How I can find the power to survive till he back
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Hi
My story just begun 3 months ago and from this time I am lost.
I met my partner 12years ago in UK (he is white British). I never thought that one day I will fall in love and decide to stay here for good. I still love him with all my heart. We have a 3 years old boy together. I don't know how to go through all of this what is just around the corner.
8 of September police took my OH for interview and since this time he is away. Ss finish the case and passed this to CIN till the investigation will finish. At the moment he have supervised contact with his son but I still waiting for him to come back for good.
Police took some devices for checking and in first process they didn't find there anything but they ask judge to going into them deeper. I ask my partner if maybe something there he said no but leaving in this is so hard. My little boy is missing his dad so much. I am still working full time just to keep my mind away from this but question is for how long I will have to push myself to the limit just to seen him open the door and come back to us....
I am destroyed...I know I have to be strong for our boy but will we have our family back again one day..
My story just begun 3 months ago and from this time I am lost.
I met my partner 12years ago in UK (he is white British). I never thought that one day I will fall in love and decide to stay here for good. I still love him with all my heart. We have a 3 years old boy together. I don't know how to go through all of this what is just around the corner.
8 of September police took my OH for interview and since this time he is away. Ss finish the case and passed this to CIN till the investigation will finish. At the moment he have supervised contact with his son but I still waiting for him to come back for good.
Police took some devices for checking and in first process they didn't find there anything but they ask judge to going into them deeper. I ask my partner if maybe something there he said no but leaving in this is so hard. My little boy is missing his dad so much. I am still working full time just to keep my mind away from this but question is for how long I will have to push myself to the limit just to seen him open the door and come back to us....
I am destroyed...I know I have to be strong for our boy but will we have our family back again one day..
Hi there, I'm so sorry you are here, what was your husband interviewed for? Keep strong you'll have good days and bad, try and be kind to yourself.
Hi
He was on chat group talking to people. Than he received some video and pictures of kids. Instead of raport the people he decided pass this to others. Now he have pay the price for this what he has done. I didn't knew anything about this till the day of this police visit.... I was shocked and I am still struggling to understand why .... this hurts...I am here on my own and he is my only family... I have chosen him for being father of our boy because I thought that the one who can be the best....I am so scared about our future...
He was on chat group talking to people. Than he received some video and pictures of kids. Instead of raport the people he decided pass this to others. Now he have pay the price for this what he has done. I didn't knew anything about this till the day of this police visit.... I was shocked and I am still struggling to understand why .... this hurts...I am here on my own and he is my only family... I have chosen him for being father of our boy because I thought that the one who can be the best....I am so scared about our future...
Hi Polish bird, many on this group have had the painful experience of finding out our partner has been online and accessing illegal images. I would recommend you talk to him and find out what has been going on with him, how he got into this situation.
It's normal to be confused about your feelings for your partner at this time, I am still reeling after over a year and struggle to understand why. I now realise I may never really know the truth and have to decide if I can live with him while not knowing.
Just hang in there, you and your son will survive this, maybe with your partner, maybe without. Unfortunately the legal process is long, slow and frustrating.
There are lots of good people here who can give you advice and support.
It's normal to be confused about your feelings for your partner at this time, I am still reeling after over a year and struggle to understand why. I now realise I may never really know the truth and have to decide if I can live with him while not knowing.
Just hang in there, you and your son will survive this, maybe with your partner, maybe without. Unfortunately the legal process is long, slow and frustrating.
There are lots of good people here who can give you advice and support.
Hello,
I can't give you any advice, but I can tell you that you are not alone (although it really does feel like it!). It is my limited understanding that usually it is the checking of devices that takes a while, (when they have time to get to them), then the report they write will go to CPS, who will decide if it will go to court. After court he will be sentenced, if they didn't find anything on devices, it might be a suspended sentence and placed on sex offenders register. Passing on images is worse than just storing downloaded images, but but there's no way to tell what will happen. The officer in charge of my husbands case has been really open and honest at every step, he's told me the potential outcome after each new suprise ( downloaded images, making images, contact). If you do have any friends here, tell at least one. It makes it easier if you have some one to talk to.
I can't give you any advice, but I can tell you that you are not alone (although it really does feel like it!). It is my limited understanding that usually it is the checking of devices that takes a while, (when they have time to get to them), then the report they write will go to CPS, who will decide if it will go to court. After court he will be sentenced, if they didn't find anything on devices, it might be a suspended sentence and placed on sex offenders register. Passing on images is worse than just storing downloaded images, but but there's no way to tell what will happen. The officer in charge of my husbands case has been really open and honest at every step, he's told me the potential outcome after each new suprise ( downloaded images, making images, contact). If you do have any friends here, tell at least one. It makes it easier if you have some one to talk to.
Hi Nown
Thank you very much
Any idea if he will be able back home if he will get suspended sentence?
I am hardly understand my feelings at the moment...I am scared and worried about our future. In one moment I hate him for this what he has done and can't understand why he was so selfish and didn't think of me and his son... In same time I love him and I am hoping that his son will able have full lovely family this is so strange and difficult....
Thank you very much
Any idea if he will be able back home if he will get suspended sentence?
I am hardly understand my feelings at the moment...I am scared and worried about our future. In one moment I hate him for this what he has done and can't understand why he was so selfish and didn't think of me and his son... In same time I love him and I am hoping that his son will able have full lovely family this is so strange and difficult....
I don't know if he will be able to live at home, I think social services will decide if your boy is at risk.
Hi lee1969
Yes ss was contact with me straight away on same day. They finished already the case and passed me and my little son to CIN till the investigation will finish. My son have a supervised contact with dad at the moment. My partner is on bail till his devices will deep check...
Yes ss was contact with me straight away on same day. They finished already the case and passed me and my little son to CIN till the investigation will finish. My son have a supervised contact with dad at the moment. My partner is on bail till his devices will deep check...
At the moment he is not allowed to have any contact with kids under 18. His bail is end in June .
First 2 months he wasn't seeing his son at all and after this he started this supervised contact.
First 2 months he wasn't seeing his son at all and after this he started this supervised contact.
One of his family member is supervised this visit and we can't do it in our home as CIN are worrying that we may try stretch the time as at the moment he got only 2 hours per week. They already told us that he will get some more hours so we have to find another person to support the visit .
I told them that I would be happy to keep eye on him during this visit but CIN is telling that we are in relationship so this is not good idea and this is the reason why I can't be the one....
The police told my partner that he can back home to support me in house work but only then when my son isn't there.
I read lots of stories here and I am so disappointed that I can't supervised this visits....and still I am not getting why I can't do it....
The police told my partner that he can back home to support me in house work but only then when my son isn't there.
I read lots of stories here and I am so disappointed that I can't supervised this visits....and still I am not getting why I can't do it....
I wish to believe that next Christmas we can be together again....
How has your day been Polish Bird? I hope you and your son have found some enjoyment in the day. Were you able to speak with or see your partner ? I am not a Mum but I can imagine how hard it is to make Christmas special for your son when you miss his Dad so much. I send best wishes to you and hope you are re-united as a family soon.
Hi Judith
Thank you ...I did everything just to make my little son happy ... wasn't easy but he was smiling and we was seen his Daddy today...this only 2hours but my heart was melting. He didn't want to back home without him and have been crying on way back but I believe that one day we will together again xxx Merry Christmas to you xxx
Thank you ...I did everything just to make my little son happy ... wasn't easy but he was smiling and we was seen his Daddy today...this only 2hours but my heart was melting. He didn't want to back home without him and have been crying on way back but I believe that one day we will together again xxx Merry Christmas to you xxx
Is there any further for our little family....will he able to back home and look like his son is growing....will we family again.... I hope that new year will bring me some answers and we will go to seaside with our little boy one day again....
Hi lost123
Thank you very much for this reply and bit of hope. I can't stop my tears running now but it is the best Christmas gift this year xxx
Send you big hug
And wish you all the best in New year x
Thank you again very much xxx
Thank you very much for this reply and bit of hope. I can't stop my tears running now but it is the best Christmas gift this year xxx
Send you big hug
And wish you all the best in New year x
Thank you again very much xxx
Hi lee1969
Thank you for your time and support x
You are a treasury of knowledge x
This group give me the light in the darkness and I gonna do everything what possible to make my home safe and happy for my little son...
Thank you very much and Happy New Year Angel x
Thank you for your time and support x
You are a treasury of knowledge x
This group give me the light in the darkness and I gonna do everything what possible to make my home safe and happy for my little son...
Thank you very much and Happy New Year Angel x
Hi all
Just a little update on my journey...
In a week time his bail will over and than he will on RUI. We are on CIN plan at the moment. I have done safeguarding course . Safety plan is ready if is needed and now I just need this hope that CIN will close the case and let him back to us.
He have done some stop so course...and also have counselling therapy...but is it all enough to have him with me and my little boy?
I am scared and worried but this little hope that this gonna happen give me a power for another day, another week, another month...
Just a little update on my journey...
In a week time his bail will over and than he will on RUI. We are on CIN plan at the moment. I have done safeguarding course . Safety plan is ready if is needed and now I just need this hope that CIN will close the case and let him back to us.
He have done some stop so course...and also have counselling therapy...but is it all enough to have him with me and my little boy?
I am scared and worried but this little hope that this gonna happen give me a power for another day, another week, another month...
Thank you for replying lost123 ...
Anyway my hope just gone and I am flooding in tears again... his bail was extended for another 3 moths...this is 4th time like this..15 mothsin total and God now if this is the last time like this...look like another Christmas on my own and with supervised visits every second week as the person who is doing this cannot do it often.... I can't understand why... it is very hard lonely journey for me and my son....
I wish be able to do something....just for my little son...
Anyway my hope just gone and I am flooding in tears again... his bail was extended for another 3 moths...this is 4th time like this..15 mothsin total and God now if this is the last time like this...look like another Christmas on my own and with supervised visits every second week as the person who is doing this cannot do it often.... I can't understand why... it is very hard lonely journey for me and my son....
I wish be able to do something....just for my little son...
Hi Lost123
All the information what I have are from the beginning and than he was charged for passing cat A picture to someone...since than no update apart this that devices are still not checked and the first check was clear and did not show anything at all...
My little one is at nursery at the moment and he will start school next year... I am worried if I will able to find right school and holiday club for him as I am full time working...I am tired but keep myself busy is the best way for me now...
CIN service is tick the boxes and look like they do not care of give us any support...I am working from 8 till 16.30 so they do not have anyone who can help with supervised contact my son and his dad as they not provide any weekends service and in place where we live is non of them either...
My OH brother offer a help with this meeting...and on the beginning this was once per week for 2 hours...now he decides to cut this time to only every second weekend as he said he is busy ( watching football etc as he is unemployed) ok...never mind...
When CIN decides to stretch the meeting time my OH mother offer her help but meeting with her supervising is over as she didn't like the way of me looking after my son ( I am too soft in her opinion and instead of explaining I should give this little one a smack so he will understand better....sorry I couldn't manage her arguments all the time and making this meeting awful so I told her thanks and I said it's over as my baby boy do not need extra stress)
And after whole this year was just need bit of hope that soon this horror will over...but look like not yet...
I try my best...I don't have time for any counselling but this little smile on my boy face gives me the power...I am just worried that one day will be too much and I will just lack of power for fighting of another day, week ,month...
I am sorry for so long post and probably lots of mistakes but English isn't my first language
Thanks for attention...
All the information what I have are from the beginning and than he was charged for passing cat A picture to someone...since than no update apart this that devices are still not checked and the first check was clear and did not show anything at all...
My little one is at nursery at the moment and he will start school next year... I am worried if I will able to find right school and holiday club for him as I am full time working...I am tired but keep myself busy is the best way for me now...
CIN service is tick the boxes and look like they do not care of give us any support...I am working from 8 till 16.30 so they do not have anyone who can help with supervised contact my son and his dad as they not provide any weekends service and in place where we live is non of them either...
My OH brother offer a help with this meeting...and on the beginning this was once per week for 2 hours...now he decides to cut this time to only every second weekend as he said he is busy ( watching football etc as he is unemployed) ok...never mind...
When CIN decides to stretch the meeting time my OH mother offer her help but meeting with her supervising is over as she didn't like the way of me looking after my son ( I am too soft in her opinion and instead of explaining I should give this little one a smack so he will understand better....sorry I couldn't manage her arguments all the time and making this meeting awful so I told her thanks and I said it's over as my baby boy do not need extra stress)
And after whole this year was just need bit of hope that soon this horror will over...but look like not yet...
I try my best...I don't have time for any counselling but this little smile on my boy face gives me the power...I am just worried that one day will be too much and I will just lack of power for fighting of another day, week ,month...
I am sorry for so long post and probably lots of mistakes but English isn't my first language
Thanks for attention...
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Hi lost123
Honestly I don't know how I was managed this last year...if someone will tell me one year ago that will take so long time I am sure that I would not believe that I can do it ..
I am here lonely and my family in Poland do not have a clue what I am going through now...I am so scared go there with my son because I am not sure if I will strong enough to face the questions why my OH is not with us...and also I don't wanna make them worried about me...
I know that is so naive but everything what I need at the moment is that someone will tell me no worries soon he will back and this is last time when this bail is extended so I will have to manage new facts and stop over thinking when nothing is for sure....
I am not sure if I am ready for this what is around the corner but I am sure that whatever will be will make me stronger and I will find way to keep my little son happy...
At the moment one day is better another worse but I hate the filling when I can not plan anything as I don't know time limit ...absolutely limbo..land..
Honestly I don't know how I was managed this last year...if someone will tell me one year ago that will take so long time I am sure that I would not believe that I can do it ..
I am here lonely and my family in Poland do not have a clue what I am going through now...I am so scared go there with my son because I am not sure if I will strong enough to face the questions why my OH is not with us...and also I don't wanna make them worried about me...
I know that is so naive but everything what I need at the moment is that someone will tell me no worries soon he will back and this is last time when this bail is extended so I will have to manage new facts and stop over thinking when nothing is for sure....
I am not sure if I am ready for this what is around the corner but I am sure that whatever will be will make me stronger and I will find way to keep my little son happy...
At the moment one day is better another worse but I hate the filling when I can not plan anything as I don't know time limit ...absolutely limbo..land..
Thank you lost123
For this bit of hope...I think this little sparkle can keep up this fire ...
And I hope that one day I will back here to put better news of my journey and maybe give some hope for those who will need see the lights on the end of the tunnel....
Xxxx
For this bit of hope...I think this little sparkle can keep up this fire ...
And I hope that one day I will back here to put better news of my journey and maybe give some hope for those who will need see the lights on the end of the tunnel....
Xxxx