Family and Friends Forum

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Mon October 25, 2021 10:24amReport post

I believe I need to speak to someone impartial to help me process what has happened and where I go from here.

although my and his family are being very supportive they both obviously have more investment in either me or him so find I edit my thoughts and feelings in some part when speaking to either side.

just looking for advice on where to look for counselling? I have google searched and obviously lots of people locally but I don't know how I choose or if they would be right for my situation

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Mon October 25, 2021 10:36amReport post

Thanks Lee will try there

Judith

Member since
June 2021

195 posts

Posted Mon October 25, 2021 10:52amReport post

Hi

As you have discovered you can quite easily look up counsellors in your local area. Many counsellors and therapists have taken to video sessions ( Zoom etc) but so much of our communication is non verbal that personally I would prefer face to face. You should be looking for a counsellor who can demonstrate their credentials and membership of a relevant professional body so you know they meet certain core standards including ethical practice. In the blurb attached to their profile they will say how long they have been practising and which fields they may specialise in. However there are other factors you may like to consider eg, male or female, which come down to personal preference.

Finally, how do you know you'd find them easy to discuss your highly personal feelings with? That comes down to a bit of a test drive. Any decent counsellor or therapist would be willing to have a brief chat on the phone about their experience and any areas of special interest. And it gives you the chance to ask them questions directly and to determine whether they feel a good fit for you. And of course, if you have an initial session with a counsellor and don't feel comfortable with them then you can look again with more experience under your belt.

Stop It Now has a list of specialists but from what you wrote it sounded more like you are looking for an impartial sounding board and someone who can help you clarify your own thoughts and support you to make your own decisions. Theoretically any competent, person centred, counsellor should be able to help you with this.

Hope this is useful. Best wishes.

Edited Mon October 25, 2021 10:53am

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Mon October 25, 2021 11:54amReport post

Thanks Judith, yes I think I need someone I can speak to you about all my thoughts and how to deal with them/ the future

although I don't think it will be easy to speak to a stranger I also find I censor myself when speaking to my family (if we stay together I don't want them to resent him) and the same with his family (it's their Son so not sure they want to hear how I feel about him sometimes and feel they are dealing with enough stress without adding mine)

will look into potential counsellors in more depth this week and see how I feel about contacting