Shame
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Yesterday got into a situation where family members came up in conversation and I absolutely froze..... It seems everyone beams with pride when talking about their grown up family and their achievements etc (like I once did).
i think of my situation - I do feel very very ashamed and terribly awkward and get the pain in the pit of my stomach again - like I did in the early days.
It's so destroying at times.
i think of my situation - I do feel very very ashamed and terribly awkward and get the pain in the pit of my stomach again - like I did in the early days.
It's so destroying at times.
Hi smile through tears,
Why do you feel ashamed? You had no part in the actions of the person who broke the law. You've done absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I admire everyone who has been through or is going through this hell, surviving day to day can feel impossible but you do it! Everyday is an achievement that should be recognised. xxx
Why do you feel ashamed? You had no part in the actions of the person who broke the law. You've done absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I admire everyone who has been through or is going through this hell, surviving day to day can feel impossible but you do it! Everyday is an achievement that should be recognised. xxx
Hi Smile
I think we just feel so empty with the what things were.like before this horrendous journey and we just feel the loss of what was
You have no reason to feel ashamed but I guess as mums we carry these feelings with us
Look how far you have come and I know your son is doing a lot better than before we travel this journey and wish if only things were different but we cant change what has happened we just have to get through as best as possible
Just wanted to send a virtual hug to you from one mum to another xx
I think we just feel so empty with the what things were.like before this horrendous journey and we just feel the loss of what was
You have no reason to feel ashamed but I guess as mums we carry these feelings with us
Look how far you have come and I know your son is doing a lot better than before we travel this journey and wish if only things were different but we cant change what has happened we just have to get through as best as possible
Just wanted to send a virtual hug to you from one mum to another xx
Thanks. At one time I was as proud as a peacock with my family - now I seem to be on full alert, "does he know" / "does she know".... when I speak to people, I don't like living like this but it's all out of my control.
My other half said although people may brag about their lives - do you really know what's going on in 'their' lives and their family problems/secrets... which is true I suppose....
My other half said although people may brag about their lives - do you really know what's going on in 'their' lives and their family problems/secrets... which is true I suppose....
Smile, there's a saying "Never compare your insides to other people's outsides"
I do know what you mean though, and I've also experienced the reverse when friends start telling me about some "terrible" thing that has happened to their family and to me it seems so trivial, I think to myself "I would happily trade your situation for mine..."
I do know what you mean though, and I've also experienced the reverse when friends start telling me about some "terrible" thing that has happened to their family and to me it seems so trivial, I think to myself "I would happily trade your situation for mine..."
Yes Bitterbean - I find that irritating too. I now see people darting and fussing around as they Christmas shop and think if only that was on the top of MY worry list I'd be a happy woman!
I feel exactly the same - I used to be so proud of my son and now I avoid mentioning him. Writing Christmas cards was insanely difficult; it felt so fake. And tonight I'm going out for a Christmas meal with girlfriends, none of whom I've told but it's possible that they know something as our kids are all the same ages and grew up in the same villages . I'm trying to be positive and think that if they do know, they've still invited me and they're not treating me any differently but that element of shame makes me feel I should stay away.
Sending hugs to all, and thanks to everyone on here xx
Sending hugs to all, and thanks to everyone on here xx
Brene Brown does a lot of excellent work around shame. Feeling it, what is it for, bringing it into the light rather than burying it deep. She has several books but also loads of really accessible YouTube videos.
Thankyou Len x