Family and Friends Forum

Judith

Member since
June 2021

195 posts

Posted Wed January 12, 2022 2:57pmReport post

My husband's sentencing hearing , due on 18th January, has been postponed as the pre-sentencing report from the Criminal Justice social worker will not be completed on time. We are probably looking at a delay of three or four weeks. Doesn't sound like much but we were all geared up for next week. It is just something else we don't have control over.

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2407 posts

Posted Wed January 12, 2022 4:26pmReport post

Hi Judith

It's a nightmare isn't it you just want this part to be done so you know what you have to get through

My sons plea hearing was postponed as the court made an error my nerves are all over the place

Sending hugs xx

Judith

Member since
June 2021

195 posts

Posted Wed January 12, 2022 5:04pmReport post

I think it is quite a common occurrence, but that doesn't make it any easier does it. The only way we manage is by focusing on one step at a time. I seem to have spent the last 14 months waiting, waiting, waiting.......

Upset mum

Member since
June 2020

2407 posts

Posted Wed January 12, 2022 5:25pmReport post

Hi Judith

It does seem a common practice been postponed

We are 19 months in so far xx

SAL

Member since
December 2021

895 posts

Posted Wed January 12, 2022 6:52pmReport post

Sorry to hear this Judith.

I'm only 4 weeks in, sometimes I feel that the case is moving too fast that we haven't had time to digest, other times I'm grateful having heard how long this has vedb happening for others.

Living day by day/ week by week is absolutely anguish. Having a date to work towards is one of the few things that is helping me cope.

Hope the new date is confirmed soon.

Cloud

Member since
May 2021

153 posts

Posted Wed January 12, 2022 7:14pmReport post

Don't want to give bad news but our sentencing hearing has been delayed four times over a period of 6 months. He's done his plea just waiting on sentence but courts are ridiculously backlogged. I've given up thinking about it as much as possible but every time the date comes closer the stress builds up but they only let him know the evening before he's not on the lists. It's horrible

Grace Hush

Member since
August 2021

145 posts

Posted Thu January 13, 2022 7:31amReport post

I'm so sorry Judith. Just makes everything harder. I really hope they stick to the next date and you everything is finished soon for you xx

Cloud, that sounds awful. I hope the next date sticks for you also and hope both of you get the closure and certainty you need soon! Xx

Judith

Member since
June 2021

195 posts

Posted Thu January 13, 2022 10:06amReport post

Cloud, thanks for your reply. I really feel for you and your family. As you say we get ourselves built up for each hurdle and being knocked back repeatedly has a debilitating effect and life continues to be on hold. Although this journey is so painful, and not one I ever imagined I would have to make, it has at least opened my eyes to the lived experiences of offenders and their families and I have felt truly humbled by the strength , practical and.emotional resourcefulness demonstrated by so many.

Annamarie

Member since
December 2021

74 posts

Posted Fri January 21, 2022 11:32amReport post

Hi Judith

I'm really sorry they are dragging this out even more for you. The waiting is horrendous. I hope they stick to the next date and you get through and know what to expect.

Take care x

Fluffy8

Member since
December 2021

11 posts

Posted Tue January 25, 2022 5:02pmReport post

I share your frustration! The waiting is unbearably frustrating, my partner just had his sentencing date adjourned for the 2nd time. Literally got a phone call an hour ago telling him he's not got to go tomorrow, postponed from 7th Jan til tmrw and now again until 4th Feb. There is so much stigma and focus on mental health issues yet they find this acceptable for those waiting to know their fate. We just want it over with so we can put it behind us one way or another.

Judith

Member since
June 2021

195 posts

Posted Wed January 26, 2022 12:14amReport post

Fluffy

This seems to be a very common occurrence. I agree just about the worst aspect of this process ( apart from the knock, the arrest, the risk assessments, the report in the press, friends finding out, losing his job, the hurt , being on the SOR etc) is THE WAITING!

After 14 months I am just about done with other people having so much control over my life..I know we will still have restrictions after sentencing, whatever the sentence, but on the principle of taking one hurdle at a time I just can't see past it.

Let us know the outcome on the 4th February. I will be thinking of you.

Katie28

Member since
December 2021

183 posts

Posted Wed January 26, 2022 8:46pmReport post

Judith and Fluffy I am so sorry for you both, this is so unfair to continue the torment. I hope and pray you get an outcome soon, I too am angry and frustrated at the sheer intrusion into our normally very private lives but feel now the whole world knows everything about both of us and can intrude into our lives as and when they feel like. Despite this not being my crime I no longer feel I have any privacy left even after sentencing, tomorrow we have another meeting with SS because someone has maliciously informed them my husband is a danger to our disabled daughter who doesn't even live with us and has not been mentioned on the SOR order of SHPO even though they know of her existence, thankfully we are supported by the police, probation and other involved authorities to advise he is no danger at all but we still have to go through the process, it really is unfair,

Thoughts and prayers to you both xx