SS Assessment after release from custody
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Hi there
Just wondering if anyone can share any experiences.
my OH is due to be released very soon and probation have been in touch and made a referral for us to SS. They called me earlier this week to tell me they will need to do an assessment before my OH can see the children. I was a bit confused because we had been having unlimited supervised contact for three years before my OH went into custody, so naively I thought it would stay that way.
The SW was pleasant on the phone and said because it had been so long since our last assessment, and because I was in a relationship still with the children's dad. That they needed to see I could be protective and then they would let us know what contact would look like afterwards. It made me feel a little panicky tbh. The children have always been able to see their dad with me supervising. We've been able to be a family and go out and do things together or just chill on the Xbox. I'm scared they will take that away from us because I still love my OH.
The SW is coming to see us in a week, I have done several child protection courses and the children are fully aware of what their dad has done. Just when I thought we were moving forward feels like another giant step back again.
Blue x
Just wondering if anyone can share any experiences.
my OH is due to be released very soon and probation have been in touch and made a referral for us to SS. They called me earlier this week to tell me they will need to do an assessment before my OH can see the children. I was a bit confused because we had been having unlimited supervised contact for three years before my OH went into custody, so naively I thought it would stay that way.
The SW was pleasant on the phone and said because it had been so long since our last assessment, and because I was in a relationship still with the children's dad. That they needed to see I could be protective and then they would let us know what contact would look like afterwards. It made me feel a little panicky tbh. The children have always been able to see their dad with me supervising. We've been able to be a family and go out and do things together or just chill on the Xbox. I'm scared they will take that away from us because I still love my OH.
The SW is coming to see us in a week, I have done several child protection courses and the children are fully aware of what their dad has done. Just when I thought we were moving forward feels like another giant step back again.
Blue x
yes, they will be utterly focused on hearing that you put your children's safety first. If you can get that through I think it will help.
Hi Lee
Thanks for replying. Yes it does make sense, and to be honest its probably what we need. My children are 13 and nearly 15. Both of them are totally aware of everything that has happened. The sentence was for 18 months custodial he'll be out after 9. He was sentenced for a small amount of IOCs (24 in total all categorys) and a conversation with an undercover officer. The children wishes would be for supervised contact. I have protected them for 3 years while this has all been going on, and given them as stable life as much as I possibly can. I have lots of support from close family, and have a safety plan and have completed courses also.
OH will do a course when released I presume, as with Covid restrictions nothing could be done while inside.
The first assessment went very well just hoping this one does too. Trying to stay strong but worried as well.
blue x
Thanks for replying. Yes it does make sense, and to be honest its probably what we need. My children are 13 and nearly 15. Both of them are totally aware of everything that has happened. The sentence was for 18 months custodial he'll be out after 9. He was sentenced for a small amount of IOCs (24 in total all categorys) and a conversation with an undercover officer. The children wishes would be for supervised contact. I have protected them for 3 years while this has all been going on, and given them as stable life as much as I possibly can. I have lots of support from close family, and have a safety plan and have completed courses also.
OH will do a course when released I presume, as with Covid restrictions nothing could be done while inside.
The first assessment went very well just hoping this one does too. Trying to stay strong but worried as well.
blue x
Hi Lee
Thank you so much for replying at such a late hour. your words have made me feel so much better and confident. I have made a plan myself with your advise from a few months back, and adapted it to my own circumstances. My OH is very remorseful about the whole situation and what he has done. He will do any courses he can, he wants to be a better person and will do anything he can possible.
blue x
Thank you so much for replying at such a late hour. your words have made me feel so much better and confident. I have made a plan myself with your advise from a few months back, and adapted it to my own circumstances. My OH is very remorseful about the whole situation and what he has done. He will do any courses he can, he wants to be a better person and will do anything he can possible.
blue x
Hi Lee
Thank you so much for replying at such a late hour. your words have made me feel so much better and confident. I have made a plan myself with your advise from a few months back, and adapted it to my own circumstances. My OH is very remorseful about the whole situation and what he has done. He will do any courses he can, he wants to be a better person and will do anything he can possible.
blue x
Thank you so much for replying at such a late hour. your words have made me feel so much better and confident. I have made a plan myself with your advise from a few months back, and adapted it to my own circumstances. My OH is very remorseful about the whole situation and what he has done. He will do any courses he can, he wants to be a better person and will do anything he can possible.
blue x
Hi Lee
It's a bit of a long story but, yes he did the Lucy faithful course before sentencing. He got help from the GP was put on the list for counselling and started medication. He had a decent solicitor at this point, which he payed lots of money for, and they worked with him and got character witnesses and lots of mitigating circumstances. Including that he had been exposed to porn at a very young age and was severely depressed at work because of abuse from his boss. He was in and out of hospital with mental health issues throughout the investigation which went on for nearly 3 years.
When he was sent the charges the solicitor told him he wanted more money 10000 to be in court with him and put all the evidence forward. We could not afford it. So he has a duty solicitor who had no paperwork said all the information that had been gathered was useless now and my OH totally gave up fighting. He pleaded guilty out of fear.
He stood in crown court and heard evidence he'd never seen of heard of before, things he had not been charged with were read out. He was in total shock and then sent down.
He has received not help in prison at all. In 9 months he has seen his personal officer once and spoke to his probation officer once. He has no idea if he's on an SHPO but has signed the register after his plea. He's due out next week.
so to say we have all been let down is an understatement. It's been terrible.
sorry to make this such a long reply.
Blue x
It's a bit of a long story but, yes he did the Lucy faithful course before sentencing. He got help from the GP was put on the list for counselling and started medication. He had a decent solicitor at this point, which he payed lots of money for, and they worked with him and got character witnesses and lots of mitigating circumstances. Including that he had been exposed to porn at a very young age and was severely depressed at work because of abuse from his boss. He was in and out of hospital with mental health issues throughout the investigation which went on for nearly 3 years.
When he was sent the charges the solicitor told him he wanted more money 10000 to be in court with him and put all the evidence forward. We could not afford it. So he has a duty solicitor who had no paperwork said all the information that had been gathered was useless now and my OH totally gave up fighting. He pleaded guilty out of fear.
He stood in crown court and heard evidence he'd never seen of heard of before, things he had not been charged with were read out. He was in total shock and then sent down.
He has received not help in prison at all. In 9 months he has seen his personal officer once and spoke to his probation officer once. He has no idea if he's on an SHPO but has signed the register after his plea. He's due out next week.
so to say we have all been let down is an understatement. It's been terrible.
sorry to make this such a long reply.
Blue x
Hi Lee. thank you for listening to me, and taking the time to reply.
its been a total sham! All of it from start to finish. All I've ever wanted was fairness. My husband should of been charged but justly and fairly and this didn't happen and the police wrote his charges in black and white and he pleaded guilty because he couldn't take anymore, but in court they brought up other offences which were not what he pleaded guilty to. How is that right? I suppose now though we have to get on with our lives the best we can and he can make himself a better person. He was addicted to porn and got sent some illegal images through a messenger. He will get help when he's out. I will do my upmost to protect the children as I have for years and show that to SS.
blue x
its been a total sham! All of it from start to finish. All I've ever wanted was fairness. My husband should of been charged but justly and fairly and this didn't happen and the police wrote his charges in black and white and he pleaded guilty because he couldn't take anymore, but in court they brought up other offences which were not what he pleaded guilty to. How is that right? I suppose now though we have to get on with our lives the best we can and he can make himself a better person. He was addicted to porn and got sent some illegal images through a messenger. He will get help when he's out. I will do my upmost to protect the children as I have for years and show that to SS.
blue x
Hi Lee
are they! well that makes sense. Made it even worse that my brother and his girl friend who has a vendetta against us all were the only people present in the court room. So they heard it all, which then made him then post it everywhere on social media. He even posted a video of him being transported to prison.
Thank you for the advise, I will definitely get on to the safer living foundation. He does need help dealing with everything. It sounds really good.
I do hope things are going well with you and your family, feel very selfish going on about myself. I feel very thankful to you ladies being here when you also have all your own issues to deal with too.
many thanks
blue x
are they! well that makes sense. Made it even worse that my brother and his girl friend who has a vendetta against us all were the only people present in the court room. So they heard it all, which then made him then post it everywhere on social media. He even posted a video of him being transported to prison.
Thank you for the advise, I will definitely get on to the safer living foundation. He does need help dealing with everything. It sounds really good.
I do hope things are going well with you and your family, feel very selfish going on about myself. I feel very thankful to you ladies being here when you also have all your own issues to deal with too.
many thanks
blue x
Hi Lee
Im glad all is calm with you at the moment, but sorry you still have a battle to fight. You are very strong though, and you sure know your stuff, so I am sure it will all work out. How long had the journey been for you all?
Blue Xx
Im glad all is calm with you at the moment, but sorry you still have a battle to fight. You are very strong though, and you sure know your stuff, so I am sure it will all work out. How long had the journey been for you all?
Blue Xx
Hi Lee
its been a long journey for you all bless you. Gosh I hope you are successful with your next battle. It's lovely you have your husband back at home. In the future my husband will be back with me, maybe not while our children are under 18 but definitely in the future.
We've had a few spanner's thrown in the works at the mo. The social worker knew the boys were desperate to see their dad and she said she could come out the next day to see us!. Unfortunately my eldest son tested positive for Covid, so they've move it till after his isolation period. She said she'd get information together in the meanwhile and she would speak to my husband, who is out very very soon. So things are moving. Do you know what kind of info she will gather? Is it school stuff? and medical? My mum and dad are a huge support to me and the boys spend lots of time with them. Should I mention this to the Social worker? Would she talk to them too?
blue xx
its been a long journey for you all bless you. Gosh I hope you are successful with your next battle. It's lovely you have your husband back at home. In the future my husband will be back with me, maybe not while our children are under 18 but definitely in the future.
We've had a few spanner's thrown in the works at the mo. The social worker knew the boys were desperate to see their dad and she said she could come out the next day to see us!. Unfortunately my eldest son tested positive for Covid, so they've move it till after his isolation period. She said she'd get information together in the meanwhile and she would speak to my husband, who is out very very soon. So things are moving. Do you know what kind of info she will gather? Is it school stuff? and medical? My mum and dad are a huge support to me and the boys spend lots of time with them. Should I mention this to the Social worker? Would she talk to them too?
blue xx
Lee he was convicted of 24 IOC's all cats mostly c and some prohibited. Also 1 conversation with a undercover PO where he encouraged him to watch a porno knowing a child was in the room.
We have no idea about an SHPO it has not been talked about at all by anyone, and my Husband cant remember what they said in court because he was in shock. My parents are supportive of me and the children and what we want. They are are very angry with my husband, but forgiving.
when the SW comes to see us I will make sure I tell them about my mum and dads support and my mum in law too.
blue x
We have no idea about an SHPO it has not been talked about at all by anyone, and my Husband cant remember what they said in court because he was in shock. My parents are supportive of me and the children and what we want. They are are very angry with my husband, but forgiving.
when the SW comes to see us I will make sure I tell them about my mum and dads support and my mum in law too.
blue x
Hi Lee, hope you're having a good morning.
I think it was a very harsh sentence and a shock to us all. I don't think I'll ever forget the sounds of my children screaming that day he was in court.
I don't have permission to speak to his solicitor. I did with his first solicitor, but because he got a duty solicitor when he put in his Plea. I don't even know who represented him. My husband is hoping that they will tell him about the SHPO when he leaves custody and if not, and I'm sure probation will be in touch when he's home. Probation were very positive and have said they don't see a problem and supervised contact by me should be fine, we just need an assessment first. So I'm taking that as a positive, as surely they must know what's on the SHPO?. He has to sign the register for 10 years does the SHPO normally run alongside that? My children will both be 18 beforw then anyway.
blue xx
I think it was a very harsh sentence and a shock to us all. I don't think I'll ever forget the sounds of my children screaming that day he was in court.
I don't have permission to speak to his solicitor. I did with his first solicitor, but because he got a duty solicitor when he put in his Plea. I don't even know who represented him. My husband is hoping that they will tell him about the SHPO when he leaves custody and if not, and I'm sure probation will be in touch when he's home. Probation were very positive and have said they don't see a problem and supervised contact by me should be fine, we just need an assessment first. So I'm taking that as a positive, as surely they must know what's on the SHPO?. He has to sign the register for 10 years does the SHPO normally run alongside that? My children will both be 18 beforw then anyway.
blue xx
Thank you so much Lee I will get onto that today, I have a few days to get things together now. Xx
Hi Lee hope you've had a good day.
Thought I'd catch up a bit. Really good day here. He's out! What a relief. We have a copy of the SHPO and it stated pretty much exactly what you said. His License is a a little different but he's not on it for long, and it still says about supervised contact after SS assessment but age is 18 instead of 16 which is on the SHPO. So the next stage starts, and the children are so looking forward to seeing their dad again after such a long time. They can't wait for the SW to come and see us...What a day! Emotions were so high. I'm glad that stage is over.
blue xx
Thought I'd catch up a bit. Really good day here. He's out! What a relief. We have a copy of the SHPO and it stated pretty much exactly what you said. His License is a a little different but he's not on it for long, and it still says about supervised contact after SS assessment but age is 18 instead of 16 which is on the SHPO. So the next stage starts, and the children are so looking forward to seeing their dad again after such a long time. They can't wait for the SW to come and see us...What a day! Emotions were so high. I'm glad that stage is over.
blue xx