Feeling angry/hurt
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How do you start to come to terms with what your loved one as done?
I am totally broken I want to hide in my bedroom and never come out again,but I know thats not the answer.
He as just shattered his and our lives and I know I can't fix well not fully.
How do I feel angry hurt a failure and more but at the end of the day he is my son and even though at this particular time I detest him I also love him I want to wrap my arms around him and say its okay like I did when he was a child.
I think I need answers that he as tried to tell me but I can't fully understand at the moment
I'm not asking for sympathy I'm just hoping that someone reads this and maybe help me figure out the next steps.
Thank you
Confused parent
I am totally broken I want to hide in my bedroom and never come out again,but I know thats not the answer.
He as just shattered his and our lives and I know I can't fix well not fully.
How do I feel angry hurt a failure and more but at the end of the day he is my son and even though at this particular time I detest him I also love him I want to wrap my arms around him and say its okay like I did when he was a child.
I think I need answers that he as tried to tell me but I can't fully understand at the moment
I'm not asking for sympathy I'm just hoping that someone reads this and maybe help me figure out the next steps.
Thank you
Confused parent
Hi mum 50
I'm also here because of my son and have a constant battle of emotions spiralling around my head.
It's been 10 months for us and I still struggle a lot and feel conflicting emotions. I just wanted to tell you I understand and it is entirely normal to feel this whirlwind of different things.
All I can really suggest is trying to find someone you can confide in, be that a friend, family member, counsellor or even by writing it down. Some way to allow yourself time to acknowledge and process all those emotions. Also be patient with yourself, accept how you are feeling and allow yourself as much time as you need to heal.
I love my son unconditionally but am also deeply frustrated angry and hurt by his actions.
Sending love x
I'm also here because of my son and have a constant battle of emotions spiralling around my head.
It's been 10 months for us and I still struggle a lot and feel conflicting emotions. I just wanted to tell you I understand and it is entirely normal to feel this whirlwind of different things.
All I can really suggest is trying to find someone you can confide in, be that a friend, family member, counsellor or even by writing it down. Some way to allow yourself time to acknowledge and process all those emotions. Also be patient with yourself, accept how you are feeling and allow yourself as much time as you need to heal.
I love my son unconditionally but am also deeply frustrated angry and hurt by his actions.
Sending love x
Hi Grace hush
Thank you so much for your reply mine is very raw at the moment due to just finding out 2 days ago.
He as already lost his job which he just managed to get what he loved doing.
Yes I have every scenario going round in my head.
Lucky to be told about this group I think it might be a life saver.
I cant confide in anyone at the chance of losing there friendship.
I did think of phoning the help line
Thank you so much again for your reply means a lot.
Best wishes x
Thank you so much for your reply mine is very raw at the moment due to just finding out 2 days ago.
He as already lost his job which he just managed to get what he loved doing.
Yes I have every scenario going round in my head.
Lucky to be told about this group I think it might be a life saver.
I cant confide in anyone at the chance of losing there friendship.
I did think of phoning the help line
Thank you so much again for your reply means a lot.
Best wishes x
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Mum50 - I'm also here because of my son and my heart hurts for you. Has this only just happened? If so, the first thing to do is go to the 'Understanding why' part of the forum and find a post called 'Advice for new members on surviving those early days' - it's currently on page 2. Read it, it's invaluable.
After that, don't make any hasty decisions, don't tell anyone until things have settled down a little and, most importantly, look after yourself - remember the adage 'you can't pour from an empty cup'.
Everyone on here is amazing - we are all hurt and scared and we all totally understand what you're going through. You will find practical support as well as emotional; please come and talk to us all because it really helps.
Huge hugs x
After that, don't make any hasty decisions, don't tell anyone until things have settled down a little and, most importantly, look after yourself - remember the adage 'you can't pour from an empty cup'.
Everyone on here is amazing - we are all hurt and scared and we all totally understand what you're going through. You will find practical support as well as emotional; please come and talk to us all because it really helps.
Huge hugs x
Thank you all so much I honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to read my post and answer.
I dont think anybody thinks it's going to be that knock.
But now I just need to be strong I just need to come to terms with what he's done also how I face others if it gets out selfish I know but he is my flesh and bloody and like someone else replied my love in unconditional thats a mother I think.
Hard as it seems I know deep down he is not a bad person he as got lost somewhere along the line hated himself no self estem and he turned to somethink that was horrid and very ugly.
I just hope there will be an answer to all this until then I will be here to help him only if he helps himself.
I cant believe I found this group thank you all for listening reading and replying.x
I dont think anybody thinks it's going to be that knock.
But now I just need to be strong I just need to come to terms with what he's done also how I face others if it gets out selfish I know but he is my flesh and bloody and like someone else replied my love in unconditional thats a mother I think.
Hard as it seems I know deep down he is not a bad person he as got lost somewhere along the line hated himself no self estem and he turned to somethink that was horrid and very ugly.
I just hope there will be an answer to all this until then I will be here to help him only if he helps himself.
I cant believe I found this group thank you all for listening reading and replying.x
Evening Mum50
I am also here because of my son and totally understand how you are feeling its 16+ months for us he is also on remand until sentancing next year
Just a living nightmare each day
Just wanted to send you a hug xx
I am also here because of my son and totally understand how you are feeling its 16+ months for us he is also on remand until sentancing next year
Just a living nightmare each day
Just wanted to send you a hug xx
Thank you all will take a look at the other pages and hope to get some sort of answers or at least try and understand.
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Hi Maij, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a difficult few days - this time of year really doesn't help, does it? I listened to a great podcast which talked about happiness not being linear, that we need to find happiness in the everyday, and I'm really trying to do that - a nice walk, a good cup of tea, anything really! And I'm trying to embrace Christmas as I would usually because it's going to happen with or without me so I might as well enjoy it.
Hope you're OK but am thinking of you xx
Hope you're OK but am thinking of you xx
I really don't know how to embrace Christmas at all I have my son here with us I can't leave him by himself due to harming himself, am I being naive I don't know but christmas day I'm at my daughters where he is not invited I understand her completely I'm looking forward spending time with my grandchildren but I know he will be by himself.
I know he is to blame but it's a mother's love that I still have.
Yesterday was a better day today not as good I know I will be having these emotions for a long time.
I just hope you all don't get up of me rambling
X
I know he is to blame but it's a mother's love that I still have.
Yesterday was a better day today not as good I know I will be having these emotions for a long time.
I just hope you all don't get up of me rambling
X
Mum50, we won't get fed up of you rambling - we all understand here. I have said before how I wish we could all sit and have coffee and talk. I have two amazing friends that know about my situation, but I didn't tell them for a long time - they are a lifeline if ever I need to ramble!
Take care of yourself xx
Take care of yourself xx
Grace Hush, sorry to ask but you said in another post that your son received NFA, could I ask what the charges were/would have been? xx
Hi it has taken me 6 days to get the courage to write on here. My son was arrested last Tuesday and ever since I am really struggling to cope. I have a constant sick feeling and feel like my life is over. I am struggling to see a way forward from this. I have a counselling session booked for tomorrow but today is such a bad day for me.