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First prison visit!

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Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 4:20pmReport post

So today was my first visit to prison and wow, what an eye opener! Its been 19 days since he went and the first time I've seen him. We've never spent more than a couple of days apart in our 28 year marriage so to say its been tough is an understatement! He's lost over half a stone already (the food is shocking) and just looks totally broken. It was by far one of the hardest things to walk out of there without him.

I'm just so utterly sad all the time, I'm not sleeping great again (already on meds to help) and on top of it all I am having to sell our home to find something smaller that I can afford.

Life couldn't be much worse at the moment. But I do have my 2 amazingly supportive and strong daughters who are dragging me through this.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2349 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 4:43pmReport post

Hi MW

It is one of the hardest things to have to do apart from the knock,investigation etc

My son is held on remand until his sentancing and I have visited him 3 times so far it's awful as the visiting area is mixed with different prisoners so he is on edge as brought in on his own and taken out after the visit but it is what it is until he gets moved after court

He has lost a lot of weight as you said the food is not great and he has given up on himself and struggling so much if only I could bring him home :-(

Sending you a virtual hug xx

Judith

Member since
June 2021

195 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 4:50pmReport post

I feel so very sad for you ladies. But you are both brave and determined and your menfolk and your families are lucky to have your support. I take strength from your examples.

Take care.

Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 6:49pmReport post

Upset mum, it's just totally heartbreaking isn't it. My husband deserved to be punished for his crime, but CPS, PO, probation report, solicitor and barrister all said he would get a suspended sentence. Although I thought I prepared for a custodial, I don't think you can until it happens and you are living the nightmare. My whole world collapsed a second time. I'm now having to sell my 'forever home' because he was the main bread winner and I can't afford the mortgage on my own. I'm 48 years ols, married for 28 and now looking at a 2 up 2 down terrace on my own..... Where did my life go so wrong! I truly thought we had an enviable life.... Good job, good marriage, beautiful daughters.... I'm just lost

Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 7:00pmReport post

Judith, thank you for your kind words. I think I'm just running on autopilot to be honest!!

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2349 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 7:11pmReport post

MW I have been following your situation on here along with many other cases and I was just gutted for you both when I read it was custodial:-(

I have never in my life experienced such heartache (and believe me I have had some things happen) but this has broken me he is my son. My world has been turned upside down as has everyone else on here yes they should receive punishment for what they have done I dont condone what he has done by no means and I still cannot even begin to understand how it even started! It's been 18months on remand for 3 months sentancing in the new year

xx

Mw

Member since
March 2021

150 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 7:17pmReport post

Upset mum, it's so good to talk to someone else feeling the same way. I honestly feel like I'm teetering on the edge of a flippin mental breakdown most days, but my defence mechanism is to laugh it off with humour. That doesn't really help when I close my front door in the evening and I'm sat on my own though.

Thank you for reaching out xxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2349 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 8:20pmReport post

MW

Sending a huge hug xx

This forum has been a godsend just to know i am not alone in this journey

My mind is constantly re living this nightmare every day and it will continue to until my son is home he is at the point of just giving up and as a mum I have to stay strong for him but it's so difficult as I could easily give up but we cant we have to keep going

Please keep coming on here just to keep us updated as to how you both are sending you lots of strength and warm hugs you have got this and will get through it no matter how tough it gets xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2483 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 9:05pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri November 19, 2021 6:38pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2349 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 9:13pmReport post

Smile through tears

It's just horrendous xx

I can resonate on how you must be feeling I talk to my son every day as nice as it is to hear his voice it's just so difficult to hear him broken! I get off the phone and always cry I just feel so sad and empty all the time

Going to visit him is so hard I can see him just existing a shadow of himself :-( and I just want to bring him home but i have no idea how long he will get still waiting on a sentancing day!

xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2483 posts

Posted Thu November 18, 2021 4:44amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Fri November 19, 2021 6:39pm