Not allowed home till child 18 (9 more years)
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My husband was charged with 1 case of attempted communication ( was a police officer)
He got 2 year probation 100 community hours
It has took social services a year to do a risk assesment we have just been given a new social worker, and had the news today they have decided he cannot come home till my youngest is 18 (shes 9) the only reason we were given os they say he showed little victim remorse, but he has as there was no actual victim its hard for hom to show the remorse but he is.
Im so so hearbroken i dont know how i can get through the next 9 years living apart from my husband. Its obvious they kust want us to split. Im so lost the new social worker says she will discuss it with here managet, (but its the same manager we had before that made the decision) and has told us she prob cant override another social workers decision
His order is only for 5 years (4 left) and only for under 16s
Can the social workers really keep is aprt for the next 9 years do we have any way to fight this
He got 2 year probation 100 community hours
It has took social services a year to do a risk assesment we have just been given a new social worker, and had the news today they have decided he cannot come home till my youngest is 18 (shes 9) the only reason we were given os they say he showed little victim remorse, but he has as there was no actual victim its hard for hom to show the remorse but he is.
Im so so hearbroken i dont know how i can get through the next 9 years living apart from my husband. Its obvious they kust want us to split. Im so lost the new social worker says she will discuss it with here managet, (but its the same manager we had before that made the decision) and has told us she prob cant override another social workers decision
His order is only for 5 years (4 left) and only for under 16s
Can the social workers really keep is aprt for the next 9 years do we have any way to fight this
We were on a child in need plan, we had a risk assesment by social services and this is their decision
We dont know more till she comes out to discuss in detail tommorow
The decision is all social servicea
His restrictions are he cant live in a household with any child under 16 without social services permisson
They say they are happy with me and my risk/saftey plan but dont feel he has address the victim side of things, he paid for a safter lofe course in leeds and has done work with lucy faithfull. But we havent got the money to pay for any private courses and my husband lost his job and we are seriously struggeling financially
The shpo ends in 4 years but they want to stop him coming home for 9 years, so im guessing we will have a better chance in 4 years when his plan ends
We dont know more till she comes out to discuss in detail tommorow
The decision is all social servicea
His restrictions are he cant live in a household with any child under 16 without social services permisson
They say they are happy with me and my risk/saftey plan but dont feel he has address the victim side of things, he paid for a safter lofe course in leeds and has done work with lucy faithfull. But we havent got the money to pay for any private courses and my husband lost his job and we are seriously struggeling financially
The shpo ends in 4 years but they want to stop him coming home for 9 years, so im guessing we will have a better chance in 4 years when his plan ends
I havent spoke to a solicitor but thankyou think thats the next step
I dont know her qualifications but she was a ASYE social worker and from what i can tell that she was newly qualified
Thankyou will start seeing what help i can find.
Feeling so helpless and heartbroken.
I dont know her qualifications but she was a ASYE social worker and from what i can tell that she was newly qualified
Thankyou will start seeing what help i can find.
Feeling so helpless and heartbroken.
Thank you i will pass all that on to my husband, hes in a very bad place tonight so wont go into it with him now.
I want to fight so hard, but im so emotionally exhasted, my mental health has took a hudge knock with this its been an awful 2.5 years and i just cant see an end in sight, i just dont know how mich fight i have
Thank you for your support
I want to fight so hard, but im so emotionally exhasted, my mental health has took a hudge knock with this its been an awful 2.5 years and i just cant see an end in sight, i just dont know how mich fight i have
Thank you for your support
Can only find one potential match, it shows a middle name which i dont know. It shows she osnt registered in any district bit i know she stopped working for my local authority over a month ago if it is her she has only been registered since september 2020 and was in first year of employment under ASYE sceme which is said on all her emails x
Yes that makes sence, i mentioned gdpr request to her today but it was brushed to one side. Will mention it again tommorow. I also need to do one with police as he was asked to do a lie detector, which he did and passed, after he passed, it was never mwntioned again as it didnt help their case and seems to be no record of the results any where.
Thank you again
Thank you again
Hi Frustrated 21,
I feel ur pain so much, my hubby isn't allowed to live with us at the moment we have not long come out of ccp ( in August ) but we would love to live together again as a family, my old sw who would have had my hubby put down if she could have told me that he would never ever be allowed home, then I was asked to do the Llf course and found this forum and found that it is possible, like u I don't no if I have the fight in me this year I feel as been the worse , 3 &1/2 years since the knock a year down from sentencing but due to being put on ccp and being made to feel like the worse mother going and my mental health is at an all time low it's having the strength to fight on. I feel like they all think i/we ( the children ) should be grateful for wat we get to see of my hubby but they want their dad home. I am so sorry I have rambled but ur story struck with exactly how I am feeling now, my daughter is 7 so I'm looking at 10 years of this
We shouldn't have to fight to be a family
I feel ur pain so much, my hubby isn't allowed to live with us at the moment we have not long come out of ccp ( in August ) but we would love to live together again as a family, my old sw who would have had my hubby put down if she could have told me that he would never ever be allowed home, then I was asked to do the Llf course and found this forum and found that it is possible, like u I don't no if I have the fight in me this year I feel as been the worse , 3 &1/2 years since the knock a year down from sentencing but due to being put on ccp and being made to feel like the worse mother going and my mental health is at an all time low it's having the strength to fight on. I feel like they all think i/we ( the children ) should be grateful for wat we get to see of my hubby but they want their dad home. I am so sorry I have rambled but ur story struck with exactly how I am feeling now, my daughter is 7 so I'm looking at 10 years of this
We shouldn't have to fight to be a family
The lie detector was before conviction, atvhis first interview once he solocitor had left, they asked him to do one
Thank you i thought social worker had to do a data rights request, ill have a look at the website but honestly our area is very poor
Thank you i thought social worker had to do a data rights request, ill have a look at the website but honestly our area is very poor
Dawn14 im so sorry your going thru this too. Ots heartbreaking, we thort our biggest fight was probation as hos worker has been awful so this came as a blow i dont get how they can judge his reabilitation in a few months and basically give him a 9 year sentence when th courts didnt even do that. I understand they protect children but they have had max 15 mins with my children, and every child in need meeting has lasted no more than 10 minutes. They seem more bothered in spliting us up then supporting me or the children. I have all my fingers crossed for u hun xxx
Yes thats exactly right, im not sure if he told his solocotor, he was a duty solocitor and not the best if im honest,
They asked him loads of stuff he was in there hours he passed all questions and it was never mentioned or in any of the reports, it cleary didnt fit their naritve
We are in south yorkshire area
Ofsted says good for everything witch is a huge suprise for me and the way we have been treated, this risk assesment they did was completedbin june and only got the outcome today, they have not turned up to CIN meetings or appointments ignored phone calls and emails
He was convicted on 1 attempted sexual communication (was classed as attempted as was no child)
told ss that he seen not only the potenltial victim but also me and the kids and family as victims too,
Theyare more interested in remorse and social network than risk
He is at the family home from 7am till midnight everyday and they are fine with that but wont let hom sleep
They asked him loads of stuff he was in there hours he passed all questions and it was never mentioned or in any of the reports, it cleary didnt fit their naritve
We are in south yorkshire area
Ofsted says good for everything witch is a huge suprise for me and the way we have been treated, this risk assesment they did was completedbin june and only got the outcome today, they have not turned up to CIN meetings or appointments ignored phone calls and emails
He was convicted on 1 attempted sexual communication (was classed as attempted as was no child)
told ss that he seen not only the potenltial victim but also me and the kids and family as victims too,
Theyare more interested in remorse and social network than risk
He is at the family home from 7am till midnight everyday and they are fine with that but wont let hom sleep
It was a duty solicitor in police station and then we used him for the whole case as he did legal aid, we have a copy of the cps charging document with chat and stuff in, but nothing of the interviews
They did the lie detector to ask
If he had chatted with children before
He he was atracted to children
If he had hurt or abused his own children
Things like that he said no to all and passed
They did the lie detector to ask
If he had chatted with children before
He he was atracted to children
If he had hurt or abused his own children
Things like that he said no to all and passed
Hi Frustrated 21,
Our ss in our area is not great, they have hardly ever talk to my hubby, so how they no way he is like is a joke, they have been a nightmare since day 1, I do understand why they r doing their jobs but I have known my hubby over 20 years u have met him a few times, honestly the first sw let her personal feelings get in the way, our newish one, she rang last week to see how me supervising was going I think she wish she hadn't after I'd finished with her, I told her wat I thought and how I wanted to complain, I think my problem is at minute I'm so angry at them that I blow every now and again after being so terrified for so long by them. I am putting a complaint in about the first sw and then after Christmas I'm going to get things right in my head, I'm to emotional so it all comes out wrong. I am so grateful to the ladies on here for their advice it helps so much. My hubby's po has been amazing always gives him glowing reports he has a year to go and I am worried the new one won't be as good, she has always challenged my hubby if she doesn't think he is telling the truth she can be annoying because no one knows wat goes on in other people's head but she has always been honest and fair. Please keep me updated as I think we r both in the same boat and as much as we don't want to be here knowing someone else is having the same fight gives me hope
Our ss in our area is not great, they have hardly ever talk to my hubby, so how they no way he is like is a joke, they have been a nightmare since day 1, I do understand why they r doing their jobs but I have known my hubby over 20 years u have met him a few times, honestly the first sw let her personal feelings get in the way, our newish one, she rang last week to see how me supervising was going I think she wish she hadn't after I'd finished with her, I told her wat I thought and how I wanted to complain, I think my problem is at minute I'm so angry at them that I blow every now and again after being so terrified for so long by them. I am putting a complaint in about the first sw and then after Christmas I'm going to get things right in my head, I'm to emotional so it all comes out wrong. I am so grateful to the ladies on here for their advice it helps so much. My hubby's po has been amazing always gives him glowing reports he has a year to go and I am worried the new one won't be as good, she has always challenged my hubby if she doesn't think he is telling the truth she can be annoying because no one knows wat goes on in other people's head but she has always been honest and fair. Please keep me updated as I think we r both in the same boat and as much as we don't want to be here knowing someone else is having the same fight gives me hope
We are requesting them today, juat printed off the forms thankyou.
With the social network they are saying its not big enough. And he needs to make more friends
He isnt a friend person but we have a large family unit on both sides all aware and all suportive but they advise its not big enough
I cant get my head around how the judge gives him 5 year sor but the social worker are basically giving his a life sentence
They dont seem to believe in reabilitation of sex offenders i know families who abuse there kids and nothing gets done but then these cases no abuse has happened but they have the book thrown at them
We didnt reach the criteria for a child protection plan as no risk of significant harm so we were only put on a child in need plan, but the outcome seems to be propartinate of a a case with significant harm and seem so out of proportion, i accected it could be a no but thort would be a case of give it 12 months and we will reassess but to instantly say no for 9 years or life really because if i got pregnant it would be another 18 years before he can come home its just devistating.
With the social network they are saying its not big enough. And he needs to make more friends
He isnt a friend person but we have a large family unit on both sides all aware and all suportive but they advise its not big enough
I cant get my head around how the judge gives him 5 year sor but the social worker are basically giving his a life sentence
They dont seem to believe in reabilitation of sex offenders i know families who abuse there kids and nothing gets done but then these cases no abuse has happened but they have the book thrown at them
We didnt reach the criteria for a child protection plan as no risk of significant harm so we were only put on a child in need plan, but the outcome seems to be propartinate of a a case with significant harm and seem so out of proportion, i accected it could be a no but thort would be a case of give it 12 months and we will reassess but to instantly say no for 9 years or life really because if i got pregnant it would be another 18 years before he can come home its just devistating.
Yes only 5 years long. Only 4 years more to go now.
I was hoping that was the case anf we could fight it after the shpo expired so if not before will deff be getting legal advice in 4 years
The judge wasnt happy with the terms of the shpo so she asked the solocitor to amment it and set a new date for us be he was useless and didnt do anything so she kept origional
We wanted to apeal but be had been lucky enough for it to stay in magistrates court and didnt want to risk going to crown and getting more media attention
Husbands case was fully internet based too?
I was hoping that was the case anf we could fight it after the shpo expired so if not before will deff be getting legal advice in 4 years
The judge wasnt happy with the terms of the shpo so she asked the solocitor to amment it and set a new date for us be he was useless and didnt do anything so she kept origional
We wanted to apeal but be had been lucky enough for it to stay in magistrates court and didnt want to risk going to crown and getting more media attention
Husbands case was fully internet based too?
It really feels like a mess
It made a small artical online that mentioned all people charged that week no picticure and veryvlittle info
And a small piece in local paper which caised him to loose his job, sadley the neighbors know and havent been very nice about it but they havent spread ot around like gossip
The solicitor really did let us down and i feel i could have done a better job than him
at least i feel like i have more of a fight with social services now dont know if they will listen or take on any of our concerns but i wont go down without a fight
It made a small artical online that mentioned all people charged that week no picticure and veryvlittle info
And a small piece in local paper which caised him to loose his job, sadley the neighbors know and havent been very nice about it but they havent spread ot around like gossip
The solicitor really did let us down and i feel i could have done a better job than him
at least i feel like i have more of a fight with social services now dont know if they will listen or take on any of our concerns but i wont go down without a fight
Thankyou so so much for your help advice and support, you have no idea how much it means to us (well im sure you do)
I love that there is somewhere to come it really is a life saver. I hope when i feel a bit stronger i can help others more like you,it can be a very lonley place
Xx
I love that there is somewhere to come it really is a life saver. I hope when i feel a bit stronger i can help others more like you,it can be a very lonley place
Xx
Spoke to ss yeaterday without seeing the risk assesment, they said they will reasses in 12 month, but are closing the case now.
They want husband to do courses that are not available
I then received risk assesment today, and it is filled with inaccuarcies, incossitancies and contradictions
They say that is positive he admited a porn addiction, but negative that its a battle hes still has to face
Negative that hes had no berevement support for the loss of our daughter (he has)
But then positive that he has received support
They have even but in the report that the children are having a negative impact from dad not being home and that all children want him home and have expressed no concerns
But followed it up with they will not be old enough to know the truth till 18 therefore cannot protect themselves
Its an absalute shamble
As social services are wanting to close it for the next 12 months can i still raise a formal complaint in writing will ot make a diifference
They want husband to do courses that are not available
I then received risk assesment today, and it is filled with inaccuarcies, incossitancies and contradictions
They say that is positive he admited a porn addiction, but negative that its a battle hes still has to face
Negative that hes had no berevement support for the loss of our daughter (he has)
But then positive that he has received support
They have even but in the report that the children are having a negative impact from dad not being home and that all children want him home and have expressed no concerns
But followed it up with they will not be old enough to know the truth till 18 therefore cannot protect themselves
Its an absalute shamble
As social services are wanting to close it for the next 12 months can i still raise a formal complaint in writing will ot make a diifference
They want him to do a certain victim support course, but its only available via police referal and the police wont refer him as there is no victim
I have started the process of the gdpr request so just see what the next 30 days brings
I hate that all this incorrect information is on record, and will be used against us in future
Thank you again will keep it updated
I have started the process of the gdpr request so just see what the next 30 days brings
I hate that all this incorrect information is on record, and will be used against us in future
Thank you again will keep it updated