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Advice on getting husband home

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Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Fri December 17, 2021 8:10amReport post

We have a CIN meeting this morning to hopefully get oh home but I'm just wandering what anyone else has done to get their partner home in case it's something we could do if it doesn't go well today!

I have done a safeguarding course and have regular discussions with the children using NSPCC website tools and from Banardos, this has been backed up by safeguarding lead at school.

OH is waiting on courses for his probation so can't do anything there until they start, his PO said he has no objections to him moving home.

We had a new SW just after sentencing and she was completely different to our first, she said her aim is to get him home and close the case but said it's down to her manager.

his shpo has no restrictions on children so legally nothing stopping him from moving home but up until now we have tried to do everything right with SS.

just looking for advice from anyone who has gone through this and anyone who has gone against SS recommendations and what happened?

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Fri December 17, 2021 9:39amReport post

Thanks Lee

we have a safety plan and mental health which led to a drug addiction we're the main issues which he has addressed, attended a drug rehabilitation centre, completed courses with them and they have signed him off as they don't think they can offer him anything else, and is on waiting list for CBT

I literally can't think of anything else we can do and we have asked repeatedly but just told keep doing what we are doing

its a CIN plan and his SHPO only covers internet use so no restrictions legally would just be the risk of SS escalating us to CPP if we don't comply which I don't want but also don't want to not challenge them if they don't let him come home

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Sat December 18, 2021 5:28pmReport post

Thank you again Lee.

meeting went as well as we hoped, all agencies agreed he could come home but the SW manager has to agree so fingers crossed for next week, although I am arming myself in case they disagree in which case I think we will consider our next option

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Mon December 20, 2021 12:37pmReport post

Hi Lee sorry to bother you again but the manager is questioning how I can safeguard at night/ when I'm sleeping. Can I ask what you have in place or any suggestions?

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Mon December 20, 2021 4:27pmReport post

Thank you Lee I thought I'd read somewhere about using a camera.

our current SW is fantastic it's her manager that is reluctant to agree to him coming home questioning how I'll safeguard when I'm asleep (I've seen the email thread between my SW and her manager and she is really fighting our case).

I had suggested all of the above you mentioned so just hoping the manager will agree.

unfortunately our current sw is leaving this week so once again will see who we get next, this will be our third in 2 months, the first was awful and this one has been great so I'm desperate to get this sorted before she leaves as who knows what the next one will be like

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Mon December 20, 2021 9:39pmReport post

We are on a child in need plan and his shpo has no restrictions on children only internet based. That's why it's so frustrating especially as probation officer, his offender manager and our sw all say they have no issues with him returning home it's just got to be agreed by the sw's manager who has never met any of us!

I have seen the email thread between our sw and the manager and she is questioning how I will safeguard whilst sleeping but then doesn't give any further suggestions. I have responded suggesting a camera but as yet not heard anything else.

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Tue December 21, 2021 9:52amReport post

Thank you both for your replies.
I am hopeful we will get the manager to agree today but if not I think we will seriously be thinking about going against them, it's the children that are ultimately suffering not having their Dad at home particularly over Christmas.

Lee access is currently supervised by 1 appropriate adult (usually me) and no time limit just that he can't stay overnight.

Can I ask what should put in the safety plan? I have researched online and did one at the start of this but just want to make sure as you say it is fully robust.

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Thu December 23, 2021 2:05pmReport post

So the manager will not agree to him moving home as he has not completed his probation courses (with covid there is a delay so not down to us)

if he moves home they will escalate this to CPP and take legal advice

Need help/ guidance/ support what do I do??

Gardener93

Member since
May 2022

47 posts

Posted Thu May 19, 2022 11:07pmReport post

I've just picked up this thread - did you have any joy in getting him home yet?

Snoop29

Member since
August 2021

54 posts

Posted Tue May 24, 2022 7:22amReport post

Hi Gardener

Yes he is home but SS wanted a staggered reintroduction so started at 2 nights, then 3, now at 4 nights and will eventually full time (increases are approx every 4 weeks) so nearly there.

We stuck with what ss asked and it's been a very long road with them continually moving the goal posts. We have now had 3 sw's and the reasons for him not being able to come home have repeatedly changed, 1st how would I supervise at night, 2nd he hadn't started his probation course (not our fault) and 3rd because he hadn't 'lived' in the family home for such a long time they were concerned for how our relationship would cope hence the staggered reintroduction, despite this never coming up before in any conversation and the fact he had stayed at the family home on occasions where the children had slept elsewhere like if I was on a night out or we had been out together.