Mental Health
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Hey guys,
I've been really active on here over the last few weeks as I thought it helped me by trying to help others and also by trying to compare what my journey is to others to try and get comfort from what the outcome may be. The truth is I will not know the outcome until my situation has come to an end and unfortunately there is nothing I can do other than wait longer than the six months I've already spent torturing myself everyday - whether it be a brief moment of remembering the situation or a whole day delving in and out of everything in my head.
Today I've had a meltdown, a total crying on the floor meltdown, when I realised what I was doing I thought that's funny because my period isn't lingering. Why did I have a meltdown? Because some bogus company I apparently subscribed to took almost 50% of my disposable income for the month and there's little I can do to get it back. Is that really a big deal? Not really because I can get help from my partner. When I sat and thought about it my anger, frustration and upset stemmed to lack of control. I had no control over the money being taken and I have no control over the outcome of my partner's future and potentially my relationship which I value deeply coming to an end if it all goes west. I feel so angry that we are left in limbo for such a long time and it feels like a prison sentence. It dawned on me that my habitual checking and posting on here makes me think about everything more. As someone who normally is so strong and will fight to the death for things I believe in, being in this position is absolutely torturous for me.
For the time being I'm removing my bookmark and taking some time away. I'm going to try and push everything out of my mind and hope that everyday the RIGHT outcome arrrives promptly so I can move on with my life. Thought I'd share this in case anyone else is struggling and send my love and strength to you all.
I'll post when there's an outcome.xx
????
I've been really active on here over the last few weeks as I thought it helped me by trying to help others and also by trying to compare what my journey is to others to try and get comfort from what the outcome may be. The truth is I will not know the outcome until my situation has come to an end and unfortunately there is nothing I can do other than wait longer than the six months I've already spent torturing myself everyday - whether it be a brief moment of remembering the situation or a whole day delving in and out of everything in my head.
Today I've had a meltdown, a total crying on the floor meltdown, when I realised what I was doing I thought that's funny because my period isn't lingering. Why did I have a meltdown? Because some bogus company I apparently subscribed to took almost 50% of my disposable income for the month and there's little I can do to get it back. Is that really a big deal? Not really because I can get help from my partner. When I sat and thought about it my anger, frustration and upset stemmed to lack of control. I had no control over the money being taken and I have no control over the outcome of my partner's future and potentially my relationship which I value deeply coming to an end if it all goes west. I feel so angry that we are left in limbo for such a long time and it feels like a prison sentence. It dawned on me that my habitual checking and posting on here makes me think about everything more. As someone who normally is so strong and will fight to the death for things I believe in, being in this position is absolutely torturous for me.
For the time being I'm removing my bookmark and taking some time away. I'm going to try and push everything out of my mind and hope that everyday the RIGHT outcome arrrives promptly so I can move on with my life. Thought I'd share this in case anyone else is struggling and send my love and strength to you all.
I'll post when there's an outcome.xx
????
Hi Baffledb,
You have to do wat is right for u, I have I come on here and read things and sometimes post due to me being on my own at nights and this gives me company sad I no but that's how I feel, it is a long hard journey and it is best to just take each day at a time xx sorry to hear u have been scammed xx
You have to do wat is right for u, I have I come on here and read things and sometimes post due to me being on my own at nights and this gives me company sad I no but that's how I feel, it is a long hard journey and it is best to just take each day at a time xx sorry to hear u have been scammed xx
Whatever works for you is okay. No-one here will tell you what is right or wrong for you.
Take care.
Take care.
I was terrified of coming into this forum, like many of us it boiled down to confidentiality. I phoned and they advised me to read the posts - I'd no need to comment.
I still wouldn't put ALL the details of my situation but I've been brave as I've gathered confidence, adding more.
I personally find it amazing and comforting to be amongst people who 100% understand how you feel, as we all go along this very disturbing and difficult journey.
I don't want to burden other people in my circle, having to tread very carefully, with who and what I say, it's exhausting. . Everyone has their own set of problems in life. Trouble is their problems no doubt have a conclusion, with our situation it's on going and there is no end. Just rebuilding and living with the consequences of a loved ones crime.
Its a councilling recovery tool for me personally and I'm very grateful to everyone on here and the people that put it together for us. X
take care baffled b x
I still wouldn't put ALL the details of my situation but I've been brave as I've gathered confidence, adding more.
I personally find it amazing and comforting to be amongst people who 100% understand how you feel, as we all go along this very disturbing and difficult journey.
I don't want to burden other people in my circle, having to tread very carefully, with who and what I say, it's exhausting. . Everyone has their own set of problems in life. Trouble is their problems no doubt have a conclusion, with our situation it's on going and there is no end. Just rebuilding and living with the consequences of a loved ones crime.
Its a councilling recovery tool for me personally and I'm very grateful to everyone on here and the people that put it together for us. X
take care baffled b x