I think my brain is about to explode!
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think NEET means person who is no longer in education and is not working or in any form of training, have seen it mentioned in a newspaper article that i have read.
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Hi so tired sorry to see you going through this, from the angle of a job, if you son is at an age where he can get a Saturday or part time job somewhere in the high street the fact he has not been charged he does not have to disclose he has been arrested or is under investigation
I have not seen your past posts as you delete them so quickly, so don't know the exact age of you son, one thing to keep in mind with all the delays you are going through, if he hits 18 and this is still with the cps he will be tried as an adult and any punishment for example time on the register and length of SHPO if given will be on adult time scales and not the time scale of a minor, and would hope your solicitor is keeping that in mind
I hope you get some answers soon
I have not seen your past posts as you delete them so quickly, so don't know the exact age of you son, one thing to keep in mind with all the delays you are going through, if he hits 18 and this is still with the cps he will be tried as an adult and any punishment for example time on the register and length of SHPO if given will be on adult time scales and not the time scale of a minor, and would hope your solicitor is keeping that in mind
I hope you get some answers soon
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So much love to you so tired.
I'm so so sorry you're not getting anywhere with any services.
I know how exhausting it is to keep fighting for your child and shocking that many services don't actually do anything to help.
I was fortunate (sort of) that my son was supported by mental health services due to a psychotic break but am unfortunate now that he is refusing all help and has spiralled into serious substance abuse.
As he is legally an adult I can do no more other than look on as he self destructs but when he was engaging, the mental health services were fantastic and very supportive of me too. Perhaps this could be a route to accessing some support.
Have you engaged with stop so and/or looked at counselling services? I believe this could be very helpful but is reliant on your son engaging. If you can help with his self esteem and working out what happened etc, hopefully health and wellbeing will improve.
Have you looked at online options for education? Or Additional Inclusion Provisions in your area? I have no idea what's available but will see if I can find anything. Are you in England?
Our case was also closed by social services. It's frustrating when you desperately want help but no one provides it. Can you access counselling for yourself? I think the need to rant is essential for me to get all my frustration, anger and sadness out. It's an awful situation and I wish I could offer a magic fix.
Just know you're not alone, and you will get through this eventually x
I'm so so sorry you're not getting anywhere with any services.
I know how exhausting it is to keep fighting for your child and shocking that many services don't actually do anything to help.
I was fortunate (sort of) that my son was supported by mental health services due to a psychotic break but am unfortunate now that he is refusing all help and has spiralled into serious substance abuse.
As he is legally an adult I can do no more other than look on as he self destructs but when he was engaging, the mental health services were fantastic and very supportive of me too. Perhaps this could be a route to accessing some support.
Have you engaged with stop so and/or looked at counselling services? I believe this could be very helpful but is reliant on your son engaging. If you can help with his self esteem and working out what happened etc, hopefully health and wellbeing will improve.
Have you looked at online options for education? Or Additional Inclusion Provisions in your area? I have no idea what's available but will see if I can find anything. Are you in England?
Our case was also closed by social services. It's frustrating when you desperately want help but no one provides it. Can you access counselling for yourself? I think the need to rant is essential for me to get all my frustration, anger and sadness out. It's an awful situation and I wish I could offer a magic fix.
Just know you're not alone, and you will get through this eventually x
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Also, could you put in a formal complaint to the CPS? Detail all the circumstances and the impact on your son, yourself and your family, citing all the points within their own policy they've failed to adhere to.
It may speed up the process as people tend to quickly rectify mistakes when they are facing formal scrutiny. Also highly recommend getting your MP involved if you've not already tried this.
As you say, policies should be followed and when they aren't, people should be held to account. They may also be able to signpost you to support regarding his education.
It may speed up the process as people tend to quickly rectify mistakes when they are facing formal scrutiny. Also highly recommend getting your MP involved if you've not already tried this.
As you say, policies should be followed and when they aren't, people should be held to account. They may also be able to signpost you to support regarding his education.
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Oh I'm so sorry! It is so awful and they are absolutely being failed. I wish prompt support could be offered to all young people who have accessed such material (and people of any age actually) so they can get past their issues, pay the price for their actions and then move on to become productive and happy members of society! No one wins this way and the risks of reoffending are massively exacerbated without that support.
I think we are in very similar situations.
My ex is also very unhelpful. I also worked with children but had to give up work as he was so unwell.
It's such a nightmare, I really wish I could offer you some more support.
I think we are in very similar situations.
My ex is also very unhelpful. I also worked with children but had to give up work as he was so unwell.
It's such a nightmare, I really wish I could offer you some more support.
This is the whole issue with the law in this country, how can a person that commits an offence as a child, but due to delays through no fault of there own, because it does not get to court till there 18 is then treated as an adult it's stupid and the cps don't give a dam
Agree, it's scary to bring in an MP. Mine was very supportive so it can happen but I know others haven't received that support.
You could consider bringing them in without disclosing details of the crime?
"My son is being investigated for a serious crime, whilst I understand the need to investigate and that he must face the consequences of his actions, the local services are failing to ensure his rights to education are being met. (Services) have failed to follow their own policy by (not working within designated timeframe)" etc etc
You could consider bringing them in without disclosing details of the crime?
"My son is being investigated for a serious crime, whilst I understand the need to investigate and that he must face the consequences of his actions, the local services are failing to ensure his rights to education are being met. (Services) have failed to follow their own policy by (not working within designated timeframe)" etc etc
Totally agree not alone.
My son disclosed to crimes he believed he had committed (seems that some he had and some he hadn't) under the age of 16.
He is over 18 now as he didn't confess until 17 and will he tried as an adult if the CPS press charges.
My son disclosed to crimes he believed he had committed (seems that some he had and some he hadn't) under the age of 16.
He is over 18 now as he didn't confess until 17 and will he tried as an adult if the CPS press charges.
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Big hugs xx
A good scream and cry is sometimes the best thing! Xx
A good scream and cry is sometimes the best thing! Xx
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Hi SoTired
After reading these posts I am finding it hard to come up with any new suggestions for you.
I know you have probably aready done this but have you thought about putting it in writing to all the agencies that you feel should be supporting your son - updating them about the amount of time he has been unable to access educaton/training/work the impact it is having on him etc. I am just wondering if you may get a different response from what you have so far if it is all in writing? Huge apologies for suggesting this if you have already gone down this route....
Have you tried speaking to Young Minds? It is just a thought that they may be worth speaking to, if you haven't already done so.
With reference to your son reaching 18 in about 8 months time, I am going to post some information about proposed changes to the law, but it could be a while before these come into force.
Take care
After reading these posts I am finding it hard to come up with any new suggestions for you.
I know you have probably aready done this but have you thought about putting it in writing to all the agencies that you feel should be supporting your son - updating them about the amount of time he has been unable to access educaton/training/work the impact it is having on him etc. I am just wondering if you may get a different response from what you have so far if it is all in writing? Huge apologies for suggesting this if you have already gone down this route....
Have you tried speaking to Young Minds? It is just a thought that they may be worth speaking to, if you haven't already done so.
With reference to your son reaching 18 in about 8 months time, I am going to post some information about proposed changes to the law, but it could be a while before these come into force.
Take care
Hi SoTired
We were very worried about the member of our family turning 18years of age before going to court.
We became aware of the proposed Youth Court and Sentencing Bill which had its first reading in Parliament in February 2021. The bill is proposing that children who commit crimes before they are 18 are dealt with in youth courts and receive a youth sentence even if they are over 18 by the time they reach court. We were very saddened when the bill did not progress any further in the last parliamentary session (around may time).We did speak to our local MP about this and he did say that it will be starting the process again to go through parliament sometime in the future - again probably delayed due to COVID.
The MP who is bringing this bill into parliament is Rob Butler and you can find information on this bill if you google his name and also the 'youth Court and Sentencing bill.'
It does mean eventually this law is very likely to come into effect, we just don't know when. You could approach your local MP and ask if he knows when this proposed bill will get it's first hearing in parliament again.
I hope what I have written makes sense .
We were very worried about the member of our family turning 18years of age before going to court.
We became aware of the proposed Youth Court and Sentencing Bill which had its first reading in Parliament in February 2021. The bill is proposing that children who commit crimes before they are 18 are dealt with in youth courts and receive a youth sentence even if they are over 18 by the time they reach court. We were very saddened when the bill did not progress any further in the last parliamentary session (around may time).We did speak to our local MP about this and he did say that it will be starting the process again to go through parliament sometime in the future - again probably delayed due to COVID.
The MP who is bringing this bill into parliament is Rob Butler and you can find information on this bill if you google his name and also the 'youth Court and Sentencing bill.'
It does mean eventually this law is very likely to come into effect, we just don't know when. You could approach your local MP and ask if he knows when this proposed bill will get it's first hearing in parliament again.
I hope what I have written makes sense .
I delete a lot of what I write. I also fear someone will read my posts and put two and two together. Your not the only one x
in our case it was our grownup son - living at home - that committed the crime - so know how you feel as a mum...
in our case it was our grownup son - living at home - that committed the crime - so know how you feel as a mum...
It's so hard I am also a mum with a son that is under investigation for IIOC it is such a worry every day is a struggle but have got comfort from the forum to know that we are not the only ones.