Family and Friends Forum

My husband got 8 months for the downloading of thousand of images. Going to prison was horrendous meeting with other families in the same position some in denial about their relatives crimes. Some horrified and crying. Some how seeing him in prison gave comfort, it helped me to feel by seeing all these sex offenders in prison the world was slightly a safer place. He seemed calm and promised me he had reflected and how he was going to change his life. On the outside I cried and felt alone and desperate. Going over and over the crime and having my house turned upside down. 3 months since his release, i hide away from friends and family and have lost access to my 3 beautiful grandchildren. Who were my life. There father has included me to the children by calling me bad and I am sure the children will have been deeply hurt by this. The father of the children has always hated me and my husband so used this situation to cause more trouble. I understand why my husbands daughter won’t let the children come but I hurt terribly that I have been included in this situation, that has torn my world upside down. We don’t have a marital relationship anymore, nor did we for up to 7 years before. I look over my shoulder when out with him.... I feel I’m also in hiding and carry his crime everyday. I hate him for what he has done. I am sick of being judged by his daughter and partner I did nothing wrong yet I was tried like their dad. When will I de free of this terrible situation, with or without him I’ve lost everything. ??

I sit and cry most days, when the kids come out of school and I see them walking home with their parents I pray all of them will be safe but then worry myself sick that they won’t be because after finding out my husband was guilty everyone looks guilty now to me... he looked at images of women in extreme activity, children, and also extreme pornography, everywhere I look I see threats to my mental health.... I planned to foster children and leave my job, he never liked the idea... I thought it was because he was getting older?? No it wasn’t I see that now. I felt the closest people I had in my life were other inmates relatives, they understood, but yet they seemed still to be hiding the details of their trauma... we all need friends people to help you, trusting anyone is now impossible, I phoned stop it now, but feel I need more help. I look across the room and see a stranger in my home, I sometimes don’t feel like I know myself... is there life after this, will I ever feel the true love of a man who is a good person or will I feel like I owe my husband something forever