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Lonely, numb, don't know how to move on

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Lauraa163

Member since
October 2021

1 post

Posted Wed October 13, 2021 10:52pmReport post

Hi I'm new to the forum. I guess I'm just after some help and support... my dad was my world - my gig buddy, my guitar buddy, my rugby buddy. I'm really close with my parents. My dad was recently released from prison after serving 9 months for indecent images (second offence). He was arrested at work in front of all his mates. It was in the local paper/on social media so while he was inside, my mum and I had to suffer the torment from people. The looks, the comments. The family disowned us. My mum had to sell up and come live with me in fear. Neighbours now blank me. So have a few of my friends. I feel I've lost everything. I feel like I can't live my life because I'm constantly thinking about what people think of me. I still shy away from colleagues. We were offered no support by police or probation. I love my dad but I absolutely despise him for what he's become, for what he's done and what he's put us through. A porn addiction that spiralled. He was attending a support group 6 months prior to his arrest. He was trying to get help. He'll never be able to visit my house again though and we'll never be able to do normal family things in the area. Parents have had to move away. I feel lonely and isolated. I'm struggling to understand how I feel - I hate him but he's also done his time and has chatted to me about the way he's changed and will be the dad he should've been. My head is so messed up. I wish I could walk away from it all but my parents have always been my best friends too. I've really struggled with it all. Any help and advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Grace Hush

Member since
August 2021

145 posts

Posted Thu October 14, 2021 10:10amReport post

I wish I could give you a magic fix. Simply being able to vent in this forum may give you the release you didn't know you needed.

There's no judgement here and sadly everyone has been in the same or similar positions with someone they love.

I completely understand and relate to what you're saying and it is so very very hard to not only see, but to suffer from, the terrible actions of someone you love so deeply.

Recovering from a trauma such as this is very individual, in general do your very best to look after yourself, counselling may help or self care activities, just taking half hour for yourself and all those thing.

Looking back over old posts may well help, I found that very therapeutic as well as informative.

Sending love x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Thu October 14, 2021 11:48amReport post

I'm sending you a big hug xxxx bless you..... we are here for you.

JSR74

Member since
September 2021

21 posts

Posted Thu October 14, 2021 11:54amReport post

Sending hugs and love. Be kind to yourself xxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2547 posts

Posted Thu October 14, 2021 12:08pmReport post

It's very hard when someone you love causes so much devastation to so many people. You'll read on here so many times it's having to deal with SO many different emotions.... Hate, love, betrayal, loss, disgust, fear, anxiety, sadness, bereavement, frustration, shame, guilt, apprehension, despair, confusion, horror, frustration, loneliness, contempt, resentment - to name a few!

Then there's the physical pain. We've all been there and your definitely not alone...

Edited Thu October 14, 2021 12:32pm