a year after the knock today and it came back to bite me in arse yesterday
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Hi I know many of you will know how I am feeling and after a year since the knock because the vigilantes were getting a said "GROUP" they waited to blow my life to smithereens.
I have been closely but only occasionally monitoring their activity to see when they would act on their evidence I was one of the lucky ones not to have to deal with a live stream. However, part of me wonders a year on would that have been easier to rip the plaster off and deal with it all at once.
Don't get me wrong I know that these citations are horrendous but now after releasing details but leaking them slowly, I am going to have to watch them tear mine and my children's lives apart slowly piece by piece. The children's father and I are not together and have not been since d-day. I find myself inundated with messages and such like asking me why I didn't tell anyone or how could I sleep at night? My answer is I don't and that a year on the shame, worry, anger etc... is not gone but buried as I have spent the last 6 months rebuilding myself and my children's life knowing this was coming and I would have to start again. Major positive I have lost 5 stone in weight and found a love for the gym (great for my stress). My kids have finally to look past the locals that have managed to taunt us especially my little 10-year-old lad who has been taunted at school in no uncertain terms. Now because the vigilantes have made their move I will have to begin again. I have locked down my Facebook changed my name and removed any of the last remnants of my life with the children's father in an attempt to damage limitate.
I am just so scared and stressed about what comes next!! He is in the army so this will be a prime story I am sure for papers. Also, I feel awful I brought this man into my families life and I cannot stop the hurt from spreading I know it is not my fault but after seeing what it has done so far to the children and me, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I guess I just came here to write this down because again I feel trapped by this situation and like my life is taken out of my hands and spiralling out of control. I am trying to get the kid's dad to consent to sell the house as this area is vile there have been bricks put through a person window for something less than this and many arson attacks. I have already received plenty of hassle over the last year with my son and at school and me a=out and about. It has not been anything i cannot handle. What do I do next? Xmas is around the corner and I am not set and this has set my mind further away from my goal of new traditions and memories for my beasties (beasties/but lovelies).
The kid's dad has supervised access 1 day a week, he has one child out of 3 and I don't know if now is the time due to the issue going viral if I need to prevent contact due to safety worries as we all know the children, partner and family behind the scenes are the collateral damage. I want to fight back and stop any more hurt for the family I want to get an injunction again the group can I do that? I feel so powerless and am not sure what I can so accept ride this out!
To all the fellow partners and posters on here and those just quietly watching in the wings know that your doing fantastic and we can get through this. Right now with the stress and so much going through my mind, I don't see a clear path ahead but I know I will find it and that I have to.
thanks to those that take the time too read this word vomit I am scared, stressed and worried and appreciate you taking the time. I DONT FEEL SO ALONE IN THE WORLD HERE!!!
xxxxx
I have been closely but only occasionally monitoring their activity to see when they would act on their evidence I was one of the lucky ones not to have to deal with a live stream. However, part of me wonders a year on would that have been easier to rip the plaster off and deal with it all at once.
Don't get me wrong I know that these citations are horrendous but now after releasing details but leaking them slowly, I am going to have to watch them tear mine and my children's lives apart slowly piece by piece. The children's father and I are not together and have not been since d-day. I find myself inundated with messages and such like asking me why I didn't tell anyone or how could I sleep at night? My answer is I don't and that a year on the shame, worry, anger etc... is not gone but buried as I have spent the last 6 months rebuilding myself and my children's life knowing this was coming and I would have to start again. Major positive I have lost 5 stone in weight and found a love for the gym (great for my stress). My kids have finally to look past the locals that have managed to taunt us especially my little 10-year-old lad who has been taunted at school in no uncertain terms. Now because the vigilantes have made their move I will have to begin again. I have locked down my Facebook changed my name and removed any of the last remnants of my life with the children's father in an attempt to damage limitate.
I am just so scared and stressed about what comes next!! He is in the army so this will be a prime story I am sure for papers. Also, I feel awful I brought this man into my families life and I cannot stop the hurt from spreading I know it is not my fault but after seeing what it has done so far to the children and me, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I guess I just came here to write this down because again I feel trapped by this situation and like my life is taken out of my hands and spiralling out of control. I am trying to get the kid's dad to consent to sell the house as this area is vile there have been bricks put through a person window for something less than this and many arson attacks. I have already received plenty of hassle over the last year with my son and at school and me a=out and about. It has not been anything i cannot handle. What do I do next? Xmas is around the corner and I am not set and this has set my mind further away from my goal of new traditions and memories for my beasties (beasties/but lovelies).
The kid's dad has supervised access 1 day a week, he has one child out of 3 and I don't know if now is the time due to the issue going viral if I need to prevent contact due to safety worries as we all know the children, partner and family behind the scenes are the collateral damage. I want to fight back and stop any more hurt for the family I want to get an injunction again the group can I do that? I feel so powerless and am not sure what I can so accept ride this out!
To all the fellow partners and posters on here and those just quietly watching in the wings know that your doing fantastic and we can get through this. Right now with the stress and so much going through my mind, I don't see a clear path ahead but I know I will find it and that I have to.
thanks to those that take the time too read this word vomit I am scared, stressed and worried and appreciate you taking the time. I DONT FEEL SO ALONE IN THE WORLD HERE!!!
xxxxx
Oh Lanny
I am so sorry to read your post it's just so awful for you and your children
I am here because of my son unlike you we were woken up at 06.30 in the morning with 7 officers and a warrent that day will be etched forever in my mind 18 months on still waiting but sentancing will be in the next 8 /10 weeks
:-( I just wanted to send you a virtual hug xx
I am so sorry to read your post it's just so awful for you and your children
I am here because of my son unlike you we were woken up at 06.30 in the morning with 7 officers and a warrent that day will be etched forever in my mind 18 months on still waiting but sentancing will be in the next 8 /10 weeks
:-( I just wanted to send you a virtual hug xx
I'm so sorry you're going through all that Lanny.
So unfair that you and your children are being punished even more when you are innocent victims of someone elses actions.
Sending love, like you say you will get through this but that doesn't make it any less difficult.
Most people who have suffered media attention say it has quickly blown over and I hope this will be te case for you too. How awful that the vigilante group is slowly releasing evidence. Simply cruel.
Can you speak to the police or a solicitor about it? Maybe they can put a stop to it in some way as it's damaging to the lives of your children?
X
So unfair that you and your children are being punished even more when you are innocent victims of someone elses actions.
Sending love, like you say you will get through this but that doesn't make it any less difficult.
Most people who have suffered media attention say it has quickly blown over and I hope this will be te case for you too. How awful that the vigilante group is slowly releasing evidence. Simply cruel.
Can you speak to the police or a solicitor about it? Maybe they can put a stop to it in some way as it's damaging to the lives of your children?
X
I thank you both for taking the time to read my essay ????
the update is that the police managed to have the post removed and stop the premiere of the sting. I am now dealing with the fall out of what his family saw while the post was live and being punished by further persecution from them and segregation for my silence and not telling about the kids dad. (I am isolated and 6 hours from my family I went it alone with my babies could still see their dads family).
I mean I am not bothered I don't have his family it's no loss tk me but is to children only things that bothers me is to judge my silence by persecuting without asking the reason for my silence. I mean the man posted images of me to the decoy without my knowledge of any of it. My silence is not in support of his actions they are in support of keeping my kids secure and safe.
today I feel immensely alone others I ride through it. I just came to check in and say thank you ????
the update is that the police managed to have the post removed and stop the premiere of the sting. I am now dealing with the fall out of what his family saw while the post was live and being punished by further persecution from them and segregation for my silence and not telling about the kids dad. (I am isolated and 6 hours from my family I went it alone with my babies could still see their dads family).
I mean I am not bothered I don't have his family it's no loss tk me but is to children only things that bothers me is to judge my silence by persecuting without asking the reason for my silence. I mean the man posted images of me to the decoy without my knowledge of any of it. My silence is not in support of his actions they are in support of keeping my kids secure and safe.
today I feel immensely alone others I ride through it. I just came to check in and say thank you ????