I’m lying to everyone
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My partner was going into adult chat rooms and was caught talking to a vigilante decoy and then arrested. There were no pictures exchanged and no arrangement to meet. He’s still on bail at the moment. Most of his family and close friends are being supportive.
We live in different areas so at the moment, as far as I know, no one where I live is aware of what’s going on - only the people I have told. The family and friends that do know just assume I’ve left him. Why would I stay with someone who’s been going into adult chat rooms and talking to other women, not to mention someone he knew was underage? There's obviously something wrong with him. You need to move on.
I get that, I really do. I’d probably have said the same before all this.
But I’ve not left him. Im lying to everyone pretending that I have but we speak all the time and I’ve travelled to see him on several occasions. I see his remorse and his guilt but I still see the man he is and I still love him.
I’m not sure where we will end up on this horrible journey but right now, this is where I am. Lying to those who don’t know and lying to those who do. I can’t seem to see a way to be honest to my loved ones as I know no one will understand or support me in the choice I've made.
Any one else feel the same?
We live in different areas so at the moment, as far as I know, no one where I live is aware of what’s going on - only the people I have told. The family and friends that do know just assume I’ve left him. Why would I stay with someone who’s been going into adult chat rooms and talking to other women, not to mention someone he knew was underage? There's obviously something wrong with him. You need to move on.
I get that, I really do. I’d probably have said the same before all this.
But I’ve not left him. Im lying to everyone pretending that I have but we speak all the time and I’ve travelled to see him on several occasions. I see his remorse and his guilt but I still see the man he is and I still love him.
I’m not sure where we will end up on this horrible journey but right now, this is where I am. Lying to those who don’t know and lying to those who do. I can’t seem to see a way to be honest to my loved ones as I know no one will understand or support me in the choice I've made.
Any one else feel the same?
Hi, think it's the lying I hate most, I told my sister who has been amazing, I too live in a different area, unfortunately my daughter found out when it was in the media, she said she wouldn't ask me too choose but was concerned for me, she said she needed time to process it all, she now says she is happy for my partner to come too family things, she's very uncomfortable with the fact she knows and others people don't, I have had to lie to my friends and family about why he left his job, why I don't see his son, i just now lie without even thinking bout it, which I hate, I feel though it is unfortunately necessary to keep our new normal going, I am naturally such an honest person, like you I struggle with it, it is for the best but it really really is tough
It is horrible I agree. My life isn't exactly lies but lots of taboo areas. It's hard not being able to relax and be yourself with those you love.
I think in situations like we've found ourselves in, it's not necessarily lying, it's more like withholding the truth and it's done with the best intention and for our own peace and sanity. I've been dying to tell my Mum and my best friend but it's too delicate of a subject to trust anyone other than myself with and I can't be 100% that even if no charges are brought that they won't always think badly of my partner. I think life is too short to be miserable and if you love someone and see the good in them then it's nobody's business what they think, especially if they aren't well educated on the subject it concerns. We're all just trying to do our best and make it through life the best we can. Sending love to everyone who needs it xx
Bee444
i know exactly how your feeling. I'm still in touch with my OH, still very supportive and I hope one day we can get back to a 'normal' life but I feel that I have to lie to peopl all the time. Not my true friends but to certain people. Don't know where we go for this but I'm hoping for a positive outcome. Hope you get the same
i know exactly how your feeling. I'm still in touch with my OH, still very supportive and I hope one day we can get back to a 'normal' life but I feel that I have to lie to peopl all the time. Not my true friends but to certain people. Don't know where we go for this but I'm hoping for a positive outcome. Hope you get the same
Oh yes baffled - every word you say is so so true x well said x
Thanks so much for the replies. It's so hard, isn't it, to try and deal with everything but certainly for me, keeping as much to myself as possible is the only way. I worry about how long I'm going to have to keep it up, but try to just take every day as it comes, though the pretending is exhausting sometimes.
hugs and strength to you all!
Bee x
hugs and strength to you all!
Bee x
I think taking each day as it comes it definitely the way forward. Let the dust settle and then you can decide when the right time is to tell people you're still together. People may be funny at first when they find out but it'll only be because they care about you and want the best for you but they will get over it. Nobody knows what the future holds so enjoying each present day is what we can do and have control over.
Today will be a good day xx
Today will be a good day xx