What’s happened to my life?
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I'm day three post knock. Honestly I'm numb I hate my OH but at the same time I still love him. We have a 1year old together and I have a 9year old. The kids are taking it as bad as I have. Although at the moment all my eldest know is we gone separate ways as he lied to me.
Day 1 - the knock. Denial and blame everyone else also think I'll wake up in a moment. Complete numbness.
find out he admitted one account of watching online. Asking why he didn't know.
Day2 - telling my auntie so I could get advice. Her advice don't do anything rash with our relationship as he's still their dad.
day 3 - seeking help here.
Day 1 - the knock. Denial and blame everyone else also think I'll wake up in a moment. Complete numbness.
find out he admitted one account of watching online. Asking why he didn't know.
Day2 - telling my auntie so I could get advice. Her advice don't do anything rash with our relationship as he's still their dad.
day 3 - seeking help here.
Day 3 - the wait for my post to go online due to being a new member. The exchange of the return of his car as he was t allowed to the home address went awful. From my point of view his mum and dad took his side to protect him telling me they had turned around as they were scared my family would kick his ass. (As much as they would like to they arnt stupid enough to give him the satisfaction.
Many heated words between us.
followed by many apologies from the in laws. And I genuinely feel for them but as I said they need to have my back right now.
Day 4- on pins waiting for what's next.
Many heated words between us.
followed by many apologies from the in laws. And I genuinely feel for them but as I said they need to have my back right now.
Day 4- on pins waiting for what's next.
Hi H22,
I'm so sorry you have found yourself here. I can see you're very new to this journey and the first few days/weeks are unbelievably difficult. I do not recall most of the first month to be honest, but somehow survived! I also appreciate you haven't asked for advice but take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can and will get through this.
It is great that you've reached out for help. To me, it seems your auntie is very level-headed telling you not to do anything rash. These situations, no doubt evoke strong emotions but it is good that you feel you can trust her, and her judgments.
With regards to what will happen next, I think social services will pay you a visit within the next few days as there would have been a referral from the police. I do not have children myself so I'm unsure of the exact process but you can see previous posts were others have asked these very questions - hopefully these will help and hopefully put your mind at ease with their involvement.
I know it is easier said than done but try not to worry about the future, what ifs and whys for now. This process can be incredibly slow so focus on you and your little ones and take it day by day.
Sending a big hug! x
I'm so sorry you have found yourself here. I can see you're very new to this journey and the first few days/weeks are unbelievably difficult. I do not recall most of the first month to be honest, but somehow survived! I also appreciate you haven't asked for advice but take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can and will get through this.
It is great that you've reached out for help. To me, it seems your auntie is very level-headed telling you not to do anything rash. These situations, no doubt evoke strong emotions but it is good that you feel you can trust her, and her judgments.
With regards to what will happen next, I think social services will pay you a visit within the next few days as there would have been a referral from the police. I do not have children myself so I'm unsure of the exact process but you can see previous posts were others have asked these very questions - hopefully these will help and hopefully put your mind at ease with their involvement.
I know it is easier said than done but try not to worry about the future, what ifs and whys for now. This process can be incredibly slow so focus on you and your little ones and take it day by day.
Sending a big hug! x
Hi,
First few days, weeks are extremally difficult. I am almost 2 weeks after the knock, and still confused. Still blocking that.
What helped me was to seek help imidiatelly. Starting off reading this forum, calling helpline, searching online. What can I do to help my husband, our baby (also 1yo), me. I focused all of my energy on that. My husband was really low, yesterday he was lowest from when it happened, called me 3am that he wants to die. We found him a room, he moves in today, looking for courses and therapies he can do to understand and repair what he has done. And I know he has done a lot.
Take day after day, it really helps. Call helpline just to talk or listen them to talk.
Social services, hard to say when they will contact you, I am still waiting on phone call, hopefully soon. Try to prepare yourself for that visit, there is a lot of useful information here from other experiences. I am still waiting on my.
If you have support in your family, use it. There is nothing worst than being all alone in this as I am. That's why helpline is really helpful, for my husband as well.
It will take long time, months probably, before you hear anything. It is time that I use for education - for myself, my husband. We need to protect our daughter. You have 2 children, I feel for you, must be really difficult, especially with older one, who understand what is going on.
I wish I could comfort you in any way, but we all go through this and there are happy endings. That what gives me hope. Other peoples stories here, they do end well.
Take care of yourself as much as you can xx
First few days, weeks are extremally difficult. I am almost 2 weeks after the knock, and still confused. Still blocking that.
What helped me was to seek help imidiatelly. Starting off reading this forum, calling helpline, searching online. What can I do to help my husband, our baby (also 1yo), me. I focused all of my energy on that. My husband was really low, yesterday he was lowest from when it happened, called me 3am that he wants to die. We found him a room, he moves in today, looking for courses and therapies he can do to understand and repair what he has done. And I know he has done a lot.
Take day after day, it really helps. Call helpline just to talk or listen them to talk.
Social services, hard to say when they will contact you, I am still waiting on phone call, hopefully soon. Try to prepare yourself for that visit, there is a lot of useful information here from other experiences. I am still waiting on my.
If you have support in your family, use it. There is nothing worst than being all alone in this as I am. That's why helpline is really helpful, for my husband as well.
It will take long time, months probably, before you hear anything. It is time that I use for education - for myself, my husband. We need to protect our daughter. You have 2 children, I feel for you, must be really difficult, especially with older one, who understand what is going on.
I wish I could comfort you in any way, but we all go through this and there are happy endings. That what gives me hope. Other peoples stories here, they do end well.
Take care of yourself as much as you can xx
Thanks for the support all, the wait for SS. I'm going to keep reading up and getting advice. Thanks.
So on day 4 I rang the OIC to ask for a time frame for SS. I was told I can ring them to ask what they will expect from me. I instantly got a returned call from OIC saying that SS was writing to me but I could still call them. So I did to speak with the duty SW she confirmed they were writing to me. The OIC told me to take it as a complement of myself. Has anyone els had this in the past I'm still waiting on the letter though.
Still waiting on SS letter.