Family and Friends Forum

Good evening

I would like to wish everyone a merry Christmas from mine to yours,, please it's for one day a year try to enjoy and if anyone is struggling please reach out on here my email is always open your not allowed.

I would like to share my story I remember this time last year we had the knock and then before I know it everyone around me is getting ready for Xmas.

I remember having a chat with myself and saying I got the kids nothing and turning to amazon and ordering all the toys I could and the throwing the Xmas tree up and trying to make everything look OK.

But I released everything was not OK and that's OK to and I remember falling a sleep on the sofa and the kids came down and they where happy he had been.

Then my in laws came around and they where like why can't we smell the turkey cooking I was like sh*t I have not got the turkey out the freezer,, then remember thinking I have F*'K this up and I then thro I not sure what we having yet. They left and I was then like what you done how could you forget the turkey I could of fell to my knees and cried and gave up but I looked at my kids and thro you know what women. You got up every day

You feed them every day

You washed them and their cloths every day

So in this saddest of why I am here and the darkest I saw two children happy and I felt I had done my job.

I asked my kids what they wanted they said pizza and chips so that's what we had and I bet one day we will look back and laugh one day.

So to anyone that thinks they are not doing well

Yes you are

Its OK not to be OK

Take a breath its one day and their will be many more to come.

I just want this to give hope that Xmas is what you make it xxx MEERRY CHRISTMAS XXX big hugs and lots of love be kind to yourself xxx we have others that give us hate without us doing to ourselfs xxx

Merry Christmas

I just remeber them early days and around Xmas looking on here for help from people a head of me,, and the thing I have learnt is that we will have days where we are told come on you need to pull yourself together,,

You need to stop crying he /she is not worth another one of your tears.

Its Xmas it's a time to be happy,,

Well FCUK them if you want to cry then cry,, its OK

Its OK to not be OK but please don't sit in silence come on her sound off call the helpline the samartains,,

If you don't want to put your tree up and all that then don't it's your home,, it's your life.

That's defo what I learnt about last year by slowing things down,, catching my breath and learn tomorrow is another day and by processing things and taking things a day at time I don't have to accept anything today I don't know but when I did process I learnt that accepting things does not mean it does not hurt any less it just mean we learn that it's their and it hurts but that is OK to xxx

The biggest present we can give each other this year is kindest and the biggest present we can give ourselves is kindest. I don't care who you are you don't know what you would do till your standing their at the door with the police and give the information you are given then them people walk away and go home. Family move on and so do friends but I want to say it does get better I think that's cause we learn where are safe places are to talk I did the inform course thro LLF and it saved me it gave me a group of friends that understand my emotions,, my struggles,, we laugh together and we cry together. They had all read my story on here about last year about the pizza but they did not know the face behind the post then about two weeks or so ago and one of them said you know we should have pizza Xmas even in support of this nice lady last year. I asked them to explain and they said they had read the story I then told them oh that's me lol so tonight we celebrated getting here with having a zoom call and pizza xxx so something negative has now become something positive xx