6 months in…
Notifications OFF
Hi all
So we are now just over 6 months since my hubby got the knock.
Our beautiful baby girl was born 2 months ago now and hubby has been allowed to be at home and we are in a happy little bubble at the moment.
We are just waiting, waiting, waiting for more news from the police.
Social services are even annoyed at this point that we haven't heard anything. They have been very supportive and we have been very lucky with them (as well as working hard to prove we are good parents ect). Social services want to do an assessment and are ready to pay for the Lucy faithful assessment on hubby (which we will be able to use in court too) but can't do it until devises are back. Once the assessment is done they will look at the safety plan again and if a good assessment will allow hubby to have some unsupervised access (will have to see what this looks like!) before closing the case on us. But we can't do anything until we have more from the police!
Im fairly confident that there won't be anything major on devises - though hubby could have lied and I'm not naive to that! But I don't think he has. But we will see.
He is doing amazing in therapy and has even been promoted at work (who know of the arrest) and is also doing a wellbeing champion role at work to support others as he now really understands mental health a lot more. His therapist is working on his issues with him such as the fact he has disassociated himself from his past abuse and the offending to some extent so will work on that with him over time. He also wants to do the engage plus course but needs to do more therapy first apparently. We have also been thriving as a couple and closer than ever now we can talk and be so open. He's happier than he has ever been in his life without his demons over him and the addiction to going on line (was always adults until he got trapped by police decoys!) and talking to people and Masturbating - which has been going on since he was 12. He is also learning about his emotions for the first time ever as he has had his emotional range stunted by trauma and abs use aged 9.
So everyday really I am waking thinking - is this the day we hear. Is this the day we start the process. Because right now we are free to do what we want. Free to live our lives and have a great time with our little girl. And I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and that to all change. The worse has not yet happened. I'm scared he will get prison time. If he is charged (which is really only a matter of time) we also will lose a lot of family as they are in the police so will likely have to cut all contact. We haven't heard anything from officer in charge for 3 months directly - though her and social worker are in touch and police completely aware he is living at home and no concerns raised.
Anyone in the east of England area got any insight on timelines at the moment?
So we are now just over 6 months since my hubby got the knock.
Our beautiful baby girl was born 2 months ago now and hubby has been allowed to be at home and we are in a happy little bubble at the moment.
We are just waiting, waiting, waiting for more news from the police.
Social services are even annoyed at this point that we haven't heard anything. They have been very supportive and we have been very lucky with them (as well as working hard to prove we are good parents ect). Social services want to do an assessment and are ready to pay for the Lucy faithful assessment on hubby (which we will be able to use in court too) but can't do it until devises are back. Once the assessment is done they will look at the safety plan again and if a good assessment will allow hubby to have some unsupervised access (will have to see what this looks like!) before closing the case on us. But we can't do anything until we have more from the police!
Im fairly confident that there won't be anything major on devises - though hubby could have lied and I'm not naive to that! But I don't think he has. But we will see.
He is doing amazing in therapy and has even been promoted at work (who know of the arrest) and is also doing a wellbeing champion role at work to support others as he now really understands mental health a lot more. His therapist is working on his issues with him such as the fact he has disassociated himself from his past abuse and the offending to some extent so will work on that with him over time. He also wants to do the engage plus course but needs to do more therapy first apparently. We have also been thriving as a couple and closer than ever now we can talk and be so open. He's happier than he has ever been in his life without his demons over him and the addiction to going on line (was always adults until he got trapped by police decoys!) and talking to people and Masturbating - which has been going on since he was 12. He is also learning about his emotions for the first time ever as he has had his emotional range stunted by trauma and abs use aged 9.
So everyday really I am waking thinking - is this the day we hear. Is this the day we start the process. Because right now we are free to do what we want. Free to live our lives and have a great time with our little girl. And I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and that to all change. The worse has not yet happened. I'm scared he will get prison time. If he is charged (which is really only a matter of time) we also will lose a lot of family as they are in the police so will likely have to cut all contact. We haven't heard anything from officer in charge for 3 months directly - though her and social worker are in touch and police completely aware he is living at home and no concerns raised.
Anyone in the east of England area got any insight on timelines at the moment?
Hey, just thought I'd post our timeline so far as we are in East of England. Got the knock on March 19th this year, early October we were notified via solicitor that charges had been authorised by the CPS but we have not received any official notice by post of court date etc. I think the CPS took around eight weeks to authorise the charges.
Partner was arrested following intelligence received that he had distributed an image (Cat C) in January, Cat B found on phone in Recently Deleted folder when house searched. Charges involve 10 images (5 Cat A, 1 Cat B, 4 Cat C). All possession (the distribution element seemingly dropped - on the day of the knock the police told me that you could not tell the image (the one which was the subject of the intelligence) was of a child).
The police took two phones (current and old) belonging to partner and my laptop (the latter he occasionally used but I used it primarily for work). Partner admitted using phone to access the Kik app for sexual chat and (legal) images.
Congratulations on your baby girl!
Partner was arrested following intelligence received that he had distributed an image (Cat C) in January, Cat B found on phone in Recently Deleted folder when house searched. Charges involve 10 images (5 Cat A, 1 Cat B, 4 Cat C). All possession (the distribution element seemingly dropped - on the day of the knock the police told me that you could not tell the image (the one which was the subject of the intelligence) was of a child).
The police took two phones (current and old) belonging to partner and my laptop (the latter he occasionally used but I used it primarily for work). Partner admitted using phone to access the Kik app for sexual chat and (legal) images.
Congratulations on your baby girl!
Hi scared lamb,
I have seen your positivity story and was just wondering what you included in your safety plan please? I have a 6 month old and my husband is an amazing daddy to her and she loves him so much, we are just getting involved with ss and want to see how we can get the best outcome for us all.
thanks x
I have seen your positivity story and was just wondering what you included in your safety plan please? I have a 6 month old and my husband is an amazing daddy to her and she loves him so much, we are just getting involved with ss and want to see how we can get the best outcome for us all.
thanks x
Hi
So our safety plan is basically that hubby cannot have unsupervised access. So it talks about how this is managed - baby sleeps next to my side of the bed, I do all nappy changes and bath times. If I go to the loo or a shower baby is either in the bouncer with me or her dad comes to the loo with me so I can see him ect.
iy also details emergency contacts. Both people we could "escape" to if I ever felt we had to leave abs also people who can come over if I had an appointment ect to supervise hubby and baby.
I also have a section in there on courses and therapy we are doing, how we communicate as a couple and when I would expect the plan to be reviewed (namely when she goes into her own room and on any information from police).
another important section is how we manage internet and phones/ devises kn the home.
it's very very detailed which is what they liked. It ended up being 8 pages. Literally think about everything and how you can handle every situation. And it helps to think of it as a safety plan for baby but also to protect hubby from accusations too.
So our safety plan is basically that hubby cannot have unsupervised access. So it talks about how this is managed - baby sleeps next to my side of the bed, I do all nappy changes and bath times. If I go to the loo or a shower baby is either in the bouncer with me or her dad comes to the loo with me so I can see him ect.
iy also details emergency contacts. Both people we could "escape" to if I ever felt we had to leave abs also people who can come over if I had an appointment ect to supervise hubby and baby.
I also have a section in there on courses and therapy we are doing, how we communicate as a couple and when I would expect the plan to be reviewed (namely when she goes into her own room and on any information from police).
another important section is how we manage internet and phones/ devises kn the home.
it's very very detailed which is what they liked. It ended up being 8 pages. Literally think about everything and how you can handle every situation. And it helps to think of it as a safety plan for baby but also to protect hubby from accusations too.