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Has anyone read this book? Understanding Child Abuse: The Partners of Child Sex Offenders Tell Their Stories, Terry Philpot
My counsellor has recommended it.
My counsellor has recommended it.
Hi Busylizzy,
I am with Lee on this one. Although my husband accessed iioc he has absolutely no attraction to children. It was just another forbidden fruit sexual thrill along with a lot of other extreme porn. We have used the three Paula Hall books and she also has some short video clips on YouTube that are quite informative.
There is a widespread assumption that people accessing iiocs are all paedophiles, but they are not. I have called my husband many things over the past year but the P word is not one of them.
I am with Lee on this one. Although my husband accessed iioc he has absolutely no attraction to children. It was just another forbidden fruit sexual thrill along with a lot of other extreme porn. We have used the three Paula Hall books and she also has some short video clips on YouTube that are quite informative.
There is a widespread assumption that people accessing iiocs are all paedophiles, but they are not. I have called my husband many things over the past year but the P word is not one of them.
Hi BusyLizzie,
I haven't read this but I've just had a little nose at a preview on Googlebooks and it looks an interesting read.
Please let us know if you buy it and your opinions once finished - hopefully it will save me the cost of therapy lol...x
I haven't read this but I've just had a little nose at a preview on Googlebooks and it looks an interesting read.
Please let us know if you buy it and your opinions once finished - hopefully it will save me the cost of therapy lol...x
I've just bought this book after seeing your post busylizzie. I've only just started it but it seems thorough and unprejudiced so far.
It is mostly discussing contact offences but one offender discussed was solely an online offender.
It is discussing the impact of the offence on the female partner, is looking to understand the crimes committed, the reasons why and how the women are treated by sercices. LFF had some input into the book as well and are named as being one of the few services prepared to support the partner of an offender.
Obviously a lot is not directly applicable for most here with it mainly being about contact offences but the content so far seems very relevant for most on this forum in terms of the emotional impact and the stigma people face. There's also a mix of those who want to continue a relationship and those who don't. This is just going on the first bit I've read and the introduction to the chapter themes.
I will post on here my opinions once I finish reading but I think it's worth considering for those who are able and interested. It's pricey though!
It is mostly discussing contact offences but one offender discussed was solely an online offender.
It is discussing the impact of the offence on the female partner, is looking to understand the crimes committed, the reasons why and how the women are treated by sercices. LFF had some input into the book as well and are named as being one of the few services prepared to support the partner of an offender.
Obviously a lot is not directly applicable for most here with it mainly being about contact offences but the content so far seems very relevant for most on this forum in terms of the emotional impact and the stigma people face. There's also a mix of those who want to continue a relationship and those who don't. This is just going on the first bit I've read and the introduction to the chapter themes.
I will post on here my opinions once I finish reading but I think it's worth considering for those who are able and interested. It's pricey though!
So I've read this book and overall think it's really positive.
It's aimed at academics and showing them what the innocent partners of sex offenders are put through, the lack of support for them and how important they are to both supporting the offender and any children as well.
It would be a good book to suggest to any social workers or other professionals who lack understanding about what we are going through.
Some parts of the book may cause some upset as it is mostly about contact abuse and it does make the link between online offences and contact offences. A tough read in places but worth it and it shines a light on the predicament of innocent parties.
It's aimed at academics and showing them what the innocent partners of sex offenders are put through, the lack of support for them and how important they are to both supporting the offender and any children as well.
It would be a good book to suggest to any social workers or other professionals who lack understanding about what we are going through.
Some parts of the book may cause some upset as it is mostly about contact abuse and it does make the link between online offences and contact offences. A tough read in places but worth it and it shines a light on the predicament of innocent parties.
I decided not to read it over Christmas as I was giving myself a break from all this. Started reading it a bit this week, not sure I'll read every chapter as yeah it is not all applicable, but as Grace says, there are some useful bits. I bought it second hand so wasn't too bad, but I can't imagine there's tonnes of copies out there either to be honest. The other thing I'd say is that it is quite old, but I guess a lot of the fall out is still similar despite society having moved on a bit since it was written.
I think one of the reasons my counsellor suggested it is because he knows I want to arm myself with as much information as possible for the future to help me make an informed decision about staying with OH, especially if we do decide to have a family.
Judith I bought one of the Paula Hall ones a while ago about sex addiction, but I didn't find it useful as it seemed to be about partners who are addicted to sex rather than porn. What are the other titles? Will see if I can find the YouTube clip too. Thanks.
Morning Lizzie,
For Paula Hall - was it Understanding & Treating Sex Addiction you read or the Partners Perspective? She's released two books I believe and the latter is definitely helpful in coming to terms with self-worth I think.
For Paula Hall - was it Understanding & Treating Sex Addiction you read or the Partners Perspective? She's released two books I believe and the latter is definitely helpful in coming to terms with self-worth I think.
Hi Lizzy
There are three Paula Hall books:
Understanding and Treating Sex and Pornography Addiction
Sex Addiction - A Guide For Partners
Sex Addiction - A Guide For Couples And Those Who Help Them.
There are many aspects of pornography addiction similar/ the same as sex addiction so for most references to sex addict just read pornography. You will find Sex Addicts Anonymous groups will happily accept pornography addicts too. Don't know if anyone has partners who attend SAA meetings ?
There are three Paula Hall books:
Understanding and Treating Sex and Pornography Addiction
Sex Addiction - A Guide For Partners
Sex Addiction - A Guide For Couples And Those Who Help Them.
There are many aspects of pornography addiction similar/ the same as sex addiction so for most references to sex addict just read pornography. You will find Sex Addicts Anonymous groups will happily accept pornography addicts too. Don't know if anyone has partners who attend SAA meetings ?
Thank you Judith, I'll check to see which one I have of Paula's.