Sentencing - what a farce.
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Prepare for a rant. I have no idea where else I can air this!
My ex has been sentenced to 2 years (one year in prison, one on license). No one was expecting such a harsh sentence.
He'd attended the lff course, attended counselling and sessions with social care, was working, supporting me, safe contact with children etc etc. All for 18 months whilst they investigated.
Anyway. Part of the process was the pre sentence report. Here he had a two hour phone call with an unknown probation officer. The psr was not shared before court day. His barrister said he had not seen such a positive report it couldn't be faulted.
Judges turn. 'The pre sentence report was clearly scripted '. How? My ex has taken the time to understand the implications and impact of his actions. He is now well informed. How is this a negative thing? He knew what to say, yes but his actions regarding his rehabilitation demonstrated that he's remorseful. He knew what to say because he learnt about his actions.
Next comment from the judge. 'You obviously got into this by someone sending you an image so your actions are promoting and encouraging iioc. This needs to be a warning and deterrent.'
I am assuming this means. I am making an example of you. What does that achieve though? We are all aware, by the stream of new people accessing this forum, that this crime is on the increase. At what point will the police and criminal justice system realise this is not the correct way to deal with these offenders.
Next. The media. Actually this wasn't as bad as I thought. Stuff them. I've complained about the safeguarding implications for my children. They've removed the articles. Damage is done. People have already seen.
Police. I've asked for support following sentencing. From mappa. Just to see where the best charities/resources for myself and my girls. Response. See you in a year.
The only saving graces in this mess are my family and friends. They all know the story and are incredibly supportive. Oh my daughters school also. Can not fault them.
Anyway, hoping for some form.of contact today. Its almost 72 hours which was the time limit I was given for a 'reception' phonecall.
Hoping he's OK. He won't be but you know what I mean.
Onto the next battle.
Much love to all of you.
My ex has been sentenced to 2 years (one year in prison, one on license). No one was expecting such a harsh sentence.
He'd attended the lff course, attended counselling and sessions with social care, was working, supporting me, safe contact with children etc etc. All for 18 months whilst they investigated.
Anyway. Part of the process was the pre sentence report. Here he had a two hour phone call with an unknown probation officer. The psr was not shared before court day. His barrister said he had not seen such a positive report it couldn't be faulted.
Judges turn. 'The pre sentence report was clearly scripted '. How? My ex has taken the time to understand the implications and impact of his actions. He is now well informed. How is this a negative thing? He knew what to say, yes but his actions regarding his rehabilitation demonstrated that he's remorseful. He knew what to say because he learnt about his actions.
Next comment from the judge. 'You obviously got into this by someone sending you an image so your actions are promoting and encouraging iioc. This needs to be a warning and deterrent.'
I am assuming this means. I am making an example of you. What does that achieve though? We are all aware, by the stream of new people accessing this forum, that this crime is on the increase. At what point will the police and criminal justice system realise this is not the correct way to deal with these offenders.
Next. The media. Actually this wasn't as bad as I thought. Stuff them. I've complained about the safeguarding implications for my children. They've removed the articles. Damage is done. People have already seen.
Police. I've asked for support following sentencing. From mappa. Just to see where the best charities/resources for myself and my girls. Response. See you in a year.
The only saving graces in this mess are my family and friends. They all know the story and are incredibly supportive. Oh my daughters school also. Can not fault them.
Anyway, hoping for some form.of contact today. Its almost 72 hours which was the time limit I was given for a 'reception' phonecall.
Hoping he's OK. He won't be but you know what I mean.
Onto the next battle.
Much love to all of you.
I'm so sorry Sarah. Just posting this to say I hear you and totally agree.
It really is an absolute farce. Ridiculous and irresponsible!
Huge costs to the tax payer, directly negative impact on him, you and everyone around you, including innocent children, and benefits no-one in any way!
Sending love, I'm sorry he's been treated so unfairly by the judge. I hope you hear from him today and he's doing ok. Good luck with the appeal as well. X
It really is an absolute farce. Ridiculous and irresponsible!
Huge costs to the tax payer, directly negative impact on him, you and everyone around you, including innocent children, and benefits no-one in any way!
Sending love, I'm sorry he's been treated so unfairly by the judge. I hope you hear from him today and he's doing ok. Good luck with the appeal as well. X
Reading news paper reports and on here there seems to be consistency to sentences. Am so sorry you and your girls have to deal with this it appears to be the families that are left picking the pieces up.
We are only a few months in and have no experience of what post sentence will be like, but am so grateful to have found this site.
We are only a few months in and have no experience of what post sentence will be like, but am so grateful to have found this site.
It's an odd feeling post sentencing but one thing I am relieved to have back is a sense of control. I know what lay ahead now and can see the clearing.
The whole process is stressful and bears no consideration for family. I'm busying sorting practicalities for him. Money, housing etc. It'll keep me busy for a bit.
There's a better side to this and post sentencing is the start. 362 days to release. Once in a routine it'll fly. I hope.
Best wishes.
The whole process is stressful and bears no consideration for family. I'm busying sorting practicalities for him. Money, housing etc. It'll keep me busy for a bit.
There's a better side to this and post sentencing is the start. 362 days to release. Once in a routine it'll fly. I hope.
Best wishes.
That's also on my list - appeal. It's worth a shot.
Who informs the sentencing guidelines and who discusses this judges? Are they aware of the increase, surely they've noticed? They can not be arrogant enough to think they have the power to stop this increase by locking people up?!
I'd love to have a discussion with the judge. Understand their viewpoint.
Don't get me started on the wigs and the pompous attitudes abd rituals....
Faced the school run. Feels like a win today.
Who informs the sentencing guidelines and who discusses this judges? Are they aware of the increase, surely they've noticed? They can not be arrogant enough to think they have the power to stop this increase by locking people up?!
I'd love to have a discussion with the judge. Understand their viewpoint.
Don't get me started on the wigs and the pompous attitudes abd rituals....
Faced the school run. Feels like a win today.
A very interesting read. I think most of us on here do agree there has to be some sort of punishment. But aside this has to be support for these men - a chance to live comfortably with themselves in society and not beaten down with whipped up stigma and hate.
The best description was this crime is all placed under one umbrella and that just isn't the case. Each one of us tell a different story that says it all!
The best description was this crime is all placed under one umbrella and that just isn't the case. Each one of us tell a different story that says it all!
You have to ask yourself how depriving a man of his job,breaking up the family,traumatising the children in the family and giving them "ACES",incredible expense to the taxpayer in prison and benefits for the family stops this !
Compare with those dealing and supplying drugs ! Slap on the wrist,and "don't do it again"
When will those in Parliament do the right thing to really "stop it" ?
I am not holding my breath.
Compare with those dealing and supplying drugs ! Slap on the wrist,and "don't do it again"
When will those in Parliament do the right thing to really "stop it" ?
I am not holding my breath.
Hi Sarah, I am so sorry for the unjust sentencing. I was a regular user of this forum, from arrest to sentencing, but stopped regularly using it after my husband was sent to prison at the end of March this year for one conversation and arranging to meet a 13yo who was actually a vigilante. He was ‘stung’ which was live-streamed on Facebook, with dire consequences to him and me and everyone associated with him. The police did a thorough search but found no images, no other illegal conversations. They would however have discovered an escalating porn addiction including in the 3 month lead up to arrest, meetings with sex workers and women found in the adult chat room where he met the ‘13yo’. decoy. This seemed to matter not a jot to the police, nor the judge!!
My husband too had very positive probation report, from his local police liaison too, great reports from his therapist and clinical psychologist, good letters from friends and family vouching for him. He took it upon himself, from the outset to educate himself about the crime and the journey to it. He rebuilt his life in a new area, rented a flat, got work, and was getting better following a mental breakdown and was getting treatment for long term physical and mental health conditions. His legal team were expecting suspended. But he received a sentence of 28 months. So is serving 14 months in prison. This after already living a sentence through the actions of vigilantes for 18 months!!
I am also very saddened that the families financial circumstances seem to have a huge impact on the outcome of court cases. You seem to be best served if you have little or lots of money. Little means getting endless legal aid, lots means you can keep paying the legal team with not too much impact on your life. Those that fall in the middle can fall into debt. My husband spent tens of thousands from OUR pension pot and had to draw a line or else I would have had to have sold our home. He did not want me to go through any more hardship. We are both just a few years away from state pension, sadly had no children, but saved and planned for our future. He pleaded guilty as the risk of going to trial was too risky and costly, and he decided not to pursue a challenge, again due to the costs and risks. Hardly a ‘fair’ trial which is what we in our society are supposedly entitled to.
I also recognise it is not in the interest of any agency involved in this to address and adjust this very unfair process unless it is in the public interest. As any sex crime is treated as the very worst, even in prison, this is unlikely until there is more education. Our men are, on the whole, good men who have suffered or are suffering with mental health issues, so they comply easily, and want it all to be over. They are shouting out for help! So they are easy pickings for police, inflate the numbers of arrests and prison sentences, and are very easy to manage prisoners. They put a huge amount of money into our justice system and ensure that the high salaries of officials continue to be paid! All the officials who are employed to put in the work pretrial can be ignored at the end of the day if the Judge decides to! Which is often the case.
To challenge this situation means facing the public, who are fed the biased information that all these men are the very worst! The bad stories sell more papers or attract more readers and therefore advertising revenue.
I stopped using the forum regularly as I found it become all too upsetting and triggering reading others stories, particularly the with lack of predictability of these cases, showing a complete lack of care for families and friends who are so severely impacted. Also it stopped me from moving forward in my recovery. But I am committed to trying to have some influence in making changes. I am making slow progress, I have hit lots of walls, but I am at least making progress! I am now part of a support group, made up from referrals from my therapist, we talk and have actually met, I regularly meet my MP, And have had a response from a government minister, which I am furthering, I am just about to talk to someone from victim support, I have spoken to a journalist, and have now linked the journalist to my husband who has agreed to share his story. It is important that people learn how easy it is to fall into unhealthy and risky behaviour. I am in regular touch with a celebrity, I’m hopeful that an opportunity will arise for the public debate to be had! I have given feedback to my Doctor, and am writing a guidance sheet for use by all staff in the practice, as I was handled very poorly and this has been recognised, another practice in another area has expressed interest in this too. I am also in the early stages of exploring setting up a charity for partners and have found partners for this. There is a lot of practical stuff that we need help with, particularly when our partners are taken into prison unexpectedly. We need more than is available to us. Our needs are unique to us and our situations.
Most of all though I talk! Lots! I am not able to keep this life event private, vigilantes and social media put pay to that! People are curious, so I am happy to answer all their questions and challenge their assumptions. Their absolute conviction that their partner would not do this….hmm, I thought that too!!
It has taken me a long time to get to this point. I have had some very low times, I still do. But I have found a way through it. I have amazing family and friends that lift me up when I need it, I have my ‘tool kit’ that I found and built alone. Now I want to help others. There has to be a reason for going through what I did!
Sorry! This is a long post , but the last couple of posts touched me and I felt I needed to reply.
Sending you all the strength that you need. You’ve all got this, I promise! xxxx
My husband too had very positive probation report, from his local police liaison too, great reports from his therapist and clinical psychologist, good letters from friends and family vouching for him. He took it upon himself, from the outset to educate himself about the crime and the journey to it. He rebuilt his life in a new area, rented a flat, got work, and was getting better following a mental breakdown and was getting treatment for long term physical and mental health conditions. His legal team were expecting suspended. But he received a sentence of 28 months. So is serving 14 months in prison. This after already living a sentence through the actions of vigilantes for 18 months!!
I am also very saddened that the families financial circumstances seem to have a huge impact on the outcome of court cases. You seem to be best served if you have little or lots of money. Little means getting endless legal aid, lots means you can keep paying the legal team with not too much impact on your life. Those that fall in the middle can fall into debt. My husband spent tens of thousands from OUR pension pot and had to draw a line or else I would have had to have sold our home. He did not want me to go through any more hardship. We are both just a few years away from state pension, sadly had no children, but saved and planned for our future. He pleaded guilty as the risk of going to trial was too risky and costly, and he decided not to pursue a challenge, again due to the costs and risks. Hardly a ‘fair’ trial which is what we in our society are supposedly entitled to.
I also recognise it is not in the interest of any agency involved in this to address and adjust this very unfair process unless it is in the public interest. As any sex crime is treated as the very worst, even in prison, this is unlikely until there is more education. Our men are, on the whole, good men who have suffered or are suffering with mental health issues, so they comply easily, and want it all to be over. They are shouting out for help! So they are easy pickings for police, inflate the numbers of arrests and prison sentences, and are very easy to manage prisoners. They put a huge amount of money into our justice system and ensure that the high salaries of officials continue to be paid! All the officials who are employed to put in the work pretrial can be ignored at the end of the day if the Judge decides to! Which is often the case.
To challenge this situation means facing the public, who are fed the biased information that all these men are the very worst! The bad stories sell more papers or attract more readers and therefore advertising revenue.
I stopped using the forum regularly as I found it become all too upsetting and triggering reading others stories, particularly the with lack of predictability of these cases, showing a complete lack of care for families and friends who are so severely impacted. Also it stopped me from moving forward in my recovery. But I am committed to trying to have some influence in making changes. I am making slow progress, I have hit lots of walls, but I am at least making progress! I am now part of a support group, made up from referrals from my therapist, we talk and have actually met, I regularly meet my MP, And have had a response from a government minister, which I am furthering, I am just about to talk to someone from victim support, I have spoken to a journalist, and have now linked the journalist to my husband who has agreed to share his story. It is important that people learn how easy it is to fall into unhealthy and risky behaviour. I am in regular touch with a celebrity, I’m hopeful that an opportunity will arise for the public debate to be had! I have given feedback to my Doctor, and am writing a guidance sheet for use by all staff in the practice, as I was handled very poorly and this has been recognised, another practice in another area has expressed interest in this too. I am also in the early stages of exploring setting up a charity for partners and have found partners for this. There is a lot of practical stuff that we need help with, particularly when our partners are taken into prison unexpectedly. We need more than is available to us. Our needs are unique to us and our situations.
Most of all though I talk! Lots! I am not able to keep this life event private, vigilantes and social media put pay to that! People are curious, so I am happy to answer all their questions and challenge their assumptions. Their absolute conviction that their partner would not do this….hmm, I thought that too!!
It has taken me a long time to get to this point. I have had some very low times, I still do. But I have found a way through it. I have amazing family and friends that lift me up when I need it, I have my ‘tool kit’ that I found and built alone. Now I want to help others. There has to be a reason for going through what I did!
Sorry! This is a long post , but the last couple of posts touched me and I felt I needed to reply.
Sending you all the strength that you need. You’ve all got this, I promise! xxxx
As was said in radio 2 this morning.
'A crushed grape makes the sweetest wine' Xx
'A crushed grape makes the sweetest wine' Xx
Hi Tabs,
I have just read ur reply and it sounds like u have come such a long way in such a short time, and u r doing great work by the sounds of it. Well done you. It was interesting to read ur story
I have just read ur reply and it sounds like u have come such a long way in such a short time, and u r doing great work by the sounds of it. Well done you. It was interesting to read ur story
Thank you Dawn, in some ways it feels like the knock was yesterday and in others it feels like a lifetime ago.
It was an horrendous experience, but in many ways I was fortunate, I am older, have no children and grandchildren, therefore no SS in involvement, plus I live in a village where I have a lot of friends who supported me. I experienced a lot with the fallout from vigilantes about people's behaviour. I read a lot, I have to understand fully in order to process and I feel I now need to do something with that knowledge, or else what is the purpose of my life. Every day, I get stronger. I have found that I am stronger than I thought possible. I have learned a lot. We all have.
xxx
It was an horrendous experience, but in many ways I was fortunate, I am older, have no children and grandchildren, therefore no SS in involvement, plus I live in a village where I have a lot of friends who supported me. I experienced a lot with the fallout from vigilantes about people's behaviour. I read a lot, I have to understand fully in order to process and I feel I now need to do something with that knowledge, or else what is the purpose of my life. Every day, I get stronger. I have found that I am stronger than I thought possible. I have learned a lot. We all have.
xxx
Tabs,
What incredible resilience and passion you have! Inspiring change seems to now be our calling! I hope to display the strength you do one day.
Thank you for sharing your story x
What incredible resilience and passion you have! Inspiring change seems to now be our calling! I hope to display the strength you do one day.
Thank you for sharing your story x
I've found him. He hasn't been processed yet so not able to make calls. Has passed on that he's OK. Maybe I'll sleep tonight.
Hi Sarah my thoughts exactly regarding tabs, sorry to have butted in on ur post but I just needed to reply to tabs xxxx
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