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Social services

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Maria

Member since
September 2018

286 posts

Posted Tue September 18, 2018 10:24pmReport post

My family member has recently been arrested for a sexual chat with a child. Social services are in our lives now and i just dont know what to expect. Will social services work with us and help us find solutions or will they forever just say the family member can no longer live at home. Does anyone have any positive advice or stories where families have been able to stay together.

Edited by moderator Fri January 25, 2019 8:48pm

Lucy from Stop it Now!

Member since
September 2018

517 posts

Posted Wed September 19, 2018 1:27pmReport post

Hi Maria, thanks for your post. We know from our work on the Stop it Now! Helpline how stressful these situations can be for family members. There is no clear-cut answer to your question, and I hope that others will share their experience with you on this forum. That said, social workers do work with families. The extent of their involvement, and the decision they make, will depend on their assessment of the risks posed to the child or children concerned. This will depend on the children's level of vulnerability as well as the understanding of the key issues shown by other adults in the family.

Obviously every family is unique, which is why there are no easy answers. And you are, of course, welcome to call our Stop it Now! Helpline on 0808 1000 900 or to contact us via secure and confidential email - you can find the form to submit your message here: https://contactus.stopitnow.org.uk

Wife and mum

Member since
September 2018

34 posts

Posted Fri September 28, 2018 6:18pmReport post

Maria,

i had social services in my life after my husband was arrested. It was 8 years ago and I have been assured things are better, but I won’t lie to you, my experience was awful. They were the worst part of it all for me. Not my ex and his crimes or the police (who were bad), but SS. My advice to you would be do as they say but don’t expect much from them. I had 5 social workers in 6 months and everytime the new one insisted on re interviewing my kids (3 and 7). I was very compliant and to be honest, too compliant. After a few months I got tougher and started saying no. If I thought they were damaging my kids I would say no. So maybe give it a try, but if you are not happy go to their manager and ask for some clarification on what they are doing. I found that helped. Good luck x

Krissie

Member since
October 2018

57 posts

Posted Sat October 6, 2018 8:07pmReport post

Hi

I have a now 17 month old and my husband was arrested in March when she was 11 months old and the images he viewed were of children in her age range so i had social services (ss) involved straight away.

It was really hard and I felt in the beginning that they were pushing me in directions that I wasnt ready for but once I was assigned a full time ss it got a bit better and she seemed to listen and work with me. She arranged supervised visition while he was waiting to be charged and I felt that they were working with me to move forward.

I will say expect to have at least 6 weekly meetings with ss and your health vistor. Also if your child is in school the school will be involved or as in my case the creche. It is reallt important that you work with them though and show that you are doing everything to safe guard your children.

With my case my daughter was kept off child protection because of the actions I took with them. I made my husband move out of the family home and he didnt see our daughter outside of their supervised times. She became classed as a child in need. This meant that the health vistor came out every 4 weeks and ss 6 weeks to assess my daughter in the home and wed have the meetings.

As for how long they are involved. Its been juat over 6 months since my husband was arrested. He was charged start of august and sentenced to 16 months in jail in september. He wont serve it all hes likely to be out in may and hes written to me even saying theres a chance hell be out in january under house arrest (if they can find him accommdation) but because he was sent down ss have now closed our file so they will no longer have any involvement. Even when he gets out they wont get involved its all down to me now.

The length of time they will be involved seems very dependent on how they feel you will manage the situation and how you protect your children. Not sure if that is helpful for you at all.

Snuggle

Member since
October 2018

19 posts

Posted Sat October 6, 2018 8:16pmReport post

Hi, I currently have SS involved, my husband was sentenced to 15 months in jail April 2017, he is now out on licence and living with his brother. I am having contact and seeing him when I can, I have 1 child who wants contact and another who doesn't, ss are pulling me in all directions and it now has gone to them seeking legal advice and possibly PLO, they are not willing to send me on courses as it has been a waste of money for other people in my area.

SS said is it worth all this stress? It is them causing the stress.

Good luck to everyone