Family and Friends Forum

Hi, just found out that my social worker done a secret visit to my 5 year olds school with out me knowing. Is this allowed? I'm annoyed as I've been found safe to supervise my husband yet feel I'm still being put in the dark and I don't think it's fair to remove her from her lessons. Also how long did you guys wait for your social assessments to come through. I've been waiting nearly 4 weeks and my social worker still hasn't given me it.

My daughter has told me it was just her and the social worker. We are now going through to he process of my husbands risk assessment but I'm getting so annoyed of being left out and not told anything. All I'm getting is lie after lie and in all honesty I've reached my point now. I've got a teams meeting with her and the safeguarding people at all my kids schools and I'll be sure to question why this has happened and demand for another adult to be present at the time when this happens. I've never denied her access to my children in my home and I believe my children are more comfortable with all of these meetings at home.

No I have heard absolutely nothing from her. She seems to be ignoring my call and texts as I'm still waiting for my assessment papers 4 weeks later. My husband had a meeting with her that day and as he was about to leave she said oh I'm off to see your youngest at school today. He didn't think anything of it and assumed I knew. This is one of the worse things about all of this, people believing they can do what they want with my kids behind my back. We have another child in need meeting Wednesday with her and the safeguarding school teachers so I will bring it up in there that I expect to be notified and another adult present. Although in all honesty I'm not sure why we're doing these child in need things last I knew we was suppose to just be doing a risk assessment on my husband. I have literally been lied too all the way through this process.

I will definitely take your advice thanks Hun.

I had a meeting with sw today (only given 30mins warning) apparently she is visiting my children in school due to the child in need assessment. She reckons they're allowed to do it. I expressed that I would rather her see my children at home as my children are allowed to be children at school without being reminded of all of this going on. Seems she had asked my children's permission to do so. Basically after seeing my assessment (finally received paperwork) I don't think they'll let my husband be unsupervised any time soon. They're really do paint him in a bad picture x

5, 13 and 14

They saw my 5 year old and she plans on meeting other 2 tomorrow if they agree.

I may sound daft, I have nothing to hide from them but I also am worried that they will try and push my children to get the answer they want to make my husband look bad. (I've read some horror stories about them)

I signed something right at the beginning of all of this about allowing schools to know and gp. I've had nothing else. Never thought they'd go into my sex life and now any abuse in my childhood. I thought I was all done. Only just found out what cat photos flagged him up to the police in the first place. I'm getting so frustrated with the whole thing.

I was asked when I last slept with my husband, how often I did and did he make me do anything I was uncomfortable with. I was heartbroken that this was even asked I am a very private person. Last week she asked my husband all about his past (which is understandable as this is about him) and today she's been asking me if there was any abuse of any kind in my childhood. It was 1 A and 1B although he admitted they was deleted and may be more as he never knew they was downloaded whilst he was in a porn group on kik.
starting to look like they follow their own rules x

Honestly feels like they're punishing me for it as well. I felt like they was blaming me for him going to porn in the first place. His mother has just received call from oic (unsure why he's calling her and not my husband or me) basically saying legal aid is still available if needed and we will know before the 2nd of December. Hoping this goes the right way. Don't want to keep living like this. I want my privacy back x

No the officer leading this all called my husbands mum and told her that it will still be offered if needed (my husband never accepted on first interview) he's currently on bail waiting for devices to be checked and they've said we will know what's happening before his bail runs out 2nd dec. we was told due to the wait for devices it could take up til feb.

Sorry going off the topic really aren't I. Just have a lot to get off my chest. X

I must admit I was struggling pretty much alone before finding this forum. Now I wouldn't say I'm completely at ease with this all but I'm a lot more relaxed and feel supported more than I ever have during this time. You've commented a lot on my post and appreciate it so much. Thank you x

It's exactly what I needed though so please don't apologise. It's helpful to know things that can help as the police and ss don't explain anything. Everything I know I've either googled or learnt from here. So glad I found this forum. X

It does hun xx

No you're not mad lol. I will do. xx