Family and Friends Forum

As children we know nothing about love or sex only what we are shown or taught and so trauma like this teaches you in a very bad way what sex and love means and for men from an early age are taught not to do emotions etc so bottle up.

Well said Lee... Men are taught that bottling up emotions is absolutely the right thing to do and that they need to be the strong man... So they find other ways to dispell their feelings...

My husband was as a teenage taught by another teenager 3/4 years his senior (he was around 13/14) that sending images videos and touching were okay, even if you're a little uncomfortable with it. The lines are so blurred that it almost became normal to do those thing in secret.

Little boys start to develop sexually around 8-9 whereas little girls start to from around 6-7 so from an early age woman have a head start at understanding these things.

It's not as black and white as that he's had something done to him so he won't then go and do it to another person. Emotions are complex things so thinking of it as simply as that can be a lead to conclusions or thoughts that don't necessarily help anyone's situations. Keep seeing the therapist and hopefully you can discovers why...

I think also being mixed up with your sexuality 'can' lead you down this path.

It's definitely worth doing some reading of books about male sex offenders, addictions and also on trauma and the brain. It can help to identify why others have ended up doing the things they have done. Then of course they can get the help they need. I'm feeling that a forensic Pyschologist maybe needed at the start of the process and then again if that person has started getting help and pre sentence. No idea if I am right but thinking for us this maybe a way forward.

Smile through tears

I agree with you as my son told us he was gay after we had the knock for images

Could anyone explain how a forensic psychologist can help before formal charges and court can help?

Thank you

To really suss out the make up of the person whose involved in the legal process to ascertain the mental health issues that need addressing that lead to the offences. If this makes sense. There are no family children involved so no ss.



thx

We know what the person has done whatever the charges so this is to try to understand from the legal side the perceived risk as well as from the personal side to then look at the best treatment.

thanks

Hey ..

My oh wrote me a letter wk after the knock 5 months ago

He told me he had been abused aged 4 at a church playgroup (60's) .

Then by a family member aged 9

I've since been told by him who the family member was /is and I'm total shock..

He says he has no empathy and the reasons fur doing what he has is why should he be the only one to suffer !

Im shocked he has done this before and had a custodial sentence which I never knew ..

He says he's broken yet the family member who has broken him by abusing him is his sister and they are very close.. as was I with her before I knew

I was raped aged 12 he knew all my issues had been there fur me

Yet he couldn't tell me his issues

5 months ago when it all kicked off he said I can't do this without you.. but I've been here 16 years why didn't you ask fir help before now ?

We are separated still in same house its awful I want to be there to help he's just saying nothing life is just bumbling along ..

Not heard anything else since he was in court week after the knock we are in Scotland.

I want him out as I don't want this at my door when it all goes to court etc ..

He was caught with idc I don't know what or how much ..

Don't want to know..

Struggle every.single day one day he's my everything blink of an eye its gone