Did u or didn’t u allow supervised contact? What was the releasing for ur choice u made?
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We are allowed supervised contact now and I was going to allow it for my youngest as they are to young to understand just now and make the decision for themselves. My oldest child (not his biological child) has said they don't want anything to do with my ex nor should our youngest. A couple of others family and friends have viewed their opinions on the subject but want advice from yourselves who have been there and done it. Thanks x
Hi Rusty123
I hope things have been going better for you after your tough time with SS before.
That's great you are allowed to make the decision but it is a lot of responsibility deciding. It took me a few months to decide to go through the assessment process. My reasons were based on what I felt was best for the children. I didn't want to turn their father into a mystery figure which I felt would inevitably lead to drama later in life. I decided that instead providing supervised contact would mean that I'd know they were always with another adult and they could still have some time with him.
It is not easy to do it (and despite me doing it for the kids and him he's taken to just pretending I'm not there during visits which feels rough). But when they're available I'm increasingly letting the grandparents supervise (they've spoken to SS).
The kids enjoy seeing him. I'm keeping an eye on them emotionally as they do tend to be more emotional after visits, but then again they are preschoolers so can have meltdowns for many reasons.
I've rambled sorry. Wishing you the best with your decision. It is a hard one xx
I hope things have been going better for you after your tough time with SS before.
That's great you are allowed to make the decision but it is a lot of responsibility deciding. It took me a few months to decide to go through the assessment process. My reasons were based on what I felt was best for the children. I didn't want to turn their father into a mystery figure which I felt would inevitably lead to drama later in life. I decided that instead providing supervised contact would mean that I'd know they were always with another adult and they could still have some time with him.
It is not easy to do it (and despite me doing it for the kids and him he's taken to just pretending I'm not there during visits which feels rough). But when they're available I'm increasingly letting the grandparents supervise (they've spoken to SS).
The kids enjoy seeing him. I'm keeping an eye on them emotionally as they do tend to be more emotional after visits, but then again they are preschoolers so can have meltdowns for many reasons.
I've rambled sorry. Wishing you the best with your decision. It is a hard one xx
Thank you cloud
we have to go through assessments before the visits. I won't be there so his parents will supervise.
can I ask cloud are u and ur partner now separated and did it happen before or after the knock?
thanks again x
we have to go through assessments before the visits. I won't be there so his parents will supervise.
can I ask cloud are u and ur partner now separated and did it happen before or after the knock?
thanks again x
Separated as of the day of the knock x
Thank you cloud.
I have also been separated since the knock. I've been given more support and understanding from friends and family who know about the situation I'm in. I feel if I'd decided to stick by him then I wouldn't have received as much.
thank you again x
I have also been separated since the knock. I've been given more support and understanding from friends and family who know about the situation I'm in. I feel if I'd decided to stick by him then I wouldn't have received as much.
thank you again x
It's a hard one we separated 9 years ago and I raised issues of my x's behaviour the just adault led but still it's had an emotional effect on myself, I got a phone call a year ago now and my two were 20 amd 13 oldest dosnt bother with dad but youngest went every other weekend and for tea once a fortnight and this immediately stopped police have ceased contact with me from that day as my only right is because of my youngest and if he is only on supervised visits then I have no rights to know what's going on, SS we're fine with supervised visits but I'd have to sort that out! So I went down the rout of telling the x he would have to sort the visits with SS or a family member haven't to add he hasn't and my oldest wouldn't sit in either. My youngest messages him and talks to him that way and that's it. It's not been easy to say the least my youngest took it badly to the point where I had to ask for help of his school as he also suffered bullying at school and what with Covid as well. Do I regret it no I don't I reported my concerns to the family courts 9 years ago and it was dismissed. I've finally got my youngest to be happy again and my x has just messaged them to say he's pushing for him to have contact at his house again isn't on!
it isn't easy but you have to go with what you feel is right, what you can deal with and keep to your word.
it isn't easy but you have to go with what you feel is right, what you can deal with and keep to your word.