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We had the knock on the door in September 2020, my husband had been using the KIK app, his devices were taken but was released on investigation. He was completely honest with me and went through some counselling.
Since then we have had a baby and have been living our lives, he has just had a second interview and has a court date. Some extreme porn photos, with animals and he had opened some iioc. 9 images in total.
we haven't been referred to ss and was wondering if we should self refer ourselves? Would this make the situation better for us? I am so terrified of every possible outcome, it going on social media and everyone finding out, him going to prison and having to leave us, or ss putting restrictions in place and him having to leave.
I understand this may happen but struggling to cope with the unknowns of it all.
Since then we have had a baby and have been living our lives, he has just had a second interview and has a court date. Some extreme porn photos, with animals and he had opened some iioc. 9 images in total.
we haven't been referred to ss and was wondering if we should self refer ourselves? Would this make the situation better for us? I am so terrified of every possible outcome, it going on social media and everyone finding out, him going to prison and having to leave us, or ss putting restrictions in place and him having to leave.
I understand this may happen but struggling to cope with the unknowns of it all.
Hi GZ,
I would say it's very likely social services will become involved at the point of sentencing as there are autonatic referrals at this point.
Personally I think I would be worth a call to them to explain and show that you have a good understanding and awareness and you're looking to safeguard your child above all else.
However i had a very good experience with social services and I know many others have not.
The risk is that they then say your partner can't live in the family home until they have assessed the situation.
I know this isn't massively helpful, but think it's worth being aware of a possible outcome.
I think it's a very personal choice but whatever you choose I'd recommend having a safety plan and a good understanding of how you can protect your child (and partner from false accusuations) no matter how unlikely you think it is that he would harm his child.
Good luck with everything x
I would say it's very likely social services will become involved at the point of sentencing as there are autonatic referrals at this point.
Personally I think I would be worth a call to them to explain and show that you have a good understanding and awareness and you're looking to safeguard your child above all else.
However i had a very good experience with social services and I know many others have not.
The risk is that they then say your partner can't live in the family home until they have assessed the situation.
I know this isn't massively helpful, but think it's worth being aware of a possible outcome.
I think it's a very personal choice but whatever you choose I'd recommend having a safety plan and a good understanding of how you can protect your child (and partner from false accusuations) no matter how unlikely you think it is that he would harm his child.
Good luck with everything x
Hi,
Thanks for your reply. I have seen lots of people mention a safety plan on here, where can I go to find out how to write one and what I should include in it,
thanks
Thanks for your reply. I have seen lots of people mention a safety plan on here, where can I go to find out how to write one and what I should include in it,
thanks
The thread that lee1969 has just bumped up called "can social services lie" has lots of advice.
A safety plan is basically considering any time or circumstances that someone could in theory commit a contact offences with your child and putting in measures to prevent any possibility whatsoever.
Things like not doing personal care, supervision rather than unsupervised access, support networks, what will you do for doctors appointments, bedtimes, what to do I you have concerns etc. Very personal to your own lives and schedules showing that you recognise potential risks and have done something to either remove or minimise the risk..
A safety plan is basically considering any time or circumstances that someone could in theory commit a contact offences with your child and putting in measures to prevent any possibility whatsoever.
Things like not doing personal care, supervision rather than unsupervised access, support networks, what will you do for doctors appointments, bedtimes, what to do I you have concerns etc. Very personal to your own lives and schedules showing that you recognise potential risks and have done something to either remove or minimise the risk..