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Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Fri October 29, 2021 10:15pmReport post

Sentencing today.... 3 years custodial, lifetime on SOR and SHPO...., devastated

upsetmum

Member since
September 2021

9 posts

Posted Fri October 29, 2021 10:23pmReport post

am so sorry to hear this have been checking today to see if there is any update am shocked. Take care.

Edited Fri October 29, 2021 10:33pm

Middle

Member since
October 2021

9 posts

Posted Fri October 29, 2021 10:26pmReport post

Sorry to hear. May I ask what was he charged with. Sorry newish here.

Emma33

Member since
November 2019

23 posts

Posted Fri October 29, 2021 11:10pmReport post

Hi Mw

I don't know what to say and I've been in your shoes. My husband received a custodial sentence. It's is absolutely devastating. Tonight, tomorrow and the next few days, weeks ands months will probably be a blur. You probably don't feel like it now, but you will get through this and so will he xx

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 1:52amReport post

Hi Mw,

I am so sorry, keep in touch on here sending love and hugs to u and ur daughters xx

Blue82

Member since
January 2020

95 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 2:14amReport post

I am so so sorry to hear your news. My partner too got a custodial. It was devastating especially for the children. Please know we are here to listen and support. I know at the moment how you're feeling, but you will get through this. Sending luv and hugs

blue xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 5:55amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun October 31, 2021 1:57am

Sarah ??

Member since
January 2021

177 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 6:11amReport post

Mw,

This is dreadful news. I'm so sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts.

X

Worrieddaugther

Member since
June 2021

32 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 9:03amReport post

I am so sorry to read this news Mw heartbroken for you hope you and your daughter s are all ok xxx

Edited Sat October 30, 2021 9:03am

Anne20

Member since
March 2021

141 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 9:17amReport post

MW

I am so sorry.

Sending you a virtual hug.

Anne.

Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 10:02amReport post

Thank you ladies, as always your words of support are a comfort.

Thankfully, being the practical man he is, he wrote a list of outgoings to the account, passwords and ways I can save money! I've just got to pull my big girl pants up now and get on with my life without him. This is the first time in 30 years I'm on my own and it scares the living bejesus out of me.

My work have been so supportive and have let me have next week off, just so I can get my head around this and sort stuff out. I now have the responsibility of looking after his mother. He recently lost his dad very suddenly and unexpectedly, and being an only child he had to step in an make sure his mum was OK, that's now my job!

Thanks again you lovely people, I'm sure I'll be on this site alot in the upcoming weeks xxxx

Bee4444

Member since
October 2021

7 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 11:01amReport post

Mw

im thinking of you. You got this!
sending hugs

Bee x

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 11:47amReport post

Ahh bless you - it really does feel like a bereavement.....

keep strong.

Edited Sat October 30, 2021 11:47am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 12:49pmReport post

So sorry to read this MW sending a virtual hug xxx

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

362 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 2:05pmReport post

Hi MW

I am truely sorry to have read your news.

Thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug too.

Emmie lou

Member since
January 2021

109 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 2:52pmReport post

Hi Mw, I'm so so sorry sending all my love

Bob

Member since
September 2021

36 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 5:52pmReport post

Hi MW I’m so sorry for your news, sending hugs x

Edited Sat October 30, 2021 5:53pm

LostandConfused

Member since
July 2021

35 posts

Posted Sat October 30, 2021 10:33pmReport post

So sorry to hear this, sending big hugs to you x

Ttyh

Member since
August 2021

39 posts

Posted Sun October 31, 2021 8:47amReport post

So sorry to hear this mw

My husband got just over 3 years custodial as well, nothing prepares you for it. Everything will be a blur for a while, just take it day by day. You've got this :-) xx

hope_394

Member since
October 2021

11 posts

Posted Sun October 31, 2021 1:21pmReport post

Hi Mw,



I'm so sorry. As others have said, it won't feel like it now but it will get better with time. Sending all my love xx

7393hlb

Member since
October 2021

20 posts

Posted Sun October 31, 2021 4:38pmReport post

So sorry to hear, thinking of you all xxx

Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Sun October 31, 2021 9:02pmReport post

I've tried my best to keep busy over the weekend, but I don't think I have ever cried as much in my life. I'm still in utter shock that he received the sentence he did. It was 2 conversations over a 3 week period, both were police decoys, there was no mention of wanting to meet. I'm by no means downplaying what he has done, but 3 years in prison really doesn't seem fair when most communication offences appear to get suspended sentences.

I'm struggling at the moment seeing what my life will be in the future, I will need to sell our home and buy a smaller, more financially viable house just for me. My head is saying we absolutely need to seperate but my heart is just aching. I thought we had such a good solid marriage. I will never be able to trust my husband or in fact any other man again.

I know life will get a little easier as the months go by, but right now I'm struggling to see any happiness in my life.

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Sun October 31, 2021 9:41pmReport post

Hi Mw,

Please don't make any rash decisions regarding ur relationship just yet, u r sad and angry which is understandable, but surely if ur husband was honest with u and nothing untoward came up in sentencing then just wait, wait for ur emotions to settle, I'm sure he is a good man who just did a bad thing no one is perfect xx sending love and hugs to u lovely xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Mon November 1, 2021 4:39amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri November 19, 2021 6:46pm

Staffy

Member since
May 2019

16 posts

Posted Mon November 1, 2021 4:30pmReport post

Mw, I'm so dreadfully sorry to read your post, I can only imagine how you are feeling, my husbands offence was also a police decoy, he as you know recieved a suspended 8 month sentence for 2 yrs, it seems so unfair that offenders are judged so differently, my heart really does go out to you and your family.
Take all the support you can from those that have stood by you. I've stood by my husband and have lost some family and friends for it. So please for your own survival take what help and support you can to get you through this next stage of your life. I wish you all the best for your future and hope that in time your future gets easier xx

Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Wed November 3, 2021 8:32amReport post

Thank you ladies. He has phoned me everyday and just sounds so desperately broken and upset. I wake up every morning and cry, and go to bed every night crying. I'm due back to work tomorrow and I'm hoping that more structure in my day will help, but it's so dreadfully lonely coming back to an empty home. We have been together for 30 years so it's a massive adjustment to make. I also fear for his mother, we list his father 6 weeks ago very suddenly and unexpectedly, my husband was their only child. She has lost both men in her life, so looking after her now falls on my shoulders.

I know everyday will get just a little bit better, but right at the moment my heart aches and I just feel hollow. He has requested a visit so I'm hoping that comes through soon. I've emailed him and I'm sending a card with some photos for him today. I'm just lost and so so lonely.

It's going to be a looooooong 18 months

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Wed November 3, 2021 9:21amReport post

Hi Mw,

I'm sorry to hear u r so down, but it is expected, hopefully things will improve soon and honestly 18 months will fly by, my hubby is half way through his 2 year and we didn't really notice xx sending love and hugs to u xx keep popping on so we can help u get through these 18 months xxxxx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Wed November 3, 2021 11:22amReport post

Ahh bless you Mw / it really feels like a bereavement doesn't it? I carnt visit my lad for a number of reasons - mainly distance BUT we speak every day (sometimes twice). Prisons get post through quickly and are good with parcels/photos. U can E Mail too. All good ways of keeping his spirits up.


The biggest hug possible sent x

Edited Wed November 3, 2021 11:33am

Fatso

Member since
November 2019

107 posts

Posted Wed November 3, 2021 2:34pmReport post

It's been 11 months since my son was swntenced for the same thing,he is due home in 4 months,things will get better Mw, is has for me -in the beinging i was ready to give up but through lots of help from family i am still here, i see my son every week and speak on the phone daily. Keep strong, we are all here for you.

Flossy

Member since
February 2020

84 posts

Posted Wed November 3, 2021 11:06pmReport post

Mw my partner was also sent to prison for talking to a police decoy he also stupidly arranged to meet, my devastation started the moment I arrived home to find the police searching it. He was remanded in prison until sentencing after that. Unless you've been in that situation no one knows the heartache. We were together 8 years can't imagine how u feel after 30 years together. It's been 18 months since the knock and he's not got long left inside, time does make it slightly easier. I still talk to him over the phone and I think he was in a bad place when it happened but not sure if I could ever trust him again. I was ready for selling up and moving after the knock, and court and the worst part the media. I totally get the coming home to a empty house thing, I moved out for a while after couldn't go go back with the memories also scared neighbours finding out, but I found the courage to go back no one has ever said anything. You get used to living on your own, and being able to take charge of the tv remote. You've got to do what's right for you, just take each day at a time at first. Come on here when you need someone who understands to talk to, take care.

JillyManilly

Member since
July 2021

20 posts

Posted Thu November 4, 2021 8:26pmReport post

my ex received 27m for a communication offense.

Yes we're divorced but we have 2 children.

I have taken it very badly. I've had a nervous breakdown with the stress and the stress of counselling 2 children.

The devastation his me very hard to the point I couldn't think straight for about 4 months.

It's put massive stress on my new marriage.

I'll never forgive him but I'm moving passed it and gaining the strength to cope to deal with what's needed for the children.

Take care and give yourself time.