Requesting evidence
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Hey,
On the charge crap that came through for my partner it details that you or your solicitor can request the evidence prior to your hearing. The solicitor and others on here have already said that you can only get the evidence like 5 days before but is it worth a shot emailing yourself (obvs my partner would need to request) to see exactly what they have? I've been reading through posts on here and I've been thinking a few more months and this will be over but then I've seen a couple posts which say it can take up to 2 years for it to go to trial if you plead not guilty which makes me want to throw up. Extra throwing up ensues when I see posts from people who genuinely seem like not guilty was appropriate and then they get found guilty and end up with a custodial.
On the charge crap that came through for my partner it details that you or your solicitor can request the evidence prior to your hearing. The solicitor and others on here have already said that you can only get the evidence like 5 days before but is it worth a shot emailing yourself (obvs my partner would need to request) to see exactly what they have? I've been reading through posts on here and I've been thinking a few more months and this will be over but then I've seen a couple posts which say it can take up to 2 years for it to go to trial if you plead not guilty which makes me want to throw up. Extra throwing up ensues when I see posts from people who genuinely seem like not guilty was appropriate and then they get found guilty and end up with a custodial.
Hi baffled,
I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed. The waiting game is awful!
I'm sure I've seen others say you are meant to receive the evidence straight away but the CPS rarely do. In which case I'm sure your partner is within his rights to chase it up. I actually called the CPS to ask for an update with my son's case and they were really lovely - polite, non judgemental and efficient. They were also shocked about the delay in the police informing me of changes and apologised on their behalf. So don't be afraid to call them, you can find their number by googling CPS in your local area.
My family members story is likely to be one causing you distress but do remember there will be lots a jury is looking at and it will depend on what your partner is accused of and what actions he can actually be linked to and what he has said that could make him look bad from a jury's perspective.
I'm not sure what he was actually charged with? I know you said the police treated you and him badly and you thought some of it was due to mistaken identity? But what I'm saying is every case is individual and try not to speculate too much xx
I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed. The waiting game is awful!
I'm sure I've seen others say you are meant to receive the evidence straight away but the CPS rarely do. In which case I'm sure your partner is within his rights to chase it up. I actually called the CPS to ask for an update with my son's case and they were really lovely - polite, non judgemental and efficient. They were also shocked about the delay in the police informing me of changes and apologised on their behalf. So don't be afraid to call them, you can find their number by googling CPS in your local area.
My family members story is likely to be one causing you distress but do remember there will be lots a jury is looking at and it will depend on what your partner is accused of and what actions he can actually be linked to and what he has said that could make him look bad from a jury's perspective.
I'm not sure what he was actually charged with? I know you said the police treated you and him badly and you thought some of it was due to mistaken identity? But what I'm saying is every case is individual and try not to speculate too much xx
Thanks Grace! It truly is and it's not fair that time spent waiting is never factored into decisions but hey. That's good to know, I think we'll contact them tomorrow and see what we can find out. It was your story which I last saw and it made me feel sick because how can they find someone guilty when the evidence points otherwise! But as (I think it was you) you said, these cases are so taboo that most likely a jury will already be programmed to see guilt. I don't want to say too much as I don't want too much identifiable info on here but there are a few charges all relating to a chat and sending photos. There was a chat which took place but as there was other evidence shown in his interview from an account he definitely didn't use we're not sure exactly what charges relate to if that makes sense. He did send pics and chat to someone off the back of a group but everyone in the group had to verify their age with an admin beforehand so I'm confused as he is to how it's all ended up here. I was treated horrendously by police as many of us have, still sticks in my butt that they blatantly told me he had been viewing CP online yet they found nothing on his devices!! I just hope and pray that the solicitor has something good to say and if not we'll have to see what else others have to say. Thank you for taking the time to respond, it's much appreciated <3 xxThanks Lee. Exactly, it makes sense that you should have it straight away. I've seen a couple of cases on here where people have said they've pleaded guilty and it's shocking. These types of crimes have the biggest implications to people's lives so you'd think that more work would be done to ascertain the truth from the sake of just looking for convictions. Thanks Lee, I will defo remember that! Xx
Reading your posts am I naive my son admitted to the police what he had done now we have to wait in the meantime does he need to get a solicitor now or wait ?
Many thanks
X
Many thanks
X
Lee 1969
No he did not have a solicitor when he was interviewed he was offered to get one and they would come back but instead he admitted to it .
He lives by himself and I just think he panicked and knew he did wrong so admitted to it .
The police were very good apparently but now he as clamed up won't talk about it
Looks like he is burying his head in the sand I don't know the extent of what he as done.
I have him living with us but he is acting like nothing as happened.
So I'm getting more uptight
Thank you
X
No he did not have a solicitor when he was interviewed he was offered to get one and they would come back but instead he admitted to it .
He lives by himself and I just think he panicked and knew he did wrong so admitted to it .
The police were very good apparently but now he as clamed up won't talk about it
Looks like he is burying his head in the sand I don't know the extent of what he as done.
I have him living with us but he is acting like nothing as happened.
So I'm getting more uptight
Thank you
X
Lee 1969
Thank you so much for your help
He is 28 so I feel like I'm badgering him
Thank you so much for your help
He is 28 so I feel like I'm badgering him
I'm sorry my story caused you concern baffled. I completely understand and I wish my family member had a more positive outcome. As I said on a thread before, he did cross a line in my opinion by talking with someone he knew to be underage. I can't give details as I don't want to be identifiable but he gave information that can understand made him look bad in the jury's eyes. Unfair as I wasn't illegal, yes, but I can see how it went that way.. Only you and your partner will know the details of his case and what the best option is (with solicitors support). I wish you the best of luck! X
Mum50, admitting guilt is not a bad thing. It means he can get the help he needs and compliance should be considered a mitigating factor in sentencing. My family member maintained, and still maintains his innocence (not my son that I've talked about on other posts) and was compliant with the police. Some of his words were twisted and legal things he had done were made to look bad in court. This won't have an impact if your son pleads guilty, only if he pleads not guilty which won't happen if he's already admitted it. Hope this reassures you x
Mum50, admitting guilt is not a bad thing. It means he can get the help he needs and compliance should be considered a mitigating factor in sentencing. My family member maintained, and still maintains his innocence (not my son that I've talked about on other posts) and was compliant with the police. Some of his words were twisted and legal things he had done were made to look bad in court. This won't have an impact if your son pleads guilty, only if he pleads not guilty which won't happen if he's already admitted it. Hope this reassures you x
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Grace please don't apologise! It's myself who sends my anxiety through the roof and I'm glad I read your story because it's just another potential outcome to prepare myself for. I'm fine for a couple of days and get my head around things and then I have a meltdown and start Googling and delving in this forum. I've always been impatient and a worrier so this situation doesn't help at all. Honestly, thank you so much for your help I really do appreciate it. Xx
Baffled I totally agree about decoys being used inappropriately. I don't think they should be allowed to initiate conversations nor move it to sexual chat. It's important to protect children but I feel that having all these decoy profiles starting sexual conversations almost normalises such things.
Lee, that's awful! That poor person! Vigilantes should definitely not be allowed to operate and certainly not in such an invasive and immoral way!
Lee, that's awful! That poor person! Vigilantes should definitely not be allowed to operate and certainly not in such an invasive and immoral way!
That's true but if the catfish looks of a legal age then it's all very subjective. I totally agree. I honestly do think a lot of men are punished for being silly rather than being a predator or a danger to children but I can imagine they also do come across some people who do pose a risk. How do they differentiate between the two because at the moment I think a lot of lives are ruined unnecessarily but of course changes can't be made to the law now because the outcry from those who scream "paedo" at the slightest crumb of suggestion would cause uproar. The thought of my partner being classed as a sex offender is sickening, he's the most gentle man I've ever met. Yet the guy who used to ask me to go to his dressed in my school uniform when I was 15 and he was 20 is going about his business as normal after getting younger girlfriends after every breakup. The math isn't mathing here! Xx
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Smile through the tears
That could of been me writing what you did.
My son is a very loving person but with low self esteem and not loving himself or looking after himself or his flat he became a lonely man.
Went to work that was it he did have a couple of friends but not loads so he didn't most of the time alone in his flat.
Looking back I feel guilty that I did not check on him more maybe it would of helped maybe deep down I knew he was struggling to find love whether from a man or woman I'm not sure on that either, but he is 28 so there is only so much you can do.
It's the worse feeling ever that you think you have let your child down.
I am trying to strong but its hard and its only Bern 2 weeks for me.
Thinking of you all X
That could of been me writing what you did.
My son is a very loving person but with low self esteem and not loving himself or looking after himself or his flat he became a lonely man.
Went to work that was it he did have a couple of friends but not loads so he didn't most of the time alone in his flat.
Looking back I feel guilty that I did not check on him more maybe it would of helped maybe deep down I knew he was struggling to find love whether from a man or woman I'm not sure on that either, but he is 28 so there is only so much you can do.
It's the worse feeling ever that you think you have let your child down.
I am trying to strong but its hard and its only Bern 2 weeks for me.
Thinking of you all X
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I totally agree Smile! I suppose it's easy for people to believe the media and jump on the bandwagon because many people aren't capable of critical thinking and believe what they read. It's easy to read all these articles which state sexual communication with a child or "making iioc" and think that the person is a "Paedophile" and a danger to society not knowing how some people get to that point or that the evidence was questionable and what these terms actually mean. The Police were so quick to tell me my partner would come back and groom me into believing he's not a predator and this narrative is atrocious and harmful. I'm glad your son has your support, you're a fab Mum <3 xx
Ahhh Thankyou so much for that...... you do walk across many tightropes of emotions.
I mainly walk 3.... 1. love him - he's my boy, we are so close. 2. Anger - how could he do this to our family and rip us apart 3. Sadness - how his life has changed from now on.
I do try to keep strong for him and believe everyone deserves a chance.... he is not a bad person...
I mainly walk 3.... 1. love him - he's my boy, we are so close. 2. Anger - how could he do this to our family and rip us apart 3. Sadness - how his life has changed from now on.
I do try to keep strong for him and believe everyone deserves a chance.... he is not a bad person...
Our sons have so many of the same traits
Lack confidence keep themselves in there own space
My son is a good man but he doesn't see what we see he is my world so are my other young adults
I have found this whole journey really hard as have many of you all
Just wanted to send love & hugs to you all xx
Lack confidence keep themselves in there own space
My son is a good man but he doesn't see what we see he is my world so are my other young adults
I have found this whole journey really hard as have many of you all
Just wanted to send love & hugs to you all xx