Withdrawing from friends
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I've made every excuse not to go out or meet up with friends since the knock. im a social butterfly but I'm withdrawing from people, I don't want to do anything as I want to avoid questions.
I've told several friends we have separated as things have fizzled out, yet they keep seeing us togther because I have to supervise contact with our children.
Some people I haven't told we've separated keep asking us to go out as a couple. I've made excuses as I'm scared incase it ends up in media and they are upset with me for letting them socialise with an offender.
I've considered telling people that he is under investigation for accidentally receiving IIOC. When it wasn't an accident but I think some people are suspicious of what's happened between us. I worry about it coming out. But then does that make me bad for still lying? I told 2 friends the truth and they have withdrawn from both of us and the atmosphere in our social circle with our children (who have no idea) is awful.
im just so confused and sad and feel like I'm living a lie. I haven't decided whether to stay or go but he is still around for our children, living away but visiting regularly with me supervising contact
I've told several friends we have separated as things have fizzled out, yet they keep seeing us togther because I have to supervise contact with our children.
Some people I haven't told we've separated keep asking us to go out as a couple. I've made excuses as I'm scared incase it ends up in media and they are upset with me for letting them socialise with an offender.
I've considered telling people that he is under investigation for accidentally receiving IIOC. When it wasn't an accident but I think some people are suspicious of what's happened between us. I worry about it coming out. But then does that make me bad for still lying? I told 2 friends the truth and they have withdrawn from both of us and the atmosphere in our social circle with our children (who have no idea) is awful.
im just so confused and sad and feel like I'm living a lie. I haven't decided whether to stay or go but he is still around for our children, living away but visiting regularly with me supervising contact
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Thanks again Lee.
it's just so hard when I'm used to being so close to my friends and their families (all have children) I just can't handle the interrogation but I do miss them.
I also wonder how they will react if it goes in the media and I haven't told them. I think they'll be hurt I felt I couldn't confide but hopefully the true friends will understand why I didn't.
feelsick I haven't read your posts before you deleted
it's just so hard when I'm used to being so close to my friends and their families (all have children) I just can't handle the interrogation but I do miss them.
I also wonder how they will react if it goes in the media and I haven't told them. I think they'll be hurt I felt I couldn't confide but hopefully the true friends will understand why I didn't.
feelsick I haven't read your posts before you deleted
Hi jayjay
Sorry I wont write it again. The last thing I want to do is offend people.
But basically I was just saying I literally feel your post. And just saying that I myself have told people we have split as I can't deal with the aftermath of this crime.
I wish you well on this horrific journey xx
Sorry I wont write it again. The last thing I want to do is offend people.
But basically I was just saying I literally feel your post. And just saying that I myself have told people we have split as I can't deal with the aftermath of this crime.
I wish you well on this horrific journey xx
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Hey,
I haven't told a soul because I know 100% people are biased and their minds wander. We see so much stuff in the media and when it comes to images or conversations people have been conditioned to take that and assume the worst of the offender when as we all know, that is not always the case! I think maybe you could tell people you've separated but not ready to speak about it and that will buy you time. In regards to it coming out to the public, this is my plan if it happens. I only have Snapchat and Instagram, I have no pics of my partner on Instagram, I'm going to post as I normally would so people don't put 2+2 together. If anybody who matters asks me I'm going to say it was a drugs charge and they've manipulated something out of nothing which we will be appealing. To be fair I think majority of people won't ask because they won't have the guts. I'm quite brazen and fiesty so people would probably know better than to try it with me. In your case it's images so you could say he was sent a virus and it had pics and downplay it. I know it's hard and everyone's situations are different but you can put whatever spin on the situation you need to make your life easier because you've done nothing wrong. Nobody is owed explanations or full truths because until you've been on this journey you could never understand what it's like. Xx
I haven't told a soul because I know 100% people are biased and their minds wander. We see so much stuff in the media and when it comes to images or conversations people have been conditioned to take that and assume the worst of the offender when as we all know, that is not always the case! I think maybe you could tell people you've separated but not ready to speak about it and that will buy you time. In regards to it coming out to the public, this is my plan if it happens. I only have Snapchat and Instagram, I have no pics of my partner on Instagram, I'm going to post as I normally would so people don't put 2+2 together. If anybody who matters asks me I'm going to say it was a drugs charge and they've manipulated something out of nothing which we will be appealing. To be fair I think majority of people won't ask because they won't have the guts. I'm quite brazen and fiesty so people would probably know better than to try it with me. In your case it's images so you could say he was sent a virus and it had pics and downplay it. I know it's hard and everyone's situations are different but you can put whatever spin on the situation you need to make your life easier because you've done nothing wrong. Nobody is owed explanations or full truths because until you've been on this journey you could never understand what it's like. Xx
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