Help and advice needed
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Honestly I can't believe I'm posting this and that I'm here on this site.
On the 8th December my husband was leaving to go to his school teaching job when I heard voices in our home at 7am and from that moment my heart sank.
On paper my husband had it all a loving family and a great job and now I've found out he's got a porn addiction.
About 5 years ago we had the knock but the police didn't find anything and I ended up blaming myself - I had left the door unlocked and the wifi password was written on a board.I honestly thought that someone had hacked our router.
Since then we got married and become kinship carers to our nephew who is 8.
Now social work are even more involved. I have taken my nephew to my family home about 200 miles away and my nephews dad is refusing to let me stay here(he is currently in jail and lost our nephew as he is a known and active drug addict) It's just a mess as I need to go through a child protection investigation, my kinship assessment and to top it off I have children's panels every 3 weeks.
My thing (I've told him that I can't be in a relationship with each other) are in contact everyday as we are co parenting. He said the police said he has 1 iioc which is a category C (according to him it's a topless photo of a teenager)
Has anyone else in this situation been kinship carers as well? Also to the people who stay in relationships and co parent how do you build the trust back up?
Does this get easier?
On the 8th December my husband was leaving to go to his school teaching job when I heard voices in our home at 7am and from that moment my heart sank.
On paper my husband had it all a loving family and a great job and now I've found out he's got a porn addiction.
About 5 years ago we had the knock but the police didn't find anything and I ended up blaming myself - I had left the door unlocked and the wifi password was written on a board.I honestly thought that someone had hacked our router.
Since then we got married and become kinship carers to our nephew who is 8.
Now social work are even more involved. I have taken my nephew to my family home about 200 miles away and my nephews dad is refusing to let me stay here(he is currently in jail and lost our nephew as he is a known and active drug addict) It's just a mess as I need to go through a child protection investigation, my kinship assessment and to top it off I have children's panels every 3 weeks.
My thing (I've told him that I can't be in a relationship with each other) are in contact everyday as we are co parenting. He said the police said he has 1 iioc which is a category C (according to him it's a topless photo of a teenager)
Has anyone else in this situation been kinship carers as well? Also to the people who stay in relationships and co parent how do you build the trust back up?
Does this get easier?
I am so sorry that you find yourself here.
I can't give advice about kinship, I am currently on a CIN plan but will be more than likely on CP when my partner is released from prison. He is currently on recall as he was on license when he got arrested for this offence.
All I want to say is please, please get some help for yourself in these early days. I didn't and 5 months in, and 5 months of pretending to be strong and acting normal for my children, I am completely worn out. I have lost 2 stone through the stress, and I am mentally unwell. I have tried ending my life over Christmas and am just struggling to see a way out. Even though my partner is adamant he hasn't done anything and the devices will come back clean, my head is completely torn and I am struggling with what to believe.
I hope you find the strength on this journey because it is long, hard and there is so many obstacles to be overcome xx
I can't give advice about kinship, I am currently on a CIN plan but will be more than likely on CP when my partner is released from prison. He is currently on recall as he was on license when he got arrested for this offence.
All I want to say is please, please get some help for yourself in these early days. I didn't and 5 months in, and 5 months of pretending to be strong and acting normal for my children, I am completely worn out. I have lost 2 stone through the stress, and I am mentally unwell. I have tried ending my life over Christmas and am just struggling to see a way out. Even though my partner is adamant he hasn't done anything and the devices will come back clean, my head is completely torn and I am struggling with what to believe.
I hope you find the strength on this journey because it is long, hard and there is so many obstacles to be overcome xx
Hi Middleoftheroad,
im very sorry to hear about your situation and I hope you get good advice in regards to the kinship situation.
Can I ask about the first knock you had - did they not find any evidence and what did the police/your partner say? Also was your partner able to continue teaching and also apply for kinship as would this not have been considered other relevant info for a DBS check? We are in a similar situation nothing found and husband strongly denied any wrongdoing. But we would be too scared to apply for an enhanced DBS as this info could be used against us. It was our IP address that was evidence so I would face exactly the same risks.
im very sorry to hear about your situation and I hope you get good advice in regards to the kinship situation.
Can I ask about the first knock you had - did they not find any evidence and what did the police/your partner say? Also was your partner able to continue teaching and also apply for kinship as would this not have been considered other relevant info for a DBS check? We are in a similar situation nothing found and husband strongly denied any wrongdoing. But we would be too scared to apply for an enhanced DBS as this info could be used against us. It was our IP address that was evidence so I would face exactly the same risks.