget that. The why and how is important for us as family and friends but the justice system look at this in a black and white way and that wont change anytime soon. But they will want to know everything that has been done since the initial arrest to address his behaviour and that's so important.
He has taken the online modules through the LF and see a stopso therapist for awhile. He's also seeing another therapist for drinking and in time the investigation at the moment so it should all count in his favour...
As for autism that I'm not sure about how courts look upon this but I would say dont tell the police any of this as it will not help with their investigating keep communication with them to a minimal and try to do ot through your solicitor so there is a paper trial to cover his back.
We haven't actually been in contact with the police since the knock because I don't think my husband wants to but also as we know the timing on this can be very long, there's no point really ... We haven't had any communication from any solicitor... I think I remember hearing from his StopSo therapist that an autism diagnosis will help, I think it's a mitigating circumstance.
Sadly these crimes are put under one umbrella by the media and society and until these 2 things want to listen and learn then it wont change but I am seeing small things in papers etc that may one day open a door for this to be discussed in an adult way instead of villifying every person caught up in this crime.
It would be nice for us to think that one day in the future smll discussion and support groups could e set up, similar to AA support groups and such so that slowly the world understands a little more.
I know it has been a while for you but keep doing everything your doing on working together as a couple and individually because that will help you deal with all this alot better. We have no control of any aspect of this but learning and understanding( if you stay or leave) can give you a little bit of piece of mind and give you a sense of taking back a tiny piece of control. Hope that makes some sense x
Ive been doing a lot of work on me recently which has been very nice... As a couple we've really be struggling, our relationship isn't healthy ATM but I am hoping that one day, when the investigation is closed off we can put it behind us...
I hope your 2nd case gets resolved soon Lee I really do x
Hopefully they'll not count the duplicates then as the total images...
As for how you see what he has done that is your personal decision and no one elses dont forget that. The why and how is important for us as family and friends but the justice system look at this in a black and white way and that wont change anytime soon. But they will want to know everything that has been done since the initial arrest to address his behaviour and that's so important.
He has taken the online modules through the LF and see a stopso therapist for awhile. He's also seeing another therapist for drinking and in time the investigation at the moment so it should all count in his favour...
As for autism that I'm not sure about how courts look upon this but I would say dont tell the police any of this as it will not help with their investigating keep communication with them to a minimal and try to do ot through your solicitor so there is a paper trial to cover his back.
We haven't actually been in contact with the police since the knock because I don't think my husband wants to but also as we know the timing on this can be very long, there's no point really ... We haven't had any communication from any solicitor... I think I remember hearing from his StopSo therapist that an autism diagnosis will help, I think it's a mitigating circumstance.
Sadly these crimes are put under one umbrella by the media and society and until these 2 things want to listen and learn then it wont change but I am seeing small things in papers etc that may one day open a door for this to be discussed in an adult way instead of villifying every person caught up in this crime.
It would be nice for us to think that one day in the future smll discussion and support groups could e set up, similar to AA support groups and such so that slowly the world understands a little more.
I know it has been a while for you but keep doing everything your doing on working together as a couple and individually because that will help you deal with all this alot better. We have no control of any aspect of this but learning and understanding( if you stay or leave) can give you a little bit of piece of mind and give you a sense of taking back a tiny piece of control. Hope that makes some sense x
Ive been doing a lot of work on me recently which has been very nice... As a couple we've really be struggling, our relationship isn't healthy ATM but I am hoping that one day, when the investigation is closed off we can put it behind us...
I hope your 2nd case gets resolved soon Lee I really do x