Family and Friends Forum

Partner being refused access to their children

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Bee73

Member since
September 2021

7 posts

Posted Wed October 6, 2021 9:45pmReport post

Hi,

Has anyone experienced their partner's ex with-holding access of the children after arrest?

We are currently going through this, and it is horrendous. The ex's SW says it is up to her (the mother) if she allows him access. This cannot be true surely. They both have parental rights. There has been no contact disclosure, and he is still under investigation, but this could go on for such a long time. Not good for anyone.

Are there any options we can investigate? Any experiences you can share?

Thanks

majestictopaz

Member since
December 2019

499 posts

Posted Thu October 7, 2021 7:20pmReport post

My partner is in the same situation. It is true that she the current right to withold access. If he wants access he will need to go through family courts which will require at least one meeting for mediation between him and the mother.

Unfortunately the family courts told my partner they could not authorize access until after he was sentenced. They did have make a court order that the mother had to provide monthly updates about the children.

Once sentenced he had to re apply to the courts. He did this just as the pandemic hit in march 2020. It has been well over a year and still no agreement made. The latest is he has to have a risk assessment done by an independent professional for the court to make their decision. He is trying to go for supervised visitation, he is an online offender only- no contact or communication.

His ex is very anti any contact, especially since he did plead guilty and was sentenced. But if the courts do allow contact she will have to abide by the ruling.

Maybe your partner can reach out to her to understand her concerns, provide some closure where possible and he should look into doing therapy or courses to address his behaviour.

There is potential that it is deemed too detrimental to the children. My partner has not seen or spoken to his kids since 2017. And his youngest will not remember him. It is heart breaking and I believe children should be able to know both parents. But without the ex's co operation it will be very difficult. We have no idea what the kids know about the situation either.

Sorry this may not be want you want to hear but this is just our experience.

Heartbroken

Member since
January 2021

20 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 9:42amReport post

We are going through exactly the same thing, SS have no issues with supervised contact and in their report stated the children would like to remain in contact with me, but his ex has blocked me on everything and even though the family court has ordered letters whilst it's being appealed she is ignoring it. I was stepmom to the children for 3 years and it's heartbreaking not to have any contact with them.