Where has my privacy gone?
Notifications OFF
My husband's case was in the media and gradually more people are finding out. I'm relieved it's been spread out over a couple of weeks as I couldn't have handled everyone finding out all at once. I have lots of close friends in a range of friendship circles, most of whom knew me and hubby as a pair. He's in prison now and I'm facing the music.
Really struggling with feeling like my business is suddenly everyone else's. Everyone says I don't owe them an explanation but then when they see me they want to know what's happened as they're trying to understand for themselves. They all saw it in the media first and have ruminated on the language they used about him.
It's so hard trying to work out how to deal with friends, they're kind of grieving the loss of him as a friend but also claiming to be concerned about me. But when I say the best thing they can do for me is to keep it as private as possible to minimise the impact on my life, at least a couple have already told others and only admitted to it days after I'd asked them to keep it private.
I know there's no textbook on how to deal with this and I'm really trying to remember that I've known about my husband's offending for 2 years and they've only recently found out, but still sometimes it feels frustrating that I'm the victim and yet they seem to think of themselves in the first instance. Trying not to be harsh on them and I'm not normally a selfish person, but right now it feels like I need to try to preserve the life I have/had, well what's left of it. Not decided what I'm going to do in terms of staying with the hubby, I'm hoping time will be an indicator for me once he's been inside for 18 months I guess I'll know by then what I want to do. Work seem to think I can go back when I'm ready (I work in a school).
I want to be there for my friends as they struggle through this, but tbh I never banked on so many of them finding out all the details. I know I can't give up on all of them as I need support too, but so tricky as to where to draw the line between what counts as self v friendship preservation and needing space from others.
Sorry for the rant, just needed to get all these feelings off my chest.
Really struggling with feeling like my business is suddenly everyone else's. Everyone says I don't owe them an explanation but then when they see me they want to know what's happened as they're trying to understand for themselves. They all saw it in the media first and have ruminated on the language they used about him.
It's so hard trying to work out how to deal with friends, they're kind of grieving the loss of him as a friend but also claiming to be concerned about me. But when I say the best thing they can do for me is to keep it as private as possible to minimise the impact on my life, at least a couple have already told others and only admitted to it days after I'd asked them to keep it private.
I know there's no textbook on how to deal with this and I'm really trying to remember that I've known about my husband's offending for 2 years and they've only recently found out, but still sometimes it feels frustrating that I'm the victim and yet they seem to think of themselves in the first instance. Trying not to be harsh on them and I'm not normally a selfish person, but right now it feels like I need to try to preserve the life I have/had, well what's left of it. Not decided what I'm going to do in terms of staying with the hubby, I'm hoping time will be an indicator for me once he's been inside for 18 months I guess I'll know by then what I want to do. Work seem to think I can go back when I'm ready (I work in a school).
I want to be there for my friends as they struggle through this, but tbh I never banked on so many of them finding out all the details. I know I can't give up on all of them as I need support too, but so tricky as to where to draw the line between what counts as self v friendship preservation and needing space from others.
Sorry for the rant, just needed to get all these feelings off my chest.
Hiya hun.
So sorry to hear this news.
I hope you coping ok with this hell.
What did he get a sentence for if you don't me asking.
Xx
So sorry to hear this news.
I hope you coping ok with this hell.
What did he get a sentence for if you don't me asking.
Xx