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Today feeling full of self pity

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Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat December 11, 2021 12:12pmReport post

So I woke up this morning crying and lay there thinking why am I crying the tears were flowing and my heart full of hurt and emptiness I know we are all going on this journey and these feelings are normal it's just one of them days I grieve for the victims and there families because of the actions of my son and what it has done to them I grieve for my son as he isn't living he is just existing he doesn't want to carry on and has all but given up his life before and what his life will be like he deserves to be punished for what he has done and I do not condone his actions at all but he is my son so I will be there on this journey with him I think back to how I was before this horrendous journey and now I just go through each day in such sadness at work I am there and I listen to other people's problems and think if only you knew what I have going on it's almost like I feel jealous:-( I have never been like that before I see the hurt and devastation this has done to my other young adults how on earth did we end up in this!

Sorry for the long post of my self pity it's just a harder day today xx

Tornappart

Member since
December 2021

1 post

Posted Sat December 11, 2021 12:36pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Tue December 28, 2021 10:43am

Newlady

Member since
April 2021

644 posts

Posted Sat December 11, 2021 12:38pmReport post

I have days like that too, but just remember it's one day at a time. Are you receiving any therapy or help yourself?

Lola53

Member since
May 2021

269 posts

Posted Sat December 11, 2021 2:41pmReport post

Upset Mum, sending you a huge hug. Some days are worse than others, I felt like this earlier in the week but the last couple of days have been better. Overall I feel as if someone took a sledgehammer to my life and I know exactly what you mean about listening to other people and thinking 'if only you knew'.

You are so strong to be supporting your son as you are and I admire you for that; I am so angry with my son that although I'm supporting him in practical terms I'm not sure that I want a relationship with him in the long run.

Please do something nice for yourself today, get out in nature if you can. Keep checking in here for support and friendship, you know that we all understand completely what you're going through xx

Cloud

Member since
May 2021

153 posts

Posted Sat December 11, 2021 5:30pmReport post

Felt the same - really hard few days. Just sat in the car and wept earlier which I haven't don't for a while.

I had a couple of child-free hours so I ignored all my chores and snuggled in a duvet and watched Stacy Solomon organise other people's houses for a bit before setting to work on my own. Bizarrely therapeutic.

You will get through this xx hard days are so hard xx be kind to yourself however you can x

Dawn14

Member since
June 2021

472 posts

Posted Sat December 11, 2021 6:42pmReport post

Hi,

Sorry ur feeling low today sending love and hugs to u xxxx

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sat December 11, 2021 7:17pmReport post

Thank you all so much I took the dog out for a nice long walk xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Sat December 11, 2021 9:37pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun December 12, 2021 11:54am

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sun December 12, 2021 10:21amReport post

Morning Smile

Thank you

It is heartbreaking my son is on remand and sentancing isn't until Feb I think once he is moved he will be able to focus on getting through this (I hope) but the pain is unbearable at times

I am fortunate that I have visits with him as hard as they are as i just want to bring him home :-(



Sending hugs to you xx

Smile through tears

Member since
September 2021

2546 posts

Posted Sun December 12, 2021 11:53amReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun December 12, 2021 5:41pm

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2396 posts

Posted Sun December 12, 2021 4:11pmReport post

Hi Smile

He has been RUI for 16 months and on remand for 11+ weeks

The visits are difficult but it's all we have for now and phone calls xx

You do what is right for you and your son and like you say things could change in the future

This journey is hell and we cant do anything about it except get through each day xx