Back to normal?
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Been just over 2 weeks since the knock, with my partner's son being arrested for iioc and online chat about abusing his half sister and uploading family photos of her to this chat.
Been off work for 2 weeks- depression and anxiety have been at an all time high. I've barely left the house and I'm back at work tomorrow. I know I'm not ready, I feel no different to how I did 2 weeks ago, but everyone around me seems to think it will help to get some semblance of 'normal' back.
Don't know how to be the old me. I'm usually the one who laughs and jokes and lifts others. Now, I can barely say a word. I'm terrified about how I'm going to cope. I'm a teacher, so I feel awkward about being around the kids, like I shouldn't be there after what's happened, like I'm tainted somehow by his horrific behaviour.
Can't stop crying, feel completely on edge and overwhelmed with all of it.
Anyone else felt this way? Xxx
Been off work for 2 weeks- depression and anxiety have been at an all time high. I've barely left the house and I'm back at work tomorrow. I know I'm not ready, I feel no different to how I did 2 weeks ago, but everyone around me seems to think it will help to get some semblance of 'normal' back.
Don't know how to be the old me. I'm usually the one who laughs and jokes and lifts others. Now, I can barely say a word. I'm terrified about how I'm going to cope. I'm a teacher, so I feel awkward about being around the kids, like I shouldn't be there after what's happened, like I'm tainted somehow by his horrific behaviour.
Can't stop crying, feel completely on edge and overwhelmed with all of it.
Anyone else felt this way? Xxx
It is completely understandable. Go at your own pace. It took me about a month to realise that I must have been in shock for those first four weeks as I started to feel a bit different. It took me 2.5 months to return to work. I then did a phased return over a period of 2 months which helped a lot. The DSL at my school was really supportive and still is. Sentencing is soon and I feel totally distracted and on edge. But at the moment work is a good distraction. At the beginning it would have been impossible.
This is a huge life changing event. I really believe if you bottle up emotions and try to act normal then it'll errupt in a worse way in the future. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to your mental health. Try and do what's best for you - and the hardest bit: try not to feel guilty for putting yourself first xx
This is a huge life changing event. I really believe if you bottle up emotions and try to act normal then it'll errupt in a worse way in the future. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to your mental health. Try and do what's best for you - and the hardest bit: try not to feel guilty for putting yourself first xx
I really believe if you bottle up emotions and try to act normal then it'll errupt in a worse way in the future
Truer words have never been spoken.. The way I have started to handle it is to speak about other things that are troubling my life... It feels like a little weight is lifted to get something off of my chest... Never the investigation but is does provide a little respite
Truer words have never been spoken.. The way I have started to handle it is to speak about other things that are troubling my life... It feels like a little weight is lifted to get something off of my chest... Never the investigation but is does provide a little respite
I am also a teacher and it was my (now ex) partner who was arrested. I can totally identify with feeling 'tainted' and feeling unsettled about being around the kids. I really struggled with that for a good while afterwards and still have flickers of it now.
The behaviour was not you and does not reflect you but I can totally appreciate that it doesn't always feel that way. The one thing that helped me the most was reminding myself that feelings are not facts. Take care.
The behaviour was not you and does not reflect you but I can totally appreciate that it doesn't always feel that way. The one thing that helped me the most was reminding myself that feelings are not facts. Take care.
Oh how I agree with Gemini - I continue to avoid people ie in the supermarket esp the gossipy type... plus I worked in childcare at the time....
With neighbours and friends I hit it straight on the head outright and after that normality to a degree has returned with 'normal' chat. They read it, heard it - thanks lovely media that ripped us apart - so couldn't hide it!!!! Hard times...
With neighbours and friends I hit it straight on the head outright and after that normality to a degree has returned with 'normal' chat. They read it, heard it - thanks lovely media that ripped us apart - so couldn't hide it!!!! Hard times...
So, return to work has not improved my mental health. I had a reasonable day yesterday, then hit home and it all just hit me and I couldn't stop crying.
Then today, the DSL from my daughter's school (who I have also known for years, professionally and personally) called to let me know what the teachers had said for the SW report. It was all good, and we were commended for keeping it all from her.
This has set me off again. Had to come home from work afterwards to calm myself down. Returned to work, came home and crashed again, just like it was 2 weeks ago when we got our knock. OH is great (especially as it's his son that's committed the offence).
I feel so low. I can't stop thinking that I didn't keep her safe. That I should've known somehow. I just can't cope. X
Then today, the DSL from my daughter's school (who I have also known for years, professionally and personally) called to let me know what the teachers had said for the SW report. It was all good, and we were commended for keeping it all from her.
This has set me off again. Had to come home from work afterwards to calm myself down. Returned to work, came home and crashed again, just like it was 2 weeks ago when we got our knock. OH is great (especially as it's his son that's committed the offence).
I feel so low. I can't stop thinking that I didn't keep her safe. That I should've known somehow. I just can't cope. X
It is a horrible overwhelming experience. All I wanted was for everyone to 'go away' and leave me curled up in a ball. A year down the line I still have days like this. Bless you - we are here for you x