Feeling resentful and scared
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Just want to say thank you to everyone who posts on this forum. I've read and learnt so much in the past few months since my son had the knock for iioc and even though I've not posted until now it's made me feel less alone. Today I guess I just need to get it off my chest that I'm feeling resentful that his behaviour has so massively turned my life upside down and the negative effect its had on my mental health. I stand to lose so much and I want to help him but I'm so scared for the future, mine and his. I know very little about what he's been accused of as yet as he's had a complete breakdown and is suicidal and so all my focus is on trying to keep him afloat emotionally and not asking probing questions. I'm scared what the future holds for him as I have this awful feeling its going to be bad when it does all eventually come out due to the amount of devices they took and the small admissions he has made to me. If anyone had of asked me what he would ever be arrested for this would be the last thing I could imagine. I just don't understand why he's done this and I want to help but some days I just feel so bloody angry with him and can barely look at him. I'm having intrusive thoughts about what he's been looking at and it makes me sick and is waking me up at night. Other days all I see is that little boy I raised and I wish I could turn back the clock and steer him down a different path. I'm heartbroken for him that his life is ruined and will never be the same again. I'm also heartbroken for myself and all I'm losing so I can support him through this.
Hi Storm
After reading your first post I felt the need to reply.
If you son is unable to open up to you completely about what had been happening I hope that he is able to talk to someone about it - like LFF helpline, mental health charity, ot his GP. The member of our family was unable to talk to us for quite a few months about what had happened and a mental health charity had advised me in the early days to try and get him to talk to someone he was able to confide in about what had happened if he could.
I hope you are receiving some support too - again like LFF helpline, GP etc.
I am sure you will receive more replies soon from other members with helpful advice.
Take care of yourself, as this journey is very much long-haul.
After reading your first post I felt the need to reply.
If you son is unable to open up to you completely about what had been happening I hope that he is able to talk to someone about it - like LFF helpline, mental health charity, ot his GP. The member of our family was unable to talk to us for quite a few months about what had happened and a mental health charity had advised me in the early days to try and get him to talk to someone he was able to confide in about what had happened if he could.
I hope you are receiving some support too - again like LFF helpline, GP etc.
I am sure you will receive more replies soon from other members with helpful advice.
Take care of yourself, as this journey is very much long-haul.
Storm, I'm so sorry to read your post. I hope you have someone to talk to who can support you. I just wanted to put that feeling resentful, scared, furious and hopeless are all normal and reasonable emotions. It is so hard to go through them but you are doing okay when you feel those things. Most people on here will have felt that way, with ups and downs, since the arrest/disclosure. There is no easy way through this and feeling those things is part of processing it all. You aren't alone. You will get through xxx
Storm, my heart breaks for you and I understand totally what you're going through - my son got the knock earlier this year and it's turned our world upside down. I wish I could give you some magic answers but all I can say is just breathe, don't rush into anything, arm yourself with information and be very careful about who you tell in these early days. Like you, I'm resentful (actually that's putting it mildly, I'm really effing ANGRY!) that, after having had a loving and privileged upbringing, my son has done this to us.
Just put one foot in front of the other and come on here to chat - there is so much amazing love and supoort on this forum, and so much good information.
Sending you hugs and strength xx
Just put one foot in front of the other and come on here to chat - there is so much amazing love and supoort on this forum, and so much good information.
Sending you hugs and strength xx
Hi Storm - as we'll all say the beginning of the journey is devastating / you carnt explain what it's like until you've been through it.....
Try not to take it all on board at once especially the long term outcome. We are here for you x
Try not to take it all on board at once especially the long term outcome. We are here for you x
The great problem out there is internet porn.Because those who could do something i.e the politicians who want to pass the buck to the "social media" rather than legislate and also to block porn sites in this country and stop children accessing social media which is now known to be harmful to them in so many ways.
In my view,the ease of access to internet porn is also the cause of the disgraceful and disgusting behaviour of some men towards women,which as a man I find totally unacceptable.
The problem is that the politicians,police and legal profession do not have the guts to do something.The latter have a vested interest in not stopping viewing etc of iioc and the politicians are interested only in themselves anf getting elected next time.I refer you to the present scenes in Parliament.We need another Oliver Cromwell.
In my view,the ease of access to internet porn is also the cause of the disgraceful and disgusting behaviour of some men towards women,which as a man I find totally unacceptable.
The problem is that the politicians,police and legal profession do not have the guts to do something.The latter have a vested interest in not stopping viewing etc of iioc and the politicians are interested only in themselves anf getting elected next time.I refer you to the present scenes in Parliament.We need another Oliver Cromwell.