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When should we get a lawyer?

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Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 6:01pmReport post

Hi guys,

Sorry nothing really got explained to me and my husband. We had the knock on the 4th September and my husband is currently released on bail. Whilst he was at the station eager to get home he decided not to get legal assistance, he thought by doing so he would look guilty. Just getting advice on if we should be using this time to get a lawyer or if we should wait to see the outcome first? Also does any one know the criteria for legal aid? We really can't afford a lawyer but desperate to give my husband a fighting chance to prove his innocence.

Bob

Member since
September 2021

36 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 6:20pmReport post

Hi mumof3girls,

I'm in the same situation as you, my husband done the same never got a solicitor, I have been in touch with a couple of solicitors and they have both told me the same, that they can not do anything till his next interview as they were not in the first one.

Its driving me crazy as I don’t know what is happening and the police won’t tell me anything. The only difference is he went down for his bail date and they would not see him, I have tried to phone the police to find out what is happening but still no word.

We are all having a really bad time about it even our children, this waiting game is really unfair on family’s and loved ones. It’s the not knowing, the worry of finically affording it,worry of children, worry of press, worry of jobs, worry of friends and family.. the list just goes on.......

Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 6:34pmReport post

It's terrible isn't it. We're the same, waiting is driving us all crazy. I suppose we are one of the lucky ones as he can still come to our home when I'm awake and be supervised by me some people have got it a lot harder. I find the whole situation difficult. Nothing is explained almost like we're suppose to know the whole process. I actually asked the police a question about the supervision on the day and got accused of being anti police. My children are struggling they just want their dad back and I'm missing my husband being with me full time. Little things I took for granted I guess.
I want to make sure we're ready to fight back. Do they get a 2nd interview when they return on their end bail date do you know or do they have to return at another date?

Bob

Member since
September 2021

36 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 6:47pmReport post

Hi mumof3 girls

im sure when they go back for bail it’s just a conversation to tell them if they are still on bail or RUI, I’m not 100% as this has not happened for us so we have just taken it as he is still on bail and are still following what they have set that he is not allowed unsupervised access to the kids and not allowed to stay at night times. He is currently sleeping in the car as we can’t afford everything.

I think it’s harder on the kids as they know the whole story and we have prepared them for the worst situation. SS are happy with the way things are but I know this can change if they find anything else.

i think it’s really unfair that they don’t give you any information or any support through it all as to what you need to do, what will help, who can help......

Bob

Member since
September 2021

36 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 6:53pmReport post

Hi lee1969

we have had no letter, no phone call nothing, I have tried to talk to the policeman who is dealing with this but still waiting for a answer as to what is happening

Bob

Member since
September 2021

36 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 7:03pmReport post

Hi lee1969

yes. I have phoned a solicitor and they have told me that the police should let me know what is happening but still nothing so we just don’t know what to do, I’m sure this is not what is supposed to happen my husband is beside himself and I’m worried that I will be writing on her soon that he has ended his life

Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 7:08pmReport post

I haven't contact the police after that day. We see social worker regularly but that's it. Originally his bail was one month but then that got extended due to a waiting list to check devices. My husband told the police he had been on the app kik in a group to look at adult porn and saw some photos that shouldn't have been there but he didn't watch them just scrolled past (idiot should've reported it, he knows this now) he had no idea that all the pics/videos were automatically downloaded on his phone. When he realised he deleted everything and removed app and never went back. He is absolutely heartbroken that he is being accused of this and our family just want to be back to normal. It's a horrible situation to be in.

i think it's terrible how little information we are given. We have never had issues with the police before so this is all completely new to us which I'm sure it is with a lot of people going through this.
im hoping I can get my family back and that they realise it was a mistake.

Bob

Member since
September 2021

36 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 7:15pmReport post

Hi lee1969

yes I have got the police ref no he gave it to me and said I could call him if I needed anything they we both really nice but I’m scared reading story’s on hear I know I can’t trust the police or SS

Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 7:28pmReport post

Hi Bob,

my husband had a phone call to say his bail was being extended. I'd definitely get in touch with them to find out.

Bob

Member since
September 2021

36 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 7:35pmReport post

Thanks I will try and phone them again, I just hate the whole situation and how they make you feel and make out your husband is some kind of monster when you know there not

Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 7:41pmReport post

I understand that feeling hun, fact is we know our husbands better than they do. Keep your head held high hun x

Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 7:49pmReport post

Unfortunately no, we're still waiting for the devices to be checked, my husband has no idea as he was disgusted when he saw they had downloaded he just deleted them all (including normal porn videos that had been downloaded as well without him knowing). I am shocked that an app like this is still allowed to run and hasn't been shut down, the amount of innocent men who are probably being tricked in the same way is worrying. Normal porn isn't illegal and the app he was using isn't illegal either.

Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 8:03pmReport post

It's disgusting that they're still running. Exactly what I said to him, go buy a dvd the risk of this is basically zero. Unfortunately it's took this to open his eyes to the stupidness of his actions. I'm not going to stop defending him as I know for a fact he isn't this person they're making him out to be.

Bob

Member since
September 2021

36 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 8:30pmReport post

Lee1969

you really are a god sent and you give me so much hope I know that we can all get through this as a family. Your kind words help so much and your knowledge, Thankyou for been there x I will never stop fighting for my husband x

Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 8:42pmReport post

Lee1969, that's good news, well done to you for defending your husband all the way through it. I really hope I am as strong as you and I can be the rock he needs right now. Thank you for all your help too x

minzaal

Member since
October 2021

44 posts

Posted Sun November 14, 2021 7:04amReport post

Yes,if he deleted them straight away,then he will be not guilty of "possession".They may then try to charge with "making".Get a good solicitor and get them to get a good computer forensics expert.Making is more difficult to prove than possession.

If there is no evidence of searching for images and no evidence of requesting anyone to send iioc,the cps and police will have great difficulty.

I hope this is not deleted to show that Lucy is wanting to help those who are innocent.

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Sun November 14, 2021 2:03pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri December 9, 2022 10:36pm

Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Sun November 14, 2021 2:27pmReport post

Hi Baffledb,

I did commented and then realised it was a few months ago you posted so thought it was best to remove. I am disgusted with how our search went but in a different way from yours. I have 3 children 1 young and 2 teenagers. The knock happened at 8am on a Saturday morning. I was woken by an officer and made to go downstairs with my husband. My 3 children was all woken by police officers and made to all sit in a bedroom with each other with no adult there whilst they searched their bedrooms in front of them. (I found this absolutely heartbreaking as everyone is so quick now to say about the protection of my children yet I feel my kids were let down there big time). My older 2 was left to answer the questions of my 5 year old when they had no idea what was going on. They also over heard a police officer accuse me of having drugs on my bed side cabinet and he thought they should test it. This turned out to be dust, I have never took drugs in my life. Every question I was asked I was accused of being anti police. I used to respect the police but after this I can't say they have my full respect now. If this is the right way it should be done I definitely believe it should be changed for the children's sake, this absolutely broke them.



my husband has admitted there will be pictures/video on the hard drive as he deleted them when he realised they had been downloaded. He is most definitely not the type of person to go looking or even look at them when he realised what they were. I'm so shocked an app like this can still run.

Edited Sun November 14, 2021 2:30pm

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Sun November 14, 2021 2:40pmReport post

I'm so sorry they had to go through that and yourself too. I can understand in a way why they do what they do but I think they go about it in completely the wrong way and the things that came out of their mouths makes me think they can't be trusted to be around children because they could ask them all sorts of leading questions. I've spoken to the OIC once since the first visit as he came round to ask me questions about who has had access to my house etc and my partner gave him his upto date number and then OIC called me back a couple of hours later to say my partner had given him my number and did I not think it was odd, at this point my partner snatched the phone and told him to check his paper again and read the number my partner had given him.

I totally agree, I never used to be anti police but how I feel about the officers in this situation. I hope they get demoted to being at the front of an anti-police riot by the time I've finished complaining about them. Which I will do once they come back with an NFA. In my opinion they were not there to protect victims or potential victims or try to prosecute a guilty man, they were there on a power trip with a measly bit of evidence. Luckily I came across as quite a weak, blubbering fool in their dealing with me. Little do they know I'm actually a well educated, angry woman with a 10 page report ready to send!!!

Mumof3girls

Member since
November 2021

201 posts

Posted Sun November 14, 2021 2:54pmReport post

Wow go you, I have mentioned to my ss how they dealt with my children and that I didn't think it was right she agreed with me and said she would be angry too. The only time we spoke to the oic was when he extended his bail as there's a waiting list for the devices to be checked. It was extended until early December. I'm really hoping he is cleared and we can enjoy our Christmas. Fingers crossed you get the answers you want hun x

BaffledB

Member since
July 2021

876 posts

Posted Sun November 14, 2021 3:09pmReport post

I think because of the nature of the crime and how taboo it is that the dignity both ourselves and our partners/family should be given is dismissed entirely and they forget that it should be innocent until proven guilty, even if they think they have extensive evidence prior to a full investigation people still deserve to be treated with human decency, considering a lot of offenders in these cases suffer from mental illness, addiction and are victims of child abuse themselves. Thank you so much :). I hope they wrap it up super quick for you and you can all enjoy a lovely Xmas xx