Victim notification of bail conditions
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Thank you, I will reach out to them x
Thanks Lee, I've emailed safer lives to ask if they can offer me any support.
I feel a little better for writing out how I feel 3 times and having a bloody good weep! X
I feel a little better for writing out how I feel 3 times and having a bloody good weep! X
So very true Lee!
I've tried hard to give myself time through all this but it gets so hard that the usual things stop working.
A good cry often helps though lol.
Thank you for the support and kindness, I truly appreciate it xx
I've tried hard to give myself time through all this but it gets so hard that the usual things stop working.
A good cry often helps though lol.
Thank you for the support and kindness, I truly appreciate it xx
Hi Grace hush,
I can't give u any actual help but reading ur post made me feel like u r going through the same as me, I have been struggling mentally due to the way ss have been with me, I feel I have pstd but people r wondering y after all I've been through, like u I have to wait 11 months for cbt ( I was referred to the mental health team ) I am also on high meds, due to high anxiety a d depression. I am here if u ever want to chat hang on in there we can do this xx
I can't give u any actual help but reading ur post made me feel like u r going through the same as me, I have been struggling mentally due to the way ss have been with me, I feel I have pstd but people r wondering y after all I've been through, like u I have to wait 11 months for cbt ( I was referred to the mental health team ) I am also on high meds, due to high anxiety a d depression. I am here if u ever want to chat hang on in there we can do this xx
Thanks Dawn
It's such a hard situation and made so much worse if any service is unkind to us.
I hope you're doing ok x
It's such a hard situation and made so much worse if any service is unkind to us.
I hope you're doing ok x
Hi Grace Hush,
It is and I understand they are only doing their job, but telling me they are handling things the wrong way or not their way is so wrong no one and I mean no one knows how to handle things when this situation is forced on u with no warning, I mean I was not only dealing with this but my eldest has mental health issues ( nothing to do with this ) so I had her cutting herself and trying to overdose whilst losing my hubby ( as he wasn't allowed home through the investigation) or at the minute and then they sign u off, and when u are given hope and try to fight for that hope they come back in and rip it to shreds. I am thankful for my hubby having a decent po, because the ss have been a nightmare xx
It is and I understand they are only doing their job, but telling me they are handling things the wrong way or not their way is so wrong no one and I mean no one knows how to handle things when this situation is forced on u with no warning, I mean I was not only dealing with this but my eldest has mental health issues ( nothing to do with this ) so I had her cutting herself and trying to overdose whilst losing my hubby ( as he wasn't allowed home through the investigation) or at the minute and then they sign u off, and when u are given hope and try to fight for that hope they come back in and rip it to shreds. I am thankful for my hubby having a decent po, because the ss have been a nightmare xx
Hi Ladies, I see some of us are night owls and not through choice.
There is huge unmet need for counselling and therapy but my GP prescribed an online CBT programme called Silver Cloud. We are in Scotland and I don't know if something similar is available in your area. I have done some CBT before and was sceptical whether it would help on this occasion but it has been of some benefit. It is not going to sort out the PTSD but may help you feel a bit more in control on a day to day basis.
Failing that, all I can offer is a virtual hug.
There is huge unmet need for counselling and therapy but my GP prescribed an online CBT programme called Silver Cloud. We are in Scotland and I don't know if something similar is available in your area. I have done some CBT before and was sceptical whether it would help on this occasion but it has been of some benefit. It is not going to sort out the PTSD but may help you feel a bit more in control on a day to day basis.
Failing that, all I can offer is a virtual hug.
Hi Judith,
Thanks for that information I will have a look into it x
Thanks for that information I will have a look into it x
I'm in a similar position, Grace. Partner's son arrested for iioc online and an online chat about alleged abuse of his sister and fantasies about her. He also posted family pictures of her (my daughter) onto this chat.
It's been nearly 3 months since the knock. CS have closed to us as it was deemed that she was safe. His bail ends next week, but we were inormed last night by partner's ex that the police have cancelled that date as they have all info from device search etc. The police have said that they will need to see him (son) within 90 days instead.
I have no idea what this means. Does this mean its likely he's going to get a caution or not get charged? We haven't heard from anyone about this, and as the original bail conditions banned any contact with my daughter, does that mean that is still the case? He won't ever have any contact with her, or me, again anyway after this, but we don't know the legal viewpoint.
Both me and my partner feel as if we've been forgotten. He seems to be coping, but I can't forgive, can't forget and most definitely can't move on until I know everything. He doesn't want to know any more and son won't speak to him.
I'm always here if you need a chat. Look after yourself as much as you can. Confide in someone you trust implicitly and lean on them. I find this forum so helpful.
Xxxx
It's been nearly 3 months since the knock. CS have closed to us as it was deemed that she was safe. His bail ends next week, but we were inormed last night by partner's ex that the police have cancelled that date as they have all info from device search etc. The police have said that they will need to see him (son) within 90 days instead.
I have no idea what this means. Does this mean its likely he's going to get a caution or not get charged? We haven't heard from anyone about this, and as the original bail conditions banned any contact with my daughter, does that mean that is still the case? He won't ever have any contact with her, or me, again anyway after this, but we don't know the legal viewpoint.
Both me and my partner feel as if we've been forgotten. He seems to be coping, but I can't forgive, can't forget and most definitely can't move on until I know everything. He doesn't want to know any more and son won't speak to him.
I'm always here if you need a chat. Look after yourself as much as you can. Confide in someone you trust implicitly and lean on them. I find this forum so helpful.
Xxxx
I'm sorry you're also going through a similarly tough situation. It really is awful. I hope you get some closure soon and are able to move on from the horror.
I would say it sounds like in your partners sons case, the investigation has ended and they have sent the findings to the CPS to make charging decision.
You can get in touch with the OIC and ask them about bail conditions and they should (eventually) get back to you. I tried calling 101 as advised above and they couldn't tell me as it hadn't been updated in the system (eye roll) but you could try that also.
As your daughter is named they should update you. From what I understand having found the victim code, they should update you within a day as your daughter is classed as vulnerable due to age but as we both know, they don't actually bother!!
Sending love x
I would say it sounds like in your partners sons case, the investigation has ended and they have sent the findings to the CPS to make charging decision.
You can get in touch with the OIC and ask them about bail conditions and they should (eventually) get back to you. I tried calling 101 as advised above and they couldn't tell me as it hadn't been updated in the system (eye roll) but you could try that also.
As your daughter is named they should update you. From what I understand having found the victim code, they should update you within a day as your daughter is classed as vulnerable due to age but as we both know, they don't actually bother!!
Sending love x