Pretending life is normal
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We are 10months into my husband being RUi for iioc. he is allowed at home after SS assessment until such time when his devices are checked. This has destroyed me and our marriage but he is at home for the sake of the children, I have spoken on here about that before. He is seeing a stop so therapist but he still such a closed book and unless I bring up the subject he is carrying on at home like lifers normal.
am I wrong to be angry that he is catching up and socialising with friends, friends that I will have to face if/when this all gets out, people that may cut us off and my children will lose their friends. I just feel he should be keeping people at arms length. Is that wrong of me?
am I wrong to be angry that he is catching up and socialising with friends, friends that I will have to face if/when this all gets out, people that may cut us off and my children will lose their friends. I just feel he should be keeping people at arms length. Is that wrong of me?
Hi Starry,
I can completely understand where u r coming from and u do have every right to be angry, as we have to pick up the pieces from the fall outs and sometimes they don't even care. ( NOT saying all but some ) I think it shows where we r so different from them and how we worry. I hope u will be OK xx I'm staying with mine but I still get angry and scream and shout at him about how it's all his fault, and God love him he takes it cause he knows I'm right but he is so sorry for causing all this shit. I no he is sorry but it doesn't help, when I am being made to feel like a bad mum from ss xx
I can completely understand where u r coming from and u do have every right to be angry, as we have to pick up the pieces from the fall outs and sometimes they don't even care. ( NOT saying all but some ) I think it shows where we r so different from them and how we worry. I hope u will be OK xx I'm staying with mine but I still get angry and scream and shout at him about how it's all his fault, and God love him he takes it cause he knows I'm right but he is so sorry for causing all this shit. I no he is sorry but it doesn't help, when I am being made to feel like a bad mum from ss xx
Heya Starry,
You are right to be angry but I will say, have you talked to him about this? It can often be the case (as was ours) that life goes back to normal because that's the only way to function... If I sat here and thought about what he has done all the time my life would stop.
By no means though does this mean you cannot get on with your life. That's exactly what I've done, I'm focusing more on me. It took a lot of time for us to be able to take without shutting down or arguing about the investigation.
Are you seeing a therapist at all? It's great that he's seeing one but you need to focus on yourself and (if you want to continue with the marriage) understanding why your husband did what he did and how things are going to look moving forward.
I hope this helps a little x
You are right to be angry but I will say, have you talked to him about this? It can often be the case (as was ours) that life goes back to normal because that's the only way to function... If I sat here and thought about what he has done all the time my life would stop.
By no means though does this mean you cannot get on with your life. That's exactly what I've done, I'm focusing more on me. It took a lot of time for us to be able to take without shutting down or arguing about the investigation.
Are you seeing a therapist at all? It's great that he's seeing one but you need to focus on yourself and (if you want to continue with the marriage) understanding why your husband did what he did and how things are going to look moving forward.
I hope this helps a little x