Today was a better day
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I'm very new to this a week for my son only 4 days for the family World come crashing down have had so many thoughts and still so many questions today I felt a little normal again I know it won't last but it wS just nice to feel.
I was wondering how you all coped did you bombard them with questions did you want all the answers straight away did you demand they told you.
Do I want to know ? Do I need to know? I'm a person that needs to speak about my feelings where my husband won't.
So who do I talk to I can't tell my friends not yet I can't risk the fact they may not talk to me again.
As much as my daughter as been my rock I can not keep burdening her she as enough on her plate with her family.
We had a small knit family which now as been torn apart will I ever get it back I really hope so.
I just feel so scared of what is ahead.
Thank you if you have read this I just need to tell someone.
And I will write this in my notebook too and hopefully over the coming months it can read back and see how far I have come
X
I was wondering how you all coped did you bombard them with questions did you want all the answers straight away did you demand they told you.
Do I want to know ? Do I need to know? I'm a person that needs to speak about my feelings where my husband won't.
So who do I talk to I can't tell my friends not yet I can't risk the fact they may not talk to me again.
As much as my daughter as been my rock I can not keep burdening her she as enough on her plate with her family.
We had a small knit family which now as been torn apart will I ever get it back I really hope so.
I just feel so scared of what is ahead.
Thank you if you have read this I just need to tell someone.
And I will write this in my notebook too and hopefully over the coming months it can read back and see how far I have come
X
I tried not to bombard with questions - partly because I didn't want the answers - but we walked and talked a lot. I found walking good because you're not face to face and it's more neutral. But I would just try to be calm, not rush anything, support your son and read everything you can about this xx
Lola 53
Thank you so much for your words
I actually walked out with him today and yes found it easier to talk .
I dont want to know yet I need time to digested what I know already but I do think he needs to be true to himself before he can talk to me.
I'm not making any excuse for him but somewhere when I look at him I see my son there so I will help all I can
Thank-you fir answering
X
Thank you so much for your words
I actually walked out with him today and yes found it easier to talk .
I dont want to know yet I need time to digested what I know already but I do think he needs to be true to himself before he can talk to me.
I'm not making any excuse for him but somewhere when I look at him I see my son there so I will help all I can
Thank-you fir answering
X
Evening Mum50
After the knock your left with a leaflet (I didn't know at the time how important this was it led me to this forum) and you realise how many of us are effected by our loved ones
When my son was brought home late the first night I just hugged him so tight and let him do the talking lots of tears and the reality of this whole journey
The last 16+ months has been a rollercoaster of emotions and highlighted more that he is now on remand
I have spoke to 2 friends and to be honest I was dreading it but wow the emotions I was feeling went as they have been amazing non judgemental and very supportive
I am walking this journey with my son it's the unconditional love we have
I do not condone what he has done by no means but he needs our support as he has lost so much already and we have a long journey ahead
Each day at a time
Sending hugs xx
After the knock your left with a leaflet (I didn't know at the time how important this was it led me to this forum) and you realise how many of us are effected by our loved ones
When my son was brought home late the first night I just hugged him so tight and let him do the talking lots of tears and the reality of this whole journey
The last 16+ months has been a rollercoaster of emotions and highlighted more that he is now on remand
I have spoke to 2 friends and to be honest I was dreading it but wow the emotions I was feeling went as they have been amazing non judgemental and very supportive
I am walking this journey with my son it's the unconditional love we have
I do not condone what he has done by no means but he needs our support as he has lost so much already and we have a long journey ahead
Each day at a time
Sending hugs xx
We have our son home living with at the moment more fir his safety and his mental health he is mire relaxed today which makes me feel he is blocking it out denial maybe.
I want to shake him and hug him at the same time
My husband just sits and says little which really annoys me.
He won't even talk to me about it.
I have my daughter which is great but she is so hurt and disappointed by him she can not bring herself to forgive him having 2 young children herself that actually loved their uncle I can understand her.
I really don't know if I can carry on as normal I feel sick.
I go to bed and when I do sleep I wake up then it hits me again.
how do you carry on knowing there is an outcome at the end of this.
X
He as lost all this for something that I can not get my head around
I want to shake him and hug him at the same time
My husband just sits and says little which really annoys me.
He won't even talk to me about it.
I have my daughter which is great but she is so hurt and disappointed by him she can not bring herself to forgive him having 2 young children herself that actually loved their uncle I can understand her.
I really don't know if I can carry on as normal I feel sick.
I go to bed and when I do sleep I wake up then it hits me again.
how do you carry on knowing there is an outcome at the end of this.
X
He as lost all this for something that I can not get my head around
Mum50
This is still so new to you so your feelings will be all over the place
Your son is probably still in a state of shock of what's happened but he is home with you and it is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions
My daughter is my rock I am very lucky to have her it's just the worst feeling in the world and a journey of such uncertainty
My son is in my thoughts constantly when I go to bed and when I wake up it dosent stop and we are 16+ months in to this
All.we can do is get through a day at a time please take care of yourself
Tomorrow will be so difficult for everyone but we will get through it
Hugs sent xx
This is still so new to you so your feelings will be all over the place
Your son is probably still in a state of shock of what's happened but he is home with you and it is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions
My daughter is my rock I am very lucky to have her it's just the worst feeling in the world and a journey of such uncertainty
My son is in my thoughts constantly when I go to bed and when I wake up it dosent stop and we are 16+ months in to this
All.we can do is get through a day at a time please take care of yourself
Tomorrow will be so difficult for everyone but we will get through it
Hugs sent xx
Thank you so much for replying
I'm a emotional wreck gin does not help but I'm home at least.
Yes tomorrow will be hard I know but I'm going to see my 2 gorgeous grandchildren so I'm lucky.
Son will be at ours by himself it hurts but then I know he never thought of me when he done what he did x
Merry Christmas xx
I'm a emotional wreck gin does not help but I'm home at least.
Yes tomorrow will be hard I know but I'm going to see my 2 gorgeous grandchildren so I'm lucky.
Son will be at ours by himself it hurts but then I know he never thought of me when he done what he did x
Merry Christmas xx
Mum50
I don't think they realise what destruction there actions cause because they get so lost in what they do it's a persona they take on because behind the screen they become a different person they are not the boys we brought in to the world and loved and neutered but someone who is confident because they self loathe themselves it's not an excuse its reality the web has a.lot to answer for but it dosent excuse what they have done but as mums we don't give up.if I could exchange my life for his I would in a heartbeat xx
I don't think they realise what destruction there actions cause because they get so lost in what they do it's a persona they take on because behind the screen they become a different person they are not the boys we brought in to the world and loved and neutered but someone who is confident because they self loathe themselves it's not an excuse its reality the web has a.lot to answer for but it dosent excuse what they have done but as mums we don't give up.if I could exchange my life for his I would in a heartbeat xx
Upset mum
I could not have but that better myself.
Your words are so true.
Thank you x
I could not have but that better myself.
Your words are so true.
Thank you x
Mum50
This group gives me a reason to get up and to be a voice of this horrendous journey that we have to.live through each day I could just stay in bed and grieve for the son I lost but if we give up what hope do they have they are I'll it's not an excuse but after talking to my my son he hates that person he became bit he got lost no excuse but I know he was mentally unstable he is at an all time.low and its hurts because we want to take away the pain and we cant it's a shit journey to be on but yet you all.give me.the Strength to keep.on going xx
This group gives me a reason to get up and to be a voice of this horrendous journey that we have to.live through each day I could just stay in bed and grieve for the son I lost but if we give up what hope do they have they are I'll it's not an excuse but after talking to my my son he hates that person he became bit he got lost no excuse but I know he was mentally unstable he is at an all time.low and its hurts because we want to take away the pain and we cant it's a shit journey to be on but yet you all.give me.the Strength to keep.on going xx
Upset Mum.Mom 50
I can relate to you both so much, my son has been in custody since last December but thankfully he will be coming home in March. Even now I am trying to figure out what happened, will I ever find the answer. At the moment i just want him home, he is my only child and i miss him so much.
Keep strong ladies.
I can relate to you both so much, my son has been in custody since last December but thankfully he will be coming home in March. Even now I am trying to figure out what happened, will I ever find the answer. At the moment i just want him home, he is my only child and i miss him so much.
Keep strong ladies.
Fatso
Sending hugs xx
As hard as it is you have a light grab it with all your might hold him close tell him it will be ok as hard as it will be these is hope xx
Sending hugs xx
As hard as it is you have a light grab it with all your might hold him close tell him it will be ok as hard as it will be these is hope xx
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Thank you ladies
Im lying here in bed knowing I have to force myself to get up.
I'm having to leave my son today and see my other family half of me wants to stay home here with him but I know I need to be with my daughter and grandchildren today.
Should I stay should I go my grandchildren would be devastated if I didn't and they are a big part that Is holding me together.
I have read all your replies and I do relate to them all I know my son is not bad somewhere in there is my little boy I am just so sad he chose not to love himself and went down a dark path .
Not even a week yet and I have got so long to go.
I have decided for the next to 2 days to leave the questions.
But from then on ladies I really would like some help in the direction of getting help for him plus how to get a job will he need a solicitor so much in my head I think I need to take one at a time.
So Merry Christmas to you all whereever you may be today sending you all my best wishes X
Im lying here in bed knowing I have to force myself to get up.
I'm having to leave my son today and see my other family half of me wants to stay home here with him but I know I need to be with my daughter and grandchildren today.
Should I stay should I go my grandchildren would be devastated if I didn't and they are a big part that Is holding me together.
I have read all your replies and I do relate to them all I know my son is not bad somewhere in there is my little boy I am just so sad he chose not to love himself and went down a dark path .
Not even a week yet and I have got so long to go.
I have decided for the next to 2 days to leave the questions.
But from then on ladies I really would like some help in the direction of getting help for him plus how to get a job will he need a solicitor so much in my head I think I need to take one at a time.
So Merry Christmas to you all whereever you may be today sending you all my best wishes X
How your comment mum50 struck a chord.:
"he chose not to love himself and go down a dark path"
sums up perfectly how I feel my boy got in this mess....
"he chose not to love himself and go down a dark path"
sums up perfectly how I feel my boy got in this mess....
Smile through the tears
What a sad and horrendous time we are having to endure.
I sit and look at my son trying to figure out when and why this started but he is the one with those answers I am wanting him to be trueful to himself and until he does this I don't think he will ever be a peace with himself.
He needs to know he has ripped this family apart and myself and hubby are angry and disgusted by his actions but we just can not let him go through this by himself even though its going to be hard path a path I would not wish on my worse enemy.
So with help and support from wherever I can get it I will walk along side of him.
Thanks for listening
I am always here if anybody else wants to talk
X
What a sad and horrendous time we are having to endure.
I sit and look at my son trying to figure out when and why this started but he is the one with those answers I am wanting him to be trueful to himself and until he does this I don't think he will ever be a peace with himself.
He needs to know he has ripped this family apart and myself and hubby are angry and disgusted by his actions but we just can not let him go through this by himself even though its going to be hard path a path I would not wish on my worse enemy.
So with help and support from wherever I can get it I will walk along side of him.
Thanks for listening
I am always here if anybody else wants to talk
X
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