CS and getting my head around it
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Hey all,
I wonder if you can help. I had a SW come and interview me on Friday. My boyfriend (we only started a relationship at the beginning of the summer, he was arrested mid summer, we don't live together) has been arrested for Cat C images. No video, sharing, creation or communication and no contact. I was originally told I was going to have an assessment that would take around 8 weeks. She said on Friday she was going to put me on long term. I asked her why, and she said because we may live together. I told her I'd be an idiot to do anything like that until the charges and court outcome. We have no plans to live together.
I'm feeling very shaken, and the more I think about it the more I'm panicking.
I have a safety plan in place I have done myself as they took 5 weeks to even call me after the meeting with the police.
I also found out a detail from my first meeting was misinterpreted. I've told this woman as much. It meant something completely different to what I said.
so this long term plan. What even is it? A basic question I should have asked but I think I was so blindsided by it all. Should I be worried? It sounds disproportionate to me as it feels like she's basing it on nothing apart from what she knows about the images that she won't tell me (he has told me and we've done nothing but talk about this horrendous thing since), tells me he is a risk of contact offending when she's not even talked to him, and has said I should have left him and is surprised I haven't. She wants access to my medical records to see if I am of sound enough mind to make judgements on the safe care of my daughter. I have a flipping safety plan in place that I did off my own back for gods sake!!
im feeling very defensive and I know I have to be careful how I am around CS.
Any thoughts?
I wonder if you can help. I had a SW come and interview me on Friday. My boyfriend (we only started a relationship at the beginning of the summer, he was arrested mid summer, we don't live together) has been arrested for Cat C images. No video, sharing, creation or communication and no contact. I was originally told I was going to have an assessment that would take around 8 weeks. She said on Friday she was going to put me on long term. I asked her why, and she said because we may live together. I told her I'd be an idiot to do anything like that until the charges and court outcome. We have no plans to live together.
I'm feeling very shaken, and the more I think about it the more I'm panicking.
I have a safety plan in place I have done myself as they took 5 weeks to even call me after the meeting with the police.
I also found out a detail from my first meeting was misinterpreted. I've told this woman as much. It meant something completely different to what I said.
so this long term plan. What even is it? A basic question I should have asked but I think I was so blindsided by it all. Should I be worried? It sounds disproportionate to me as it feels like she's basing it on nothing apart from what she knows about the images that she won't tell me (he has told me and we've done nothing but talk about this horrendous thing since), tells me he is a risk of contact offending when she's not even talked to him, and has said I should have left him and is surprised I haven't. She wants access to my medical records to see if I am of sound enough mind to make judgements on the safe care of my daughter. I have a flipping safety plan in place that I did off my own back for gods sake!!
im feeling very defensive and I know I have to be careful how I am around CS.
Any thoughts?
Hello Bea,
Thank you for reaching out for some support and advice from the Family and Friends Forum. We have noticed that this post has not yet received a response from other forum users. It can be a really huge shock to find out that a loved one has been engaging in these behaviours and a lot to cope with. Social Services has an obligation to ensure that your child is safe, however, we do recognise that going through the journey with social services is not always easy and can be confusing when they use unfamiliar terminology such as “long term” without explaining what this means for you and your child. I would encourage you to speak with your social worker to ask for some clarification on what a long-term plan will mean for you and your family.
I would like to say that you have done an incredible job by creating a family safety plan independently in preparation for the social services visit, this is very proactive of you.
I can see that you are in a difficult situation and that there is a mixture of confusing feelings that you are trying to understand and cope with at the moment. I would like to strongly suggest that you call our helpline (if you haven’t done so already) so that you can receive some tailored, individualised support from one of our experienced advisors. Our Stop It Now! helpline is confidential and anonymous (0808 1000 900).
I hope that, in the meantime, you receive some replies form other forum users?soon.
I hope this has been helpful.
Take care,
Lucy
Thank you for reaching out for some support and advice from the Family and Friends Forum. We have noticed that this post has not yet received a response from other forum users. It can be a really huge shock to find out that a loved one has been engaging in these behaviours and a lot to cope with. Social Services has an obligation to ensure that your child is safe, however, we do recognise that going through the journey with social services is not always easy and can be confusing when they use unfamiliar terminology such as “long term” without explaining what this means for you and your child. I would encourage you to speak with your social worker to ask for some clarification on what a long-term plan will mean for you and your family.
I would like to say that you have done an incredible job by creating a family safety plan independently in preparation for the social services visit, this is very proactive of you.
I can see that you are in a difficult situation and that there is a mixture of confusing feelings that you are trying to understand and cope with at the moment. I would like to strongly suggest that you call our helpline (if you haven’t done so already) so that you can receive some tailored, individualised support from one of our experienced advisors. Our Stop It Now! helpline is confidential and anonymous (0808 1000 900).
I hope that, in the meantime, you receive some replies form other forum users?soon.
I hope this has been helpful.
Take care,
Lucy