Family and Friends Forum

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 6:21amReport post

Sure I'm not the only one but although I like to look at happy times through photographs, I touch the picture and say "why" out loud. It just seems so crazy how a once happy family are now forced into awkwardness and taboo areas, relationships that will never be the same.....

I watch happy family videos which I thought were beautiful but now I'm looking at every glance, every gesture. Can I see any signs - was it happening then? Do you close your eyes and try to place yourself back in time?


it really is a painful journey which you carnt possibly understand it until your in it. I don't know - perhaps my Saturday has kicked off to a bad start...... (sigh)

Edited Sat October 9, 2021 6:55am

Melody

Member since
March 2020

26 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 7:37amReport post

I was considering posting something similar. I look back through photos of him with our son he was newborn, knowing he was looking at images of child abuse in the spare room while I sat up through long nights with a crying baby.... thinking I was giving him space to sleep for work but instead allowing him to view this awful stuff and chat to other women online. It hurts so much.



There are so few photos of me with my baby, mainly of him....photos that I should look at and feel love, I look at and feel sick. The few photos I have of the three of us just symbolise lies. The knock was over 2 years ago, we're seperated and it still hurts like anything. We're amicable and I support him and am his friend but....the pain runs so deep , knowing he was looking for years before he was caught :(



Memories, precious memories...all tainted. My son's entire babyhood feels like a lie, and he deserved better . So did I!



You are not alone <3

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 8:14amReport post

I always knew there was a sexuality issue. My boy was always awkward with adults never formed a relationship and spent so much time alone - not wanting to socialise.

If only he'd opened up - before he got in this mess - but then again do you openly discuss your sexuality with your parents/family.

My goodness your story sounds horrendous, big big hug x

Edited Sat October 9, 2021 8:19am

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 9:50amReport post

Bless you 'lost' a good rant often makes you feel better plus the coffee, of course.

Ithink in my boys' case - of course he knew it was wrong and just prayed he wouldn't get caught. I do feel he doesn't realise how so many people are/have suffered by what he's done.

I feel in limbo as he got a long prison sentence, we've been able to rebuild to a degree but fear it'll all be raked up again when he is released. But I try hard to put that bit to the back of my mind..... I have learnt in this journey it's no good for your mental health to view it as a complete picture - if you know what I mean.

Have a good day with a few more coffees!!

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 10:12amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sat October 9, 2021 10:12am

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 10:12amReport post

Thanks my love. I get comfort he is really trying hard to rebuild his life too. Just wish the prison system would speed up / like out here the after effects of Covid of causing havoc....

Edited Sat October 9, 2021 10:15am

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 10:16amReport post

Hate and feel angry with what he's done but I love him dearly.... no one, whatever their opinion will change that...

Edited Sat October 9, 2021 10:20am

Carmela

Member since
November 2020

87 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 11:22amReport post

What keeps getting me through it is I can look at it 2 ways

1. he's a bad person

2. he's a good person who's done a bad thing

I always feel number 2 represents the person he is.

And I try not to think of when he gets out and what will happen and all that just take it day by day and enjoy the little things in life. Xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 12:45pmReport post

Thanks lovely ladies x one thing I have said if he ever does anything like this again - that's it I've done and he IS on his own!!!!!

Edited Sat October 9, 2021 12:53pm

Cloud

Member since
May 2021

153 posts

Posted Sat October 9, 2021 12:50pmReport post

Melody - I could have written your post. So similar. So so sad xx

JSR74

Member since
September 2021

21 posts

Posted Thu October 14, 2021 12:34pmReport post

My partner's son posted family photos of our daughter online, alongside the lowest, most horrific things he claimed he wanted to do to her (and one act he claimed to have done). I know one of the photos he used, but not the others. I can't even clean the house without breaking down - every photo of my little girl breaks my heart. Every family photo kills me.

Sending hugs xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Thu October 14, 2021 12:44pmReport post

Hug sent back x