First Week
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Hi. Got the knock last Friday, had no idea my husband (almost 22 years) had been doing anything online, let alone chatting in a chat room about illegal activities.
He was released late Friday under further investigation, no bail. Since then we've talked, cried, and talked some more. We've spent money we haven't really got to get him a single bed (don't want him that close to me at the moment),a new phone (refurbished) and puzzle books to keep him busy as he said he did what did because he was bored.
I am now thinking that I deserved to be treated to something nice. My life has been blown apart and everything in the last week has been about him. The trouble is, as I said, we don't have much money so I was wondering what other people did for treats/self care
Thanks for reading
He was released late Friday under further investigation, no bail. Since then we've talked, cried, and talked some more. We've spent money we haven't really got to get him a single bed (don't want him that close to me at the moment),a new phone (refurbished) and puzzle books to keep him busy as he said he did what did because he was bored.
I am now thinking that I deserved to be treated to something nice. My life has been blown apart and everything in the last week has been about him. The trouble is, as I said, we don't have much money so I was wondering what other people did for treats/self care
Thanks for reading
Music is my vice . I like blast tunes when in the shower or bath. So you do crafts? Might be groups on FB or elsewhere online you could get bits and pieces for free to start a project. When you are ready there is the Lucy faithful course for family and friends that is free to learn about these types of offending which can help proces.
As said above reach out the GP to get initial support aslo. The helpline is very good but the phone lines may be busy but stick at it and you will get through. Big hugs
As said above reach out the GP to get initial support aslo. The helpline is very good but the phone lines may be busy but stick at it and you will get through. Big hugs
Anything physical or outdoors helps me, so a walk in the countryside works perfectly. Beibg around people can be positive but sometimes I don't want company..
Do you have an option of someone you could stay for a few days? Maybe with someone Perhaps? Perhaps this could check all the boxes of a bit of space, some company (You don't need to share anything you don't want to) and some time for self care. Xx
Do you have an option of someone you could stay for a few days? Maybe with someone Perhaps? Perhaps this could check all the boxes of a bit of space, some company (You don't need to share anything you don't want to) and some time for self care. Xx
Hi. I'm sorry you are here with us. I too have been with my husband for 21 years. He is staying with his parents as I just don't know what I'm doing yet.
My idea of self care is walking my dog for an hour in the evening to wear myself out a bit, a hot relaxing bath then sitting on my bed with a face pack, painting my nails and a film on my tablet or phone. I think it good to do something some that keeps my brain distracted. I have also found my dogs priceless, not just companion ship but for making me go out walking amd realising its a great way to ensure a good nights sleep.
If none of that appeals, meet a friend for coffee and cake? Just about anything that takes your mind from this whole situation for even half an hour will feel like a treat!
I hope you find something x
My idea of self care is walking my dog for an hour in the evening to wear myself out a bit, a hot relaxing bath then sitting on my bed with a face pack, painting my nails and a film on my tablet or phone. I think it good to do something some that keeps my brain distracted. I have also found my dogs priceless, not just companion ship but for making me go out walking amd realising its a great way to ensure a good nights sleep.
If none of that appeals, meet a friend for coffee and cake? Just about anything that takes your mind from this whole situation for even half an hour will feel like a treat!
I hope you find something x
Hedgehogrose
Welcome to our community. You will still be in shock, wondering what on earth is happening. Think I was pretty numb for weeks, which strangely, was okay as it just allowed me to carry on at work and with friends as if everything was hunky dory. But sometimes it can be overwhelming and you think your head will just explode!
I try to deal with just one stage of the journey at a time. It's easier for me than for many as I am older, no kids, and I am retiring in the summer so I don't have a career to worry about really. But I still find sleep can be elusive and the doorbell causes panic attacks and sometimes my thoughts won't be quiet no matter how much mindfulness I try to practice. Reading rubbish murder mysteries works pretty wrll, though I never can remember who dunnit! And I find those Candy Crush/Magic Jewel games gradually draw me in until I realise I've let my tea grow cold. Now the covid restrictions are being lifted spending some time out at a Spa day ( or having a home Spa session) is relaxing.
Hoping things go well for you.
Welcome to our community. You will still be in shock, wondering what on earth is happening. Think I was pretty numb for weeks, which strangely, was okay as it just allowed me to carry on at work and with friends as if everything was hunky dory. But sometimes it can be overwhelming and you think your head will just explode!
I try to deal with just one stage of the journey at a time. It's easier for me than for many as I am older, no kids, and I am retiring in the summer so I don't have a career to worry about really. But I still find sleep can be elusive and the doorbell causes panic attacks and sometimes my thoughts won't be quiet no matter how much mindfulness I try to practice. Reading rubbish murder mysteries works pretty wrll, though I never can remember who dunnit! And I find those Candy Crush/Magic Jewel games gradually draw me in until I realise I've let my tea grow cold. Now the covid restrictions are being lifted spending some time out at a Spa day ( or having a home Spa session) is relaxing.
Hoping things go well for you.
Thank you so much for the suggestions.
Hubby and I have spoken about how we envision our futures and whether we are featuring in each other's vision. We both agreed we couldn't see a future without the other. We have no children so it's always just been us against the world and at the moment that doesn't change.
He's been doing counselling for his depression. He's working through the books recommended by the helpline. He's also doing the online courses.
For the moment I feel reasonable happy as I can't change what he did and I do believe him when he says he regrets it and won't do it again. So we might as well enjoy each other's company will the police do their stuff and then take it from there.
Hubby and I have spoken about how we envision our futures and whether we are featuring in each other's vision. We both agreed we couldn't see a future without the other. We have no children so it's always just been us against the world and at the moment that doesn't change.
He's been doing counselling for his depression. He's working through the books recommended by the helpline. He's also doing the online courses.
For the moment I feel reasonable happy as I can't change what he did and I do believe him when he says he regrets it and won't do it again. So we might as well enjoy each other's company will the police do their stuff and then take it from there.