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Going out of my mind

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Bob

Member since
September 2021

36 posts

Posted Mon October 25, 2021 4:07pmReport post

my husband had a knock over 6 weeks ago for having one conversation with a police decoy, never arranged to meet them, he has 1 video that was sent but he deleted it and one photo sent and deleted, he had to go back to the police station to answer bail but they would not see him??? Our solicitor can’t do anything as they were not in the first interview.

just don’t know what to do or where to get help, my husband is just a wreck, we have told our family and children and told them the worst scenario incase it happens, they have taken his phone and laptop just wish it was all over.

When he asked about his work the police said they have not charged him with anything so he doesn’t have to tell them yet if he gets charged he will have to tell them and lose his job then god knows what we are going to do.

We don’t know if his bail has been extended or if it’s Rui we are just going out of our heads. He has started counciling and getting help do we need to get references off people please help.

SS are involved but said they are happy with everything that has been put into place , which means he is not allowed to sleep at home. And said they are happy with everything else.

We are also waiting to find out when he has to go into hospital as he has got his results back and they are not good that doesn’t help as he has problems with blood clots and shadows in his spine so sleeping in the car won’t be helping him

Edited Mon October 25, 2021 4:27pm

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2483 posts

Posted Tue October 26, 2021 1:40amReport post

Hi Bob, my heart goes out to you it is one hell of a nightmare at the start of this journey. Fortunately my sons case was done and dusted within a few months but by what I'm reading on the forum nowadays it's a longer process.

I carnt add much more to lee's comment only to say we are here for you x

Edited Tue October 26, 2021 1:42am

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

874 posts

Posted Tue October 26, 2021 11:15amReport post

Sorry, just wanted to ask is it normal that the police would say not to tell work as you hadn't been charged? The police called my partner's place of work on the same day they arrested him to tell them, he doesn't work with children. He was RUI.

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

874 posts

Posted Tue October 26, 2021 12:48pmReport post

My goodness, that's awful! The officers were so smug in telling his work, he obviously got suspended but luckily found work very soon after. It doesn't make any sense why they would be so quick to stop someone from having an income especially if other officers go with the "innocent until guilty". I highly doubt the majority of them take that approach. Even the ones who are "guilty", doesn't make them bad people or deserving of having their entire lives ruined. They really tried to persuade me to kick him out and made him lose his job, horrible people! Why would they not want someone to be supported? Makes no sense. As stated in a previous thread, when it comes to the nature of these kind of offences the chance of further offending decreases when they have a support network.

Bob

Member since
September 2021

36 posts

Posted Tue October 26, 2021 2:40pmReport post

Hi they told him because he has not been charged with anything and it was ongoing that he didn’t need to inform them he drives wagons so always on his own not working with children

Pregnantandscared

Member since
April 2021

140 posts

Posted Tue October 26, 2021 8:33pmReport post

Hey, on the work front - he should only need to tell his work if he contractually has to, so I would double check this. The police in our case have said they won't contact my partner's work (he doesn't work with children or vulnerable people), and we will only disclose once convicted as that's what his contract states.



I know it seems never ending right now but it WILL get better x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2483 posts

Posted Tue October 26, 2021 8:58pmReport post

It is awful to lose your jobs like that. These crimes have dire consequences for innocent family members too which I don't think a lot of people realise.