First Post - support and advice needed
Notifications OFFPost deleted by user
Hi Taylor800,
My first social worker was a nightmare, she was so horrible take no notice, as seen on previous posts, tell them you don't no wat u r going to do unless u no obviously, always make sure ( even if u don't believe it ) that u no ur other half is a risk and see if u can write a safety plan on how to keep the children safe when seeing their dad, ( I am currently trying to do this ) their is a post trying to explain how to write one and there is a template on the stopitnow website. Hope this helps a little I can't advise on the letters as I found this group after my husband had been sentenced
My first social worker was a nightmare, she was so horrible take no notice, as seen on previous posts, tell them you don't no wat u r going to do unless u no obviously, always make sure ( even if u don't believe it ) that u no ur other half is a risk and see if u can write a safety plan on how to keep the children safe when seeing their dad, ( I am currently trying to do this ) their is a post trying to explain how to write one and there is a template on the stopitnow website. Hope this helps a little I can't advise on the letters as I found this group after my husband had been sentenced
Hi Taylor
keep a written diary of everything you and your husband is doing from calling helplines, counselling, etc.
i echo what Dawn says about safety plans/character ref/accountability.
my SW wanted me to tell children Dads done something naughty, I said absolutely not unless I really have to. Regardless of what happens he's still their Dad and don't need the worry
keep a written diary of everything you and your husband is doing from calling helplines, counselling, etc.
i echo what Dawn says about safety plans/character ref/accountability.
my SW wanted me to tell children Dads done something naughty, I said absolutely not unless I really have to. Regardless of what happens he's still their Dad and don't need the worry
Hello Taylor
Welcome and well.done for posting.
My husband attended his plea hearing before Christmas. He had arranged for the report from his psychosexual therapist to be submitted along with a statement from me describing what had happened to us since the knock ( loss of job, finding another job, sale of car, loss of friends, putting anti porn restrictions in place on all devices), that he is truly remorseful ,will be doing further work to tackle his porn addiction and and that we have committed to couples therapy post sentencing, whatever that may be. I tried to keep a balance between facts and emotion, which was not easy and I must have redrafted it half a dozen times before I was happy with it. Keeping it within a couple of sides of A4 was a bit challenging too but the Court doesn't want to read copious amounts of waffle.
Unfortunately the Stop It Now report on my his interaction with them and his attendance on the Inform+ course didn't arrive in time for the plea hearing but it has now been submitted in good time for sentencing next week. It all helps in mitigation.
The Police came out to do their risk assessment a few days after my husband signed on the SOR and tomorrow ( today, didn't realise it is now Wednesday already) he has his assessment from the Criminal Justice social worker which will also reach the Court pre sentencing.
My husband is not planning to make any written statement directly to the Court. I am hoping all these assessments and reports will convince the Court a custodial sentence is not necessary.
The only other thing I would mention is that many of the partners on this forum are extremely caring and capable people but although we can be supportive we can't actually be responsible for our loved one's recovery; we can only be responsible for our own.
Ever Hopeful!
Welcome and well.done for posting.
My husband attended his plea hearing before Christmas. He had arranged for the report from his psychosexual therapist to be submitted along with a statement from me describing what had happened to us since the knock ( loss of job, finding another job, sale of car, loss of friends, putting anti porn restrictions in place on all devices), that he is truly remorseful ,will be doing further work to tackle his porn addiction and and that we have committed to couples therapy post sentencing, whatever that may be. I tried to keep a balance between facts and emotion, which was not easy and I must have redrafted it half a dozen times before I was happy with it. Keeping it within a couple of sides of A4 was a bit challenging too but the Court doesn't want to read copious amounts of waffle.
Unfortunately the Stop It Now report on my his interaction with them and his attendance on the Inform+ course didn't arrive in time for the plea hearing but it has now been submitted in good time for sentencing next week. It all helps in mitigation.
The Police came out to do their risk assessment a few days after my husband signed on the SOR and tomorrow ( today, didn't realise it is now Wednesday already) he has his assessment from the Criminal Justice social worker which will also reach the Court pre sentencing.
My husband is not planning to make any written statement directly to the Court. I am hoping all these assessments and reports will convince the Court a custodial sentence is not necessary.
The only other thing I would mention is that many of the partners on this forum are extremely caring and capable people but although we can be supportive we can't actually be responsible for our loved one's recovery; we can only be responsible for our own.
Ever Hopeful!
Thank you for your responses, they are really helpful.
I am going to go through writing up my protective plan this week. I have said it verbally but it will be much better if I write it up too.
I agree it is up to my husband to work at the recovery himself, I've just been helping find out what can be done then putting it his way to go forward with it. Its just been quite hard finding out what can help. I've only found out about the reports, character references amd accountability statements from reading on here to be honest. X
I am going to go through writing up my protective plan this week. I have said it verbally but it will be much better if I write it up too.
I agree it is up to my husband to work at the recovery himself, I've just been helping find out what can be done then putting it his way to go forward with it. Its just been quite hard finding out what can help. I've only found out about the reports, character references amd accountability statements from reading on here to be honest. X
Hi Taylor how are you holding up?
Hi Judith, is that right your oh had to sign the SOR before a plea hearing? X
Hi Judith, is that right your oh had to sign the SOR before a plea hearing? X
Hi
He had to sign on within three days of his guilty plea being accepted but before sentencing. As his sentencing has been postponed twice we still don't know how long he will be on the SOR.
He had to sign on within three days of his guilty plea being accepted but before sentencing. As his sentencing has been postponed twice we still don't know how long he will be on the SOR.