Family and Friends Forum

Hubby has told me everything. Gutted.

Notifications OFF

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Mon September 27, 2021 1:38pmReport post

Hiya all.

Well me and hubby had a big chat and row on Saturday and told me everything. The works.

Gutted to say the least.

He had a old Facebook account in different doesn't know passwords but that site the police have said it got sent from there.

He saw images on WhatsApp about 25 he said and sent on about 5. He said.

Also viewed beastiality but didn't save it or pass it on.

He looked at some writings about young stuff.

Some bloke on Kik or whatever is called chatted to him but told him to F off or lose your family and then blocked him.

Sorry cannot stop crying.

He rung he solicitor this morning and he said that he would be looking at a suspended sentence but a long time on SOR etc.

Sorry xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Mon September 27, 2021 2:08pmReport post

Big big hug........ I'm of the age I don't understand all this social media stuff. It's like a maze and I can just imagine how my boy got sucked into it..... so so sorry, best it's now out in the open tho x

Edited Mon September 27, 2021 2:19pm

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Mon September 27, 2021 2:17pmReport post

Hi smile.

Yes at least now I know everything

Xx

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Mon September 27, 2021 2:58pmReport post

Hi Chelsea 1,

Hopefully not u no the whole truth u can start working on how u r both going to deal with it sending love and hugs to u xx

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Mon September 27, 2021 4:13pmReport post

I still wanna be with him that's the problem.

He isn't a evil man.

Xx

Fighter

Member since
September 2021

13 posts

Posted Mon September 27, 2021 6:36pmReport post

Hi Chelsea 1

We got the knock about 3 weeks ago and I'm struggling with all this mess. I'm still not exactly sure what my partner has been accused of.

He says naked images of adults and children but I'm sure he hasn't told me the whole truth. I just don't know what to believe as the truth will out in the end and I will be told.

My partner is loving and so kind and I love him to pieces and I still want to be with him. We were hoping to get married and and live together but I just dont know what the outcome will be.

His bail ends soon so I'm not sure what the next step is as I've never (like most of us) have ever dealt with anything like this before.

It's difficult because I have teenage children with my ex and I have only told him what has happened. I feel so lonely and angry, I have no other support apart from the odd call to the helpline and looking at how other strong women are coping on here.

From what I have read this is going to be a very long road. I'm worried for when SS gets in touch with me.

I hate him for what's he's done he has totally ruined my life. I feel like he needs to be punished as I'm hurting so much. How do you even build trust after this??

Sending you big hugs and stay strong xxx

I feel like my life is falling apart, hopefully it gets better ??

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Mon September 27, 2021 6:39pmReport post

We're all here for you x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Mon September 27, 2021 6:57pmReport post

Words of wisdom Lee.

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Mon September 27, 2021 7:56pmReport post

Thank you everybody. Means so much.

So he is on RUI at the moment and had the knock 4 months ago had one phone and said devices maybe done in October.

What's the time frame now ?

Xx

Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Tue September 28, 2021 11:13amReport post

Chelsea, my heart goes out to you. Although it is so very heartbreaking knowing the truth, its the only way you will ever be able to process what has happened. My husband confessed after 16weeks of lying, it felt like I'd been steamrollered for a second time. Not everyone wants to know the nitty gritty of the offences, I did and I'm glad I now know everything. It really has helped me try and understand just where my husbands head was at. I have also started reading Sex Addiction-the partners perspective by Paula Hall. This has been a great help in realising what has happened is no reflection on our marriage, hence I'm working to stay with him and support him.

Take each day as it comes, don't make any rash decisions and look after yourself xxx

Hopeforthefuture

Member since
September 2021

97 posts

Posted Tue September 28, 2021 3:54pmReport post

Chelsea 1

Your story resonates with me. My husband had initial contact with someone on Twitter. The guy sent him an indecent image he told his to F off and blocked him. Never thought anything more if it until we got the knock. Then when they had his phone they looked at everything including a WhatsApp group with his so called mates. The group had images of beastiality as well as other images that daft lads send to their mates. My husband was the only one from this group to be charged yet he wasn't the main contributor. His friends are vile, totally cut him off and im sure it's because they are worried that they too will get the dreaded knock. 21 months later we've just had our court date and it went so much better than expected. Judge downgraded the cat A images to cat C but this bloody beasitiality one was the killer. Hopefully the ending to your ordeal will be as good as ours was.
sending you huge virtual hugs xxx

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Tue September 28, 2021 4:49pmReport post

Hiya Hope.

All the best for the future xx

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Tue September 28, 2021 5:00pmReport post

Hi Hope,

Had your husband contributed to the group or did he just get sent the images in the group? I'm in a similar situation at the moment with a stupid Whatsapp group and worried he will get into trouble for "funny" things which got sent to him. The big issue is they automatically saved from Whatsapp and he didn't know so they've been there for ages - also copied across to a new phone through iCloud so potentially looking at a making charge aswell as possessing because they've been there for so long. Stressful!!!!

xx

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Tue September 28, 2021 11:12pmReport post

Thank you for everybody's kind words.

I need a few days to myself to think and take everything in.

Gonna stay with a friend of mine in Wales.

((Hugs)) xx

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Sat October 2, 2021 4:10pmReport post

Hiya.

So been away and had a good long think.

So he told me everything and if he continues to carry on couselling and courses then I am prepared to start and try and work things out.

Thank you xx

Blackhound

Member since
October 2020

479 posts

Posted Sun October 3, 2021 11:24amReport post

Well done for putting yourself first Chelsea and taking a few days away...

It's great that you have come o a decision but please remember that there might be times when your decision waivers and that's okay... Take this all one day at a time...

Humans beins are not perfect.. We make mistakes but if someone is willing to say they've done something wrong but they are willing to learn, grow and move on then ithink that it makes you a stronger and healthier person.

Please know that you're not alone either... We're all in the same boat. I genuinely wish that I could meet up , chat with and hug you all xx

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Sun October 3, 2021 2:51pmReport post

Hiya Blackhound.

Thank you for taking the time to get back to me.

We are taking each day at the time at the moment. At least no more skeletons in the closet.

Xx

Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Mon October 4, 2021 1:03pmReport post

Chelsea, 1 day at a time is my mantra..... I'm just waiting until we get Crown Court date out of the way..... At the moment if CPS don't back down my husband will definitely get a custodial sentence! I can't see past that day at the moment.

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Mon October 4, 2021 4:54pmReport post

Hiya MW.

You are so right what you say and at the moment I can take one day at a time and try and press on.

What's your Hubby been charged with if you don't mind me asking ?

Virtual hugs xx

Chelsea 1

Member since
June 2021

891 posts

Posted Thu October 7, 2021 7:35pmReport post

Hiya.

So we have been to hell and back but still together

We have to honest and open about what he does and sees.

Xx