Struggling since my ex got the knock
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Hi All,
My very first post!
My ex got the knock in September and since I don't think much time has gone by when it hasn't been on my mind. He was arrested for looking at indecent images online and distribution in chat rooms of images. On the knock his electronic devices were seized. We have a Son together who is 15 and he still wants contact with his Dad. So we've had social services round who said I need to supervise contact! I expected to have some sort of support?! So we've awkwardly met up with him out in public about 6 times now. We broke up over 8 years ago, He was emotionally abusive towards me hence the split. I did tell social services this but the SW said it's either that or our son doesn't get to see his Dad. I would have been happy with this but they said this when my son was in the room that I could supervise so that's what I'm now doing. My ex has remarried and has a young daughter he is not allowed to stay at his family home overnight and not allowed any unsupervised contact with children. I'm just struggling as he is saying it's all a mistake. Would the police knock on his door and put restrictions in place that look like they are going to last for months if he had done nothing wrong?
All this is making me ill. I just hope this is sorted one way or another sooner rather than later.
Thanks Flo
My very first post!
My ex got the knock in September and since I don't think much time has gone by when it hasn't been on my mind. He was arrested for looking at indecent images online and distribution in chat rooms of images. On the knock his electronic devices were seized. We have a Son together who is 15 and he still wants contact with his Dad. So we've had social services round who said I need to supervise contact! I expected to have some sort of support?! So we've awkwardly met up with him out in public about 6 times now. We broke up over 8 years ago, He was emotionally abusive towards me hence the split. I did tell social services this but the SW said it's either that or our son doesn't get to see his Dad. I would have been happy with this but they said this when my son was in the room that I could supervise so that's what I'm now doing. My ex has remarried and has a young daughter he is not allowed to stay at his family home overnight and not allowed any unsupervised contact with children. I'm just struggling as he is saying it's all a mistake. Would the police knock on his door and put restrictions in place that look like they are going to last for months if he had done nothing wrong?
All this is making me ill. I just hope this is sorted one way or another sooner rather than later.
Thanks Flo
Hi Flo,
Im so sorry to hear your story. We got the knock in Jan for (now-ex) husband possession IIOC.
That sounds so challenging having to support and feeling pressured into it by SS. It sounds like you are an amazing mum to be able to go ahead and put your child's needs to see his father ahead of your own feelings. I hope you have someone you can talk to about it all and support you.
I supervised visits for months until ex lost his job and was able to see kids on a day when they're at their grandparents (who had spoken to SS). Is there anyone who could supervise instead of you?
Sorry I can't help but just wanted to say I hear you xx
Im so sorry to hear your story. We got the knock in Jan for (now-ex) husband possession IIOC.
That sounds so challenging having to support and feeling pressured into it by SS. It sounds like you are an amazing mum to be able to go ahead and put your child's needs to see his father ahead of your own feelings. I hope you have someone you can talk to about it all and support you.
I supervised visits for months until ex lost his job and was able to see kids on a day when they're at their grandparents (who had spoken to SS). Is there anyone who could supervise instead of you?
Sorry I can't help but just wanted to say I hear you xx
I'm sorry you've been put in that position, it must be really tough.
It sounds like you're an amazing mum and it's deeply unfair that you've been put in that position.
Could you ask a member of your family to supervise perhaps? Or maybe look at contact centres?
I'm unsure what other options are available but you could try talking to social services, let them know that you're struggling with the arrangement but that you believe its in your son's best interests to have contact and ask them about alternative options.
It sounds like you're an amazing mum and it's deeply unfair that you've been put in that position.
Could you ask a member of your family to supervise perhaps? Or maybe look at contact centres?
I'm unsure what other options are available but you could try talking to social services, let them know that you're struggling with the arrangement but that you believe its in your son's best interests to have contact and ask them about alternative options.
Hi ladies, thank you for your replies. Our experience so far with social workers has been pretty awful. They've advised that unless I supervise our son won't see his dad as there isn't the resource for social services to supervise in our area! My ex has suggested his wife's family supervise contact but I don't know them and feel it's a conflict of interests. They are backing my ex 100%. My ex keeps telling me this is all a big mistake and with the limited info I have I'm trying to be positive for our sons sake. Who knows what the future will bring !