Family and Friends Forum

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 8:05pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Mon November 15, 2021 8:44am

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 8:18pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Mon November 15, 2021 8:44am

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

363 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 8:33pmReport post

Hi SoTired

After reading your post I felt the need to reply to you. For memory I think your son is under 18 years old, is that correct? Is he still going to be under 18 when he attends court, so is going to a Youth Court?

If this is the case I can share with you our experience of Youth Court as a Family.

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 8:39pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Mon November 15, 2021 8:44am

Grace Hush

Member since
August 2021

145 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 8:46pmReport post

I hope everything goes smoothly.

I haven't had the court experience yet so can't offer any insight, only virtual support.

I know it's easier said when you're not going through it but at least the court is the beginning of the end of the awful limbo you've been stuck in. I hope it provides a workable outcome that allows you and your son to move on productively with your lives. Xx

Grace Hush

Member since
August 2021

145 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 8:47pmReport post

Oh one thing I can offer reassurance with is that youth courts don't allow media reporting so it shouldn't get out. One consolation xx

Grace Hush

Member since
August 2021

145 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 8:51pmReport post

Also, I understand the shame. I feel it too, its soul destroying.

But I am aware this is not my fault and i hope you are too! There are many influences in a child's life aside from their parents and ultimately we cannot and do not make the choices for our children.

You have done nothing wrong and have clearly done so much for your son. You are a good mother. You cannot control the actions of others, not even your children xx

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

363 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 9:02pmReport post

If you can please try not to panick, we have been in this place too, and you will find the strength to get through it.

Please remember the criminal justice system treats children and young people differently from adults and significant weight must be attached to the age of the suspect if they are a child or young person under 18. The Youth Justice System also sees the child first, offending behaviour second.

I can honestly say we were terrified at going to court but it was much more manageable than we expected it to be compared to the 'knock' and our dealings with the Police.

Please note this is your opportunity to write a character reference for your son that can be given to the judge on the day. As well as detailing his character you can include the impact this process has had on him, remorse he has shown etc - you can tell the impact it has had on his life and yours. Do you have anyone else who can write a reference for your son?

Have you got a solicitor, preferably with expertise in Youth Court?

A short video of what to expect at Youth Court is shown on Just for Kids Law website. The link is

https://www.justforkidslaw.org/what-we-do/fighting-change/campaigning/youth-justice/information-young-people

You may find it useful to look at.

Have you any specific questions and I will try my best to answer them for you.

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

363 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 9:21pmReport post

Hi SoTired

Just to also say that your son will have anonymity as he is under 18 years - no members of the general public or the press can attend Youth Court.

Hope this gives you some peace of mind.

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 10:51pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Mon November 15, 2021 8:44am

SoTired

Member since
March 2021

387 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 10:53pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Mon November 15, 2021 8:44am

Alison20

Member since
March 2021

363 posts

Posted Sat November 13, 2021 11:16pmReport post

Hi SoTired

Good to hear you have kept busy today.

If you do have any questions about youth court I will do my best to answer them.

When I needed someone to talk to, I spoke to Samaritans in the middle of the night! which was a first for me. They are very good at listening if you just want to talk to someone about everything that is going on....

Remember to look after yourself and take one day at a time.

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Sun November 14, 2021 7:59amReport post

SoTired, sending you hugs. My son has just been called for his second interview and my brain is scrambled so I understand how you must be feeling xx