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Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

995 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 5:58pmReport post

Hi,

Apologies if this is too much information but I don't really know where to find any advice on this. Background, knock was middle of last year whilst I was pregnant. Relationship ended. Gave birth in the same week as sentencing, 3 years probation and community service. We see each other once a week so he can see our daughter and are hoping in the future to work through things. The wording of our safety plan means that his parents are also present during contact, will look at this further down the line but felt it needed to be mentioned to provide context. He has identified a porn addiction and has made the decision not to watch any, hasn't since he was arrested. He has said he is struggling the last few weeks without it. We are really not in the right place to have a sexual relationship, emotionally or in terms of having any time alone. Is there anything I can suggest other than going old school (imagination, mags and dvds)? I don't want him to feel like he's failing and obviously don't want to risk any dangerous behaviour. Thanks in advance

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

995 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 8:20pmReport post

Hi,

He's having counselling and also doing the engage course. The person doing his course suggested dvds rather than completely abstaining but he is unsure about doing this, as am I. Thank you for your suggestions, I'll have a look x

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

995 posts

Posted Wed November 17, 2021 10:57pmReport post

As far as I know he has. It's so hard because obviously I'm only getting his version of how his course and counselling are going. Hopefully at some point in the future we can get counselling together but for now I've given him your advice and have watched the basics reboot nation video. I'll continue to support him as best as I can even if we don't end up in a place where we can work on our relationship x

Countrygirl

Member since
July 2021

37 posts

Posted Thu November 18, 2021 12:48pmReport post

He may not agree to this but our dr prescribed seratraline as it's helps decrease libido. I've don't loads of porn prevention on his iPad which is going to be the only device he is allowed but with lots of monitoring.

See if the GP can help.

Distressed and pregnant

Member since
November 2020

995 posts

Posted Fri November 19, 2021 7:46amReport post

Thank you both. He has been on sertraline for nearly 5 years for anxiety and depression. He doesn't actually have a high sex drive and has said that there is no attraction to children and his offences were not sexually motivated. When baby naps today I will have a look at the brain, heart and world video, thank you. I will also research more on my own and have advised him to do the same. I think with everything that has happened I worry about searching for things so it's good to have a starting point x